Undiagnosed Dilemma

amd1953 · ‎04-11-2025

After completing a few surveys online over the past week and doing my own research on certain mental health issues, I managed to tick all of the boxes that point to ADHD. This doesn't really surprise me at all because I have had my suspicions since childhood. Those charming little eccentricities that were regarded as cute or novel have now come home to roost. The interesting thing about all of this is that it explains everything in one fell swoop. The general consensus is to consult with a qualified professional beginning with your GP. At the age of 72, I don't think making a big fuss about it is going to change anything. What is the point? I have lived with it for seven decades and it seems farcical for one more person to burden the health care system. I refuse to take any more medication. However, simply knowing about it is similar to completing one of those pictureless jigsaw puzzles. It's just nice to know.

amd1953

white knight · ‎05-11-2025

Hi, welcome

This is a good post because you are entering your twilight years like myself and that puts us into a different mindset.

Unlike yourself I'm stable as can be for bipolar on medication, but, honestly, I wouldnt strive to seek the fixes I did in my late 40's.

So what is important here is- if you have any mental illness the following is important-

that your behaviour/actions dont effect your relationships
that your personal life is manageable without pain and disruption
That your sleeping patterns are tolerable
that you listen to others assessments of your lifestyle and actions/reactions to others because some people are unaware of their affect on others.

The last one is interesting. I have bipolar, anxiety etc and I attended a therapist a few years ago. He took notice that I was very sensitive to loud noise. In fact I chastised my wife for yelling during a meeting with him. She siad she didnt yell, I disagreed, the therapist told me she didnt yell... it was that moment the interview took a different path and in the end I was told I was likely to be full functioning autistic. Well I researched that and yet another piece of the puzzle was confirmed in my mind (but I didnt get a full diagnosis because- same as you said at 70yo I could see the benefit). That gave me insight and help my wife and I understand why I reacted to different things more than I should.

BTW originally 20+ years ago I was diagnosed with ADHD. It was only 6 years later that it was found to be an incorrect diagnosis... it was bipolar. See the mania side of ADHD mirrored mania in bipolar. So, thats where professional opinion has its benefits. Dr Google can give us some possibles but also be entirely wrong.

Thankyou for your post

TonyWK

amd1953

Anything I write on this forum is not meant to be a "woe is me tale" but a conscious effort to ease the pain of memory of the past. Experience has taught me that a lot of people, perhaps the majority, can suffer extremes and then just as easily shrug it all off as a bad deal and move on with their lives. For those of us who find themselves in horrendous situations and are hyper-sensitive to every ripple in the matrix, we have to sit down and absorb the impact and then understand it. I am one of those people and my invisible antennae crackle with static electricity when my senses are overwhelmed with data. Carl Jung said that it isn't the external events or people that cause us the most pain but the way we process it mentally. Someone once told me that I analyse everything too much. The next day, in a book on writing, I read that all good writers analyse their surroundings. I rest my case on that one. I'm certainly not claiming to be good, but I do analyse everything. Since childhood, I have to understand as much about the world that I can process, especially with people. I don't expect everyone to agree with me. If you are of a certain character and temperament, you will be empathetic and compassionate to everyone. Even those who refuse to understand your methods or motives. There seems to be so much sadness and anger in the world today that I have had to literally withdraw from the world due to mental overload. We cannot control anything that is external to ourselves. Harnessing the power of the mind is therefore essential to wellbeing and realising that this is an imperfect world. You can't win them all.

amd1953

white knight

Hi, Re: "...just as easily shrug it all off as a bad deal and move on with their lives." Dwelling is in my family. A classic example is in 1976 I had a physical fight with a fellow airman in the Air Force. I apologised to him in 1977 even though I drove 4 hours one way to do so and was rejected. Fast forward to 2012 and Facebook, I found his site. He's moved to Canada. Again now 35 years later I messaged him apologising again- rejected by being blocked. Confused I sort the discussion with friends, every one of them agreed that they would have forgotten about it after the first apology and not have driven 4 hours to do so. That gave me awareness that I was excessive in my hanging onto the past and my guilt was extreme.

Carl Jung was so right, our mental reactions are not mainstream normal. But like many things out of the ordinary, we can change some things, alter some a little and some we cannot change. Those things we cant change it is better to find acceptance. One good example of this is sensitivity. There is HSP- Highly Sensitive People that can account for up to 20% of all people. Then there's sensitivity based or originating from mental illness. Eg I got some of my excessive sensitivity from my mothers undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder and some from Dysthymia (constant low mood depression) that came from one childhood trauma. I've taken a heap of criticism from others about it but as I began to learn that it isnt curable my approach has been "well it isnt fixable so "please try to accept my sensitivity as part of my makeup"

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/sensitive-beyond-reasonable/td-p/165991

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/highly-sensitive-people-hsp/td-p/480942

On the flip side some people lack all empathy. I've learned to accept that in them but like you I keep my distance from them. This is quite clear with them not showing empathy to mental illness sufferers.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/they-just-wont-understand-why/td-...

The result is as you say hibernation. I see that as a good thing- self enforced boundaries that allow us a happier life especially if we plough our minds into a passion. I've had several- model airplanes, house building and trike building and many other inventive things like making a train out of a ride on mower where the locomotive continued to mow our lawns lol. Those things kept my sanity but toxic friends and family particularly narcissistic types are out of my life. That even included my mother and sister that were destructive. Very sad but essential actions for my well being.

It is indeed an imperfect world. I've enjoyed your posts. Reply anytime if you like.

TonyWK