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I can't help it but feel helpless.

ThoughtsGetToMe
Community Member
3 weeks ago
During my time in highschool, I've always thought everything would go well. But of course it won't always go well. This year, I've been attending my classes and tried my hardest to study. Until, lightning just kept striking me every single day. My class isn't exactly the brightest... I've been experiencing situations which causes me to have low self-esteem, depression, lack of self-confidence, and refusing to do specific activities. That's what helplessness feels like, and it's caused by my classmates. Yes, of course I have reached for support to change classes. I've talked to 2 Dean Of Students/Assistant, emailed the principal, talked to my friends to support me, and my TG (tutor group/homeroom) teachers. However, none of them could help.. or were prioritising someone else. I've been crying more than usual at home and school and not wanting to go to my friends due to the fact I didn't want to seem attention-seeking. I thought of coping methods such as self-harm. Though, how is it even gonna solve my problems... No one's there to help anymore and I can only rely on nothing but share my thoughts here. I lack so much motivation for learning due to my classmates being real jerks. My ears would burst just listening to EVERY ONE OF THEIR VOICES because of how disruptive they are. Not to mention they manipulate the teachers and try to "get along" and "bond" with the teachers to get their soft side. Honestly, I can't even learn at this school anymore. My school doesn't permit racism, yet it does at the same time!? I hate this, why do I meet harder paths unintentionally? Nothing's fair.. nothing's justified... nothing can help me fix all these problems. No one helps me. I don't think anyone I know is willing to... why am I living this unjustified life? I've failed to get a grip, failed to become better... That was my goal too... I've even failed my goal, failed to learn easier, failed to stand up for myself, failed to get help...
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Eagle Ray
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
3 weeks ago

Dear ThoughtsGetToMe,

 

Welcome and it’s really good you have reached out for support. Firstly I want to emphasise you have not failed in any way. You are doing your best dealing with the pressures of high school which are a lot to do deal with. Sometimes it can all feel overwhelming. It’s not unusual to feel that way and there is not something wrong with because you are feeling that way. Some of us are more sensitive souls too. Again there’s nothing wrong with that and it can be an asset in many ways, even if we feel things more and struggle a bit more at times with some aspects of life.

 

I am thinking it could be helpful for you to reach out and speak to someone at Kids Helpline. There number is 1800 55 1800. They also have a Webchat option if you prefer. If you go to their website they have a section with resources for teens (13-17). If you do call, you can express to the counsellor what you have here. They are equipped to support people of your age with the kinds of struggles you are experiencing. It can be grounding and rebalancing talking to another person and help you to feel supported. I have called helplines for support before and it can help to feel less alone and more resourced to manage and work your way through things.

 

I also sense you are very intelligent and perceptive. You are noticing things like the school not permitting racism yet observing examples where it occurs. I remember seeing similar contradictions in high school. One of the challenging things as we grow up is realising there are a lot of imperfections in the world including contradictions at times in the institutions we expect better of. It can be disappointing initially realising that the adult world doesn’t always run as well as it should and some less than ideal things occur. But as you keep growing in life you can grow in wisdom and insight and learn to navigate this imperfect world we live in. You already show a lot of insight, emotional intelligence and sensitivity, so you are someone with much to contribute to this world and be a balancing influence for good. Know that you are a worthy human being and the world is better for having you in it.

 

Feel free to keep chatting or let us know how you go with things if you would like to. You are not alone, even if it feels that way at times, and you are welcome here whenever you need some support.

 

Kind regards,

Eagle Ray

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