Dear Marley~
I've left off the 'Crying' becuse I hope after you have been here a while you will not feel like it. We are a friendly bunch and many have had similar problems to yours.
Before I go any further could I suggest you have a look at Qlife. My apologies if you already have. They go from 3pm to midnight every day wiht phone, web chat and resources.
I guess it is one thing for you mum to say she accepts you, but that is just words. Obviously she has not really got there yet. In fairness if somebody has been brought up not to think about life properly it can take a while to get things right.
Do you think the limitations are not inside you but inside her, even though you seem to be blaming yourself? Frankly I don't think there is anything wrong wiht you despite what you believe. It can come as a bit of a shock to see how small a parent's horizons are.
Actually I suppose the same applies to the scars, while it is easy to think her silence means she does not care - and I suppose it is possible - there is another alternative - she many not know what to do and feels if she talks about it then it might make matters worse. Many think this but they are completely wrong of course.
You are the person on the spot, if you step back and look do you think any of these ideas is possible?
I am worried about you, self harm and thoughts of being tempted to kill yourself are pretty dangerous and very hard to live wiht - and give away. You deserve a better life than that. Can I ask if you have talked to a doctor or psych about this? I could not make myself better and never improved until I did.
I've probably said enough for one post so will stop now. However I'd really like it if we could talk together more
Croix
