I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time at the moment. I have my my own interpretation of what you are saying when you talk about not wanting to die, but disappearing at the same time. It is something i have spoken about with my psychologist and psychiatrist. For me it is a time when I want to get away from everyone and everything and be able to process things.
It also sounds like there are many thoughts spinning around in your head? At these these times that happened to me, and it would be a downward spiral. I would also find it helpful to write it out, or use some tool to act as a distraction and to act as a circuit breaker.
Perhaps you could tell me what, if any, support you are getting at the moment?
Is there anyone you feel you can trust to talk to? A family member, or a friend. Or talk about it with someone from Lifeline?
They can help you navigate through these challenging thoughts and feelings. Your feelings are valid, and there is hope for finding relief and support. Hang in there... I'm listening of you want to chat here also.
