Confused and heartbroken, need advice

[User95]

Hi all,

ive been with my partner for 3 years now. We don’t have the best communication skills in our relationship as my partner is not expressive at all, rather avoiding people and being by himself. He likes to handle things in own time, which I complete understand. I suffer with a lot of mental health issues, which have gotten worse over the last few months. I will admit that we haven’t been ourselves for the last 2-3 months. We are in a constant cycle of him getting frustrated with me over small things and me getting emotional. Last night I could not cope with my feelings anymore and relapsed into SH.
when I told my partner broke down and said our relationship isn’t healthy and he knows he has treated me badly (which he absolutely has not). He told me he hasn’t been feeling himself for the past few months and he doesn’t know what’s wrong with him, that we need to break up because we’re just too different emotionally. My mum picked me up last night because he didn’t trust me to drive home by myselfand I am COMPLETELY heartbroken and confused. I just don’t understand how he can give up on us so easily. My partner lost a parent a few years ago which he told me he never got counsellling for, which is making me think that he has underlining issues he needs to sort out.
Is our relationship really over or does he just need space? Did I scare him?? Please help me make some sort of sense out of this.

Can someone please help me make sense of all of this??? I’m just so lost. Did me admitting my SH scare him?? Is it something he needs to sort out??

[Sophie_M]

Hey User95,

Thanks for reaching out to the Beyond Blue community tonight. 

We're sorry to hear of the stressful past 48 hours you've had. We can hear that your partners need to split has come as a massive shock to you and that you are unsure whether the relationship is over or not. It might be worth asking your partner whether you can both arrange a time to speak in person? It sounds as though you need clarification that this is something your partners really wants and has thought clearly about. 

Can we ask if you are receiving mental health support? Please do feel free to contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way if this is something you feel would be beneficial.

You may also find it useful to read through some of the resources on Relationship Australias website, including:

• Normal differences and warning signs of a relationship breakdown
• When is a good time to seek professional relationship help?
• Positive and respectful relationships

Some of our community members should be around shortly to offer you some support and advice.