Don’t know if this is good or bad

[H-c]

Hi, so a while ago I was feeling really how do I describe this? down in the dumps. Last several months including last year . So um I still have these thoughts and all and I’m still irritated 24/7 to the point where ppl asks why I’m always mad. How do I tell them I’m not and I don’t know why I’m feeling this way either? I still have mini panic attacks and feel like disappearing every time... Everyone still assumes that I’m okay and I’ve got everything figured out but why couldn’t they see (I mean of course they can’t see) that I can’t sleep, and stay up till 1-3 trying to sleep because of all these thoughts and trying to figure out how I wouldn’t disappoint them or let them down why am I expected to know everything. Like I’m not some superhuman or anything.

So yeah... that’s basically it I don’t know if it’s good or bad. If it is on a scale of one to ten on it being bad ten being the worst how bad is it.

[therising]

Hi H-c

I'm sorry to hear that person who you felt so at ease in confiding in has passed away. If you could imagine that person sitting opposite you and you were in conversation with them, what advice might they offer you, under the circumstances? I'd only recommend this exercise if you are comfortable doing it. Perhaps it might make some difference to you.

To engage people emotionally when they're not used to this kind of open communication is definitely a challenge. Sometimes it helps if you can pick an experience they can relate to, such as 'Do you ever recall the being in a job where you were under so much pressure to perform that it was incredibly stressful? Do you remember how that stress felt? Who did you have in your life to talk to about it? How did you manage the stress?' Your mum might say 'I had your father to talk to'. Your dad might say 'I had your mother to talk to'. If one or both had no one to talk to, under such circumstances, you could always say 'How did it feel, having no one to talk to?'

If there's a history of 'bottling things up and getting on with life' and you're the first generation who actually wants to talk about how they're feeling, you should feel proud of yourself. You could say you're wanting to break the cycle. It's healthy to vent and talk things through, to finding a management plan that works. You know that saying 'The black sheep of the family' (the odd one out)? It's typical that the member of the family who's different is different for good reason. They are often the member who breaks tradition, who has wisdom to offer those who are prepared to listen and desires the most growth, in natural ways. It can be hard if you're this person, among others who are about tradition, not listening carefully and not growing in ways that will serve them naturally. I do believe you to be a blessing to your family. It is often the most sensitive member of the family who is the leader, holding the potential to lead others to a greater understanding of life. To connect to our feelings and use those feelings as a kind of compass in finding direction means not being detached from emotion. I believe you to be a powerful member of your family, based on who you are. Being sensitive enough to feel what's right and what's wrong is an ability you clearly have. Stress will often be telling you there's something wrong with the situation you're in, there's a fault in it and it's not your fault you're dealing with. What is the fault?

🙂

🙂