When there is no light in sight.

[TAnnetta]

Are you in a dark place with only thoughts of failure and maybe of dying?  Well know this; You are not alone! Everyone fails at some time or other and everything dies eventually. SO WHAT?!. Life is part of an eternal education. Negative thoughts are a part of that education. Take whatever time you need to have negative thoughts but remember, they are just a part of a whole. There is only one thing that continues forever and that thing is change. Rekindle the positives of your past. Goals are what made you move forward before and they can do so again.  Look for new goals. One goal could be for you to find the person who understands you. The universe has a positive balance for every negative. Make it your goal to find yours!

[lookingforme]

Thank you for those words.

Possibly the right time for me to hear them as well

[TAnnetta]

I am happy that you have gotten something positive from my post. I think that depression is like a negative conversation in one's head probably started by some sort of loss, failure or other terrible life experience. This conversation is like a loop which is stuck on the notion that there is no light at the end of the tunnel and the future is one of loneliness and bleakness. NOTHING anyone can say will change that notion.The fact is that NO ONE can accurately predict the future and a especially not a depressed mind. Every second of the future is NEW and UNCHARTED. One must override the negative conversation by repeating this to themselves . Some achieve this with a certain amount of success through meditation. It is also very helpful to know that the people who have pulled themselves out of the darkness  are around for support.

[JessF]

Hello TAnetta, I like what you say about every second of the future being new and uncharted. The world can change in an instant, as we're constantly reminded on the news each day - unfortunately these examples are often not postiive ones, but the principle still holds.
When we're deperessed, it can be impossible for us to imagine a time when things will ever change. Time stretches out into an infinite plain with no edges, so we can't grasp hold of it.

But when you break it down into seconds, we all can get some control back. I am not so great today. But I can make a choice this second, this minute, this hour, that I am going to get through until this fog lifts. I can walk outside and feel the sunshine, take a breath of fresh air. I can savour the taste of my morning coffee instead of swilling it down. There are always options.

[TAnnetta]

Yes Jess, Negative news seems to be all around us . That definitely takes some joy away from life.  You are sounding positive and I think getting sunshine really is good and not just for obtaining vitamin D. I do believe there are more severe cases of depression in the winter months. I'm not religious  even though I was brought up as a Christian. In my childhood days faith in a God  was like a neutraliser for sadness and also a guarantee for a happy future (as long as I was good according to the religious rules). We all have a safety valve out there waiting for us to discover but the trick is to find it.  I have strong faith in the universe as a balanced system and that is my neutraliser when things try to become unbalanced. I believe that when I'm in a negative state of mind the scales are falsely tipped away from the truth, which is neutral. I call that "living a lie". Negative conversations in one's head  need to be at least put on hold, if they can't be stopped altogether. A new conversation needs to be given fair time and hopefully, eventually override the negative one.  Some times the new conversation has to come from someone else.

[JessF]

Hello TAnnetta, that's another great analogy, using the idea of "conversations". Although we can have conversations with ourselves, the best ones are with others, and it reminds us to stay connected with others where we can. This is something I've probably been failing at of late. I think it's a combination of lack of interest from others, and a lack of desire from myself. Any ideas?

[TAnnetta]

The best conversations are with others and particularly with others who are understanding . You are having a new and positive conversation with me on this new day about new ideas so I don't see any "failing" . I  believe we all have an ongoing conversation in our minds and it is basically a chain reaction of one thought to another as we try to work out the best path  for ourselves. Dreams are a sort of conversation where the mind is free to go anywhere in a state where the  inputs from our 5 senses have been dulled down enabling a greater, uninterrupted freedom of thought. Unfortunately, usually after trauma or a loss of something important to us, this chain reaction can go to the negative and feed on itself and quickly snowball into a dark hole. Some people stop this negative chain of thought with meditation, music, doing puzzles, eating foods they enjoy,  finding a religion or chanting a religious phrases over and over.  There is something  out there for everyone. It's sad when people are so disillusioned with themselves that they give up hope  and stop looking for this "something".

[hairyca]

Today was a bad day, but I made it through 🙂

I wish it was easy to put those words into practice, will keep going, and hopefully things will look up.

[TAnnetta]

I understand. Sometimes you convince yourself that all is bleak and there's NOTHING anyone can say that will change that. Without knowing your circumstances I can only suggest you tell yourself that even though you can't alter the bad thoughts in your head  you can try to put them on hold. Just tell them to shut up and wait, shut up and wait. Some times that needs to be said out loud so the other half of the brain hears it. Every day is a new one and you can't even pretend to  accurately predict  the future. What you are doing here is a step in the right direction.

[geoff]

dear TAnnetta, your replies to Jess and Hairyca have been very profound.

A lack of interest from other people is always quite concerning, but unfortunately that's what happens, but if the boot was on the other foot then they would expect us to help them, but life should always be 'I'II scratch your back if you can scratch mine', and does this ever happen usually no.

Hairyca I have replied to your other post so I hope that you can get back to us.

It's interesting that even though I have overcome depression but when I have a session with my psychologist, he stops me in my tracks when I'm talking to him and he says 'look at all the negative thoughts that you have just said', I think it's second nature when you're had depression, and whether they affect you is determined by how strong you are to fight them off, or at least react to them in a negative way. Geoff.