When Is The Last Time You Have Done a Good Deed?

[blondguy]

Hey Everyone and New Posters too!

I have had Depression and GAD since 1983. I am fortunate to have a crackerjack GP and Psychologist to help me help myself. I live opposite a nature reserve and noticed the local council guys doing major pruning of non indigenous plants/trees with chainsaws and shovels..Even though they get paid for it I went across with Ice Cold bottled water and Pepsi Max cans in a bucket of ice just to thank them for their hard work and caring for this beautiful reserve. I met two new wonderful people that were actually fully qualified Horticulturalists.. They were over the moon with ice cold drinks :-).My depression vaporised after I thanked them and walked away. I was just thinking if anyone else has done a good deed to a person and felt really good about doing so?

Kind Thoughts

Paul

[Lost_Girl]

Hi Lynda,

I will be thinking of you too and wishing for the best news, that it's nothing. I hope you are able to put the worry aside, it is out of your control for now so worrying can't help. Distractions and keeping busy is good.

Big hugs,

Carol xx

[Fiz]

I've also given to others, to close friends of mine. It does make me feel good - but a word of warning: others can take advantage, and this only makes your depression worse because you start to doubt the integrity/humanity of the company you keep. I've given money to my friends and they say they'll repay it, but take forever to do so or put it off and say "I keep forgetting". It makes me angry, but it's hard to say, "no" to them (they are friends after all). What's worst is that they only seem to contact me for money; and not to catch up; or they only do a good deed for me if I've done a good deed for them first. Call me cynical but I feel I have to get it out of my system here and at least warn you all about some potential, unforeseen consequences.

[JessF]

Hello Fiz, cynicism can be healthy sometimes. You might call it being a realist! What you say above about beginning to doubt the integrity of the company you keep I actually see as a positive thing. Of course it doesn't feel good to be taken advantage of, but friendships (or any relationship) works both ways. It's hard to maintain meaningful relationships if it's all one-sided. You sound like a very giving person. The depression you feel in these kind of situations is the minds way of saying, something isn't right here. And perhaps I need to find some friends who share my values.

[Lost_Girl]

Hey Fiz,

I agree with Jess F.

You are definitely right. I had a friend like that who wanted far too much and never gave back. Not money but time and borrowing things.

I learnt when I was in my late teens to never lend money to friends. If ever asked I always say no and suggest they try parents or relatives. I do have a friend who does it tough and I have in the past given her money but as a gift expecting nothing in return. She is a kind-hearted soul who always finds a unique way to "pay" me back with kindness or homemade gifts or she searches around markets to find books I might like.

It is hard to say no, but true friends will accept a no and not treat you any differently.

You sound very kind Fiz, I hope you find friends who will be as kind in return.

Carol

[blondguy]

Hi Fiz

JessF and Carol are spot on here. You have brought up a good point. Having depression does make us sometimes vulnerable where our emotions are concerned.'

Your heart is kind and JessF is right...you are a realist. Your caution is a good one for many that read the forums Fiz. Cynical? Not at all...smart and super kind..yes!

Thankyou Fiz

Paul