What helps to keep well?

[PamelaR]

Hello everyone

Have been around the forums now for a couple of months. Posted a couple of threads under PTSD, but think it's time I move on to 'Staying Well'. In reality that is the reason I came to Beyond Blue Forums in the first place - to stay well. Not to dwell or mooch in the past.

Many of you will have read the factual information about my past. Something that is missing from my posts though is - how I really am. That's what I want this post to be. It has to be about things I'm finding out about 'who I am and how I keep well'.

I was so down, having retired last year, losing all sight of what I wanted to do, being physically incapacitated, thyroid medication not right and screaming inside. The psych who I'd just started seeing wanted me to look a my personality..... No you don't. That's not what I wanted. So I moved on to a new psychologist.

The new psychologist is drilling down. I have to take stock of myself, my feelings, my emotions and ultimately - who I am (so I need to look at what has formed by beliefs, behaviours and values).

Interestingly I'm still apprehensive about divulging me. You know why - because I was brought up to show no emotion, to not feel good about myself. And especially NEVER talk to others about yourself. That would be bragging or worse, getting too big for my boots.

ATM feeling very emotive. I want to scream, I want to reach out to you all out there and to hug you all.

Hugs were never something that happened in our household. I only learnt how to hug women in the 1990s when I worked with some wonderful group of women in the disability field. How good was that!! What had I'd been missing all those years - hugs from women. It learnt it was okay. Hugging men - of course that was always okay cos it's normal.

Me - my heart pounds at least an hour or two every day. I spend and hour or two settling those pounds. Why does it happen - every look, every word, every sound and every thought make me feel worthless.

I asked hubby today if he loved himself. He said well, yes a lot more that I did before. You know I did that. I thought him to love himself. But can I do that for me. I'm really trying.

Loving oneself - keeps you well. I'll get there. BB forums is helping me like you'd never believe.

Sending everyone who reads this all the hugs I can.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[demonblaster]

Good on you Pam, at BB here we're very lucky to have you, you have a pure good heart Pam, happy to know you

With you darl

Amazing heart felt soul hugs 🤗

Wishing you well Pammy ☺

[blondguy]

Hey PamelaR

What an inspirational and heartfelt post 🙂

Looks like we have both had a similar upbringing (with all respect to your parents of course)

To answer your thread topic;

• The more frequent the counseling the better our recovery will be
• Calm and true acceptance of any anxiety/depressive symptom.....Anxiety cannot exist when we excerise acceptance. Anxiety symptoms can exacerbate when our fear is still there for 'it' to feed off
• Being 'simple' for a change and not having high expectations/goals (being 'Gentle' with ourselves)

Thankyou PamelaR for writing such a proactive thread 🙂

BearHugs

Paul

[PamelaR]

Welcome Deeb. So good to have you as my first visitor. Feel like I've known you for so long.

I want to cry. You know that is so hard for me. I could never do that in the work place. Totally 'in control' I was, but suffering anxiety deep within. I learnt crying (even in women) was a weakness, not valued or worth anything. Showing 'strength', 'calm' was the only attributes worth anything in life.

I have learnt so much from all the people (not family related) about how to keep well.

Have to go now. Dinner is served!! Catch you later on - hopefully you get some sleep DB. Wishing you all the best too. Caught your hugs - lovely!!!

Pammy

[demonblaster]

☺ enjoy your meal Pammy yeah does feel we've known eachother a while doesn't it

Hun took me many yrs actually not long ago I realised it's not weak crying..it's an oulet.

As often and as many 🤗 as you like lovely

You too have a good sleep

Hey Pauly ☺

[startingnew]

Hi Pamela

its nice to see you have your own support thread now, ill be more than happy to join your support crew as well xox

[Speak Your Truth]

Thank you Pam for your new thread - and what gutsy girl you are. Go Pam !!!

Your first paragraph particularly struck a chord with me - “think it's time I move on to 'Staying Well'. In reality that is the reason I came to Beyond Blue Forums in the first place - to stay well. Not to dwell or mooch in the past.”

I’ve become aware that I am allowing myself to be bogged down in the negatives, the past, the difficult present and (I’m sorry to say) feeling sorry for myself. Bad stuff has happened to me without a doubt but I know how damaging it is for me to stay stuck there. I know I have to remember that bad things DO happen to good people, that I am stronger than I think and that I CAN do it. I know I have to put in the effort and fight for myself, to not to let the turkeys get me down.

With the help of the wonderful people on the BB forums and your new thread Pam I WILL do it.

Thank you Pam.

So I’m offering my version of that “think it's time I move on to 'Getting Well'. In reality that is the reason I came to Beyond Blue Forums in the first place - to get well. Not to dwell or mooch in the past.”

ive

[white knight]

Hi PamelaR

You've been a great contributer here on the forum.

Staying well....once medication is "right" I think there is a sweet spot to get to.

Its a combination of many things- keeping busy, no dwelling, distraction, variety, connecting to nature, simple living eg a picnic, agreements/rules with our partners, spiritual contentment, a hobby, accepting the down times and bouncing back quickly, relearning to laugh and dare I say it , loving ourselves.

This level of peace Ive reached and its so satisfying I love to preach it and why not.

Sure its taken many years.

I hope you continue your good work here. You are valued.

Tony WK

[PamelaR]

Hello Everyone!!

Thank you for joining me!! I'm 'almost' crying. My heart certainly is.

Paul - Caught your 'BearHugs'. How awesome are they. Thank you so much!! Yes, I had kind of guessed we had similar upbringings. In a way that's probably why I feel a connection with you. Can't explain it. But it's been there since being on BB.Thank you for all your compliments. You know, I can't get through the door now - my head is sow swollen. LOL.

Deeb - Dinner was magnifico. Tandoori chicken legs, tahini carrots with shallots, baked garlic pumpkin, rice and salad greens (spinach and kale). Super food. Interesting about crying - I can do it on my own, in my bed, hidden away - especially for releasing. But nowhere else, generally don't cry at sad movies. I learnt to be 'strong' (??), I had to be strong. Couldn't let my mother see me cry otherwise it meant I'd be in for it. Strong upper lip and all that. Thank you Deeb. You're beautiful. I will sleep very well tonight.

StartingNew - how good are you. I'd be very pleased indeed to have you along as one of the support crew. You're great!

Speak Your Truth - how lovely are you. Thank you for all your kind words and support. I am so pleased to have given you inspiration to move to 'Staying Well'. That is so good to hear. I want to help people feel good about themselves. (There is a history to that - stay tuned and I'll explain sometime).

Thank you all for your wonderful support. It's so hard for me to expose what I perceive to be my vulnerability.

PamelaR

[PamelaR]

Hello Tony WK

Thank you for all your compliments! I do feel valued - thank you. It's so hard to accept - people being nice to me, i.e. giving me such praise. It was never acceptable as a child.

Funny you talk about 'when the medication' is right. Yeh, I think the change in my thyroid medication and my increased antidepressants has had a significant impact on my MH.

My tunnel is widening.

PamelaR