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Another fellow person who is thinking very much about welcoming death

n2k12
Community Member
hey all. i am a fellow person in the same boat as you guys. I have autism, BPD, agorophobia,
and MDD. i have reached out to health professionals. they always say they will call me back. i never hear anything. I got to my GP, he gives me random anti depressents that make my situation much worse, and cause big stomach aches. i have had to take myself off them. I feel like the
GP is not listening. i told him about the issues with my medication, well that particular type. i have been on them for over 2 years, and they have done so much more harm than good. they made me psychotic in nature. they are awful. i wanted to do the right thing, and i had high hopes that medication may help. Recently i have moved into a caravan park, in a single studio room. I like my space. its small, but its a home. i was living in a tent before this. unfortunately it does come with downsides. there are allot of drug users here. like 80% of people are either on "oxy's" as they like to brag, lyrica, marijuana, speed, or god knows what else. people are often loud, obnoxious, rude, egotistical, they get into physical fights, they are loud at early ours of the morning, the other night a woman started breaking down and screaming on the top of her lungs at 10:30 at night. i was upset and could not get back to sleep. i have enough sleep issues as it is. i have had 6 hours sleep in 2 nights. One guy keeps knocking on everyones doors at all hours during the day or night. he does not care. he is persistant, arrogant, makes underhanded remarks, and annoying me. have tried explaining to him these behaviors are anti social and inappropriate. he just keeps doing it on a daily basis. i have stopped speaking to him or opening my door when he knocks. i feel my privacy is being invaded. these units / rooms are already so close together, you can hear peoples tv and music at night. its doing my head in. i am trying so hard to get back on my feet mentally. i used to be an alcoholic, i am not anymore. i used to abuse marijuana. i dont touch it anymore. although , i have wondered about going on the medical marijuana program, but no one will help me, because their views, over ride my need for proper help. anyone care to share input? TY
2 Replies 2

Joanphield
Community Member
I just wanted to say I'm sorry that your living situation is so difficult and that your doctors aren't listening to you. That sounds very difficult, but it also sounds like you're doing an amazing job and have come a long way. X

KPau
Community Member

You sound like you’re in a very difficult situation. I’m happy you are no longer living in the streets and you have a roof over your head. It’s such a shame your doctors aren’t being very helpful.

I’m wondering if there’s a local Salvation Army group that may be able to help you perhaps find alternate accommodation. Perhaps you can try and find a new doctor that might be more helpful.

I wish you well