What I have learnt from the past & how to apply it in my current life

[Elizabeth CP]

One of the things I have noticed talking to my psych is how much what I have learnt from earlier experiences is still impacting my life now. Some of this is appropriate but in some cases it is no longer working for me.
In this thread I want people
to share what they have learnt if at all.
Reflect on how it can be adapted to suit your life today to help keep you well
What needs to be abandoned because it is not helping you in your current circumstances.
My example.
As a young person I learnt to be very careful with money because we had little due to circumstances outside my parents control (losing a house in a bushfire & then long term serious illness of both parents). I learnt to save & make do.
Being careful with money is useful as it means we can spend our money on what is most important & go without things which are less important.
Sometimes I am too careful. I need to spend money on things which will improve our lives. For example sometimes picking the cheapest accommodation is false accommodation if we aren't comfortable & can't relax. Perhaps I need to be prepared to pay someone to help me with things like repairs rather than struggling to do it myself & ending up stressed & feeling dissatisfied by the results.
I hope others can share their ideas or comment on what I have shared. This way maybe I can motivate myself to make needed changes.

[startingnew]

hi Elizabeth

what a great idea! im just tagging in for the moment but ill be back. thank you for starting this thread!

[Moonstruck]

Hello Elizabeth....I was wondering whether I should start a new thread about what has been puzzling me...and where to put it, but perhaps it will fit in here...??

How do you tell the difference between "learning from the past, healing past traumas and working our way through them" from "living in the past, feeling pain, guilt, sorrow etc about the past which cannot be changed and is gone, " and all those other phrases we are advised NOT to do....we are always advised to "be here now, live in the present, now is the only time we have" and so on.

sorry if this is a bit rambling, but hope someone gets what I mean....how do we "heal the past" without dwelling and thinking about it??? anyway just thought I'd throw this out there....have the best day you can everyone! x

[startingnew]

Hi Monnstruck

i get what you mean and i think its a brilliant question! i wish i had an answer for you but im following along with interest either here or on a new thread.

[Elizabeth CP]

I started this thread with good intentions to help myself sort some of my thinking to be more helpful to me. Unfortunately life went haywire & my focus has been surviving rather than improving. Still trying to recover but things are slowly improving.

In answer to your question I think there is a difference between learning from the past compared to being stuck in the past.

Recently I read a recommendation to think back to the past & list what things you used to enjoy or gave you satisfaction. Use this list as inspiration for things to try again. I think you also need to be prepared to adapt to suit your current circumstances.

An example in my life I used to enjoy bushwalking & camping with my husband. Unfortunately now my husband is blind & has other serious health issues making it much harder & impossible at times. Being stuck in the past would mean; giving up because it is too hard & feeling depressed & miserable because I can't do anything I enjoy.( I am guilty of these feelings ) Learning & adapting from the past means deciding this is something that is important for us to do but we need to modify how we do it. For example I need to plan carefully but be flexible so I can postpone a trip if my husband's condition warrants it. Because of the extra stress involved I need to factor in extra time & breaks staying in comfortable accommodation rather than camping every day. (I am still working out what works)