Dear I_Need....~
I read about your live towards hte end of last yo ear, you were not in a good place and did try reaching out, unfortunately you became disheartened becuse they did nothing except talk with you. The breaking down, the suicidal thoughts and attempts continued. A horrible life ot lead.
Yes the music is a bit of a life-saver, it sounds as if it is something in your world you can control and rely upon. That's great.
Do you mind if I say I think you are on the wrong track? You asked how to hide the signs of your hurting yourself. Yes if you did that successfully nobody is going to ask you questions and you are not going to have to make up excuses. But why should you?
I remember you asking how you could tell your parents in such a way that they took it as seriously as it deserved and got you the proper medical help you need.
I had depression and anxiety and was suicidal. I never told anybody for years and it is only luck I'm here talking with you. I ended up with that medical help, medications and therapy, and a family that understood I was seriously ill. From then on I improved and now my life is changed out of sight - for the better. I enjoy it.
Do you think that rather than hiding your marks you might show them to whichever parent you think could be best? the one that is likely to take them seriously, believe you when you say you have been trying to take your life for over 6 months and that you need real practical help right now.
You can get them to call each teacher whose class you have run out of too if they need more.
You need a goal -to get taken seriously by your parents, to see a doctor then to see a therapist who specializes in young people such as yourself.
Yes it will take courage, but you have already broken a barrier by telling your friends, They had no power to do anything. Now the next barrier is with people that can make things happen.
Please do not be tempted to face a parent and just talk self-harm, that is serious, but the suicidal thoughts and actions are very much more serious, and really do need to be spoken of (or written in a letter).
Parents often make a genuine mistake, believing that success in study leads to the best for their child. Mental health is miles more important, but they don't realise until they are confronted with it.
Do you think you could do this? If I found I was on the wrong track with a son or daughter of mine I'd do everything I could to make it right.
Croix
