what are some long-term self-care strats?

[moody-_ahhhhh]

taking breaks and ambient noise doesn't seem to cut it anymore, i need something else because i still feel so moody even with my unproductive hobbies (videos games and youtube)

[moody-_ahhhhh]

@sbella02 btw i love the triforce profile photo as well as your insights

[TrueSeeker]

Hello moody

It's a bit like comparing apples and oranges. We all have different preferences in life, different things that make us happy, different drives to do different things, different circumstances to deal with.

It can help just to focus on what you want and what you have and make the best out of it. It's all up to you what you do with it, focusing on others can put a lot of pressure and put you on a path that is not a good fit for you.

I hope that this clarified it a bit

[moody-_ahhhhh]

feeling disappointed, been applying for club committees and realised my cover letters include another irrelevent one, why do they have to be so competitive.

[sbella02]

Moody, thank you, I'm a big Zelda fan!

I would give tips on how not to compare yourself to others, but I do not think it is as cut-and-dry as simply stopping the comparison. Comparison can be a good thing, and I think I've just learned to reframe it as I'm getting older - it's possible to compare yourself to others in a way that lifts you up rather than chipping away at your self-esteem. 

Firstly, I'll ask you the following questions. You definitely don't have to answer them here, but they may just be good to reflect on:

• What are three things I like about myself? 
• If I get to the end of the year and have done ______, I will be happy. 
• If I was eighty years old and was granted the opportunity to wake up in the body of my younger self today, how would I live today differently?

If you're going to compare yourself to anybody, it may be good to start comparing your current self to your ideal future self. I know this can be quite the existential task, and not everyone enjoys doing this, but it could be something to think about before comparing yourself to others. Having a really in-depth understanding of who you are and what you value in the world can help you recognise where comparison is helping and where it isn't. 

Secondly, with regards to comparing yourself to others, the following questions may be more helpful to spin these comparisons into a positive:

• What do I most admire about this person?
• In what ways would I want to be like this person?
• What could I realistically change about my mindset or lifestyle to be more like this person?

I will say as a disclaimer, this works best if there's a particular trait, achievement, or lifestyle that somebody has that you admire. Comparing your appearance to other's doesn't necessarily make you feel good, unless there's an aspect of their style that you admire, like the way they wear their hair, or the way that they dress. 

I'm sorry to hear that you've been having a difficult time with your applications. It sucks when we put in so much effort and still get knocked back. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but if you do, how are you feeling now about it? 

SB

[moody-_ahhhhh]

@sbella02 i feel sad, i realised my uni offered heaps of resources to help AFTER i did applications but i like the idea of mimicing other ppls good traits

[sbella02]

Hey Moody, great to hear from you again.

Have you looked into any of the resources they gave to see if any of them are helpful? And how are you feeling now that it's been a few weeks? 

[moody-_ahhhhh]

low on energy, not on applications but about how draining uni academics is. i hate it so much

[sbella02]

Of course, I can see how that would be tough for you.

How are you going in terms of self-care? Are you getting to spend much time with yourself away from uni, even ten to fifteen minutes or so? This can sometimes be a good way to reset and put you in a better headspace for dealing with uni work, as well as making you feel better in those moments when you need it most.

[moody-_ahhhhh]

its been so long, i hope ppl are still there. made it into clubs, juggled some extracurriculars but am having strong doubts it wont be enough for an internship, i cant even apply for any for credit till march cos i have yet to meet the credit requirement. i just feel im in a giant slump of not being good enough