To Everyone Who Has Depression and/or Anxiety

[Suzbj]

To everyone who has depression, there is a strength in you all that some of you may not recognise yet. I have recently discovered that strength in myself which was a personal epiphany. Me saying it won't make it happen in a meaningful way to you. It has to come to you on a personal level and it will if you just hang in there. I just want to encourage you to hang in there. Just keep fighting and stay proud of who you are because who you are so valuable and worthy. Or you wouldn't have been born and be on this planet.   

Today I got an email from someone that explained why my daughter wants nothing to do with me and won't allow contact wth my grandson who I love dearly as I love my daughter dearly. It is because I have depression. One month ago I probably would have lost the plot completely if not worse. Today, it was - well, that is her loss. And unfortunately my grandsons loss. I have Clinical Depression. That is my life. I am doing the best I can. I am not unkind, hurtful or out to do wrong to anyone. It is my daughter's loss and unfortunately my grandson's who has no say.

But I am okay. And still strong. LIfe is what it is. And the most important thing that anyone can do is learn to love themselves. It is internal that matters most and has the power to destroy or raise up. Others, even those we love, can only destroy us if we let them. By loving ourselves we are better equipped to not only be kind to ourselves, but kind and forgiving to others. 

I love my daughter and it is her right to feel and react as she has. She is on her life's journey as I am on my mine.

All is well with the world and I will never stop loving her.

Take care

Suz

[Beetle]

Hi suz

thanks for posting this. you are very good with writing. you expressed how I feel. I also have clinical depression and realized that I need to accept how I am , except the depression as part of me. it made me a better person. However without my "magic mushrooms" I wouldt be able to have the ability to reflect on all this.

Hope you doing well. Shame on the person sending you such an email. but they are still on their journey and have obviously a long long way to go

Love Beetle xx

[Jo3]

Hi Suz

So nice to see you back on here.

What you wrote is so so true.  Recovering from depression and any other mental illness is a journey.  A personal journey. And I must say I have clinical depression, anxiety and BPD and yes I struggle but I am doing the best I can. I don't care any more what my parents think of me; this is my journey and I will deal with this recovery on my own, may way.  If they or anyone else doesn't understand it or struggles with me then that's there problem not mine.

It's shame you have no contact with your daughter or grandson but like you say it's their loss; not yours.

I hope you're doing okay Suz, thinking of you

Jo xxx

[geoff]

dear Suz, I am pleased to hear back from you, and this post has shown that although you have clinical depression, and it's been a long struggle for you over a long period of time, is that there is some strength reappearing within yourself.

It is not a pleasant email to receive, but you have taken it with grace, and you will still love your daughter and your grandson will be asking questions to your daughter about you, and no matter what happens over this period, your grandson will find out where you live when he turns 18, but hopefully this happen before hand.

Suz, I loved your post as there were times that you desperately needed so much help, and by no means does this indicate that you won't down the track, but I really hope so for your sake.

Please don't leave it so long 'between drinks', as I always love to hear from you. L Geoff. x

[Suzbj]

Hi Geoff, Beatle and Jo,

Thank you for your lovely comments. There is something I would like to clear up first. The person who sent the email was actually being supportive and communicating with me which was much needed by me. So they really went out on a limb to tell me what was happening for my daughter. And yes, it is my daughter's loss, but she has her story too. It was not easy for her growing with an undiagnosed mother for most of her childhood. I imagine we both could have handled our decline in relationship differently. We are all people at the end of the day with our own stories. Thank you so much BB for this site, for being able to contact you. Like today, I went on chat. I am trying to find a Dr. Haven't had one for three months now I think. This is the third Dr I have seen since my Dr left and total utter put-downs - sometimes subtle sometimes blatant. I cried all the way home and then had a chat to BB. It really helped and I am so grateful for BB and this forum and being able to be candid. Cheers to you all - Suz xx