The Shangri-La of living with mental health

[white knight]

Through my own lived experiences and those of members here and community champions, I've landed in a place that is "manageable in terms of my mental health. On most days that is, we learn that our inground issues never go away but overall I'm in a good space. So what are the key components of that happiness especially the mandatory ones that should be implemented?

• People management.  If we lived in a wold where you were the only living human then your issues would reduce quickly. This is because the world is made up of humans that can be destructive, cruel, over reactive, manipulative, criminal, narcissistic and many other abrasive things that should lead you to create and enforce boundaries. Implementing them can crate more issues with these people but it is a last resort and a self protection mechanism that becomes essential. Without these rules you are lacking self care.
• Embracing people. When you identify a kind soul that is considerate, empathetic, lacking obligation and non pressured in personality then you can assist your growth by keeping them in your life and that forms a feeling of security
• Ongoing treatment. It's ok to get to a place like I'm at now and allow treatment to slip away (I'm also 69yo). If your life is under your control including feelings, reactions and you are stable then you're ok. A good gauge is twofold- that people around you are happy and content with your behaviour and your life no longer has a flip flop of regular bad day that leads to adverse actions like self harm and suicidal thoughts. That is when you return to the treatment to set you straight.
• Fill your life up.  Many sufferers have a lot of time on their hands so distractions like a passion and hobbies can be a preventative measure. Passions are rarely crated, they come naturally but hobbies can be picked up. Sport is another interest that can help
• Sleep. Sounds sleep is underestimated to your mental health. If you snore or a partner told you that you stop breathing for periods of time while asleep then a sleep study is essential - see your GP. I've had 3 and on the 3rd study I was advised to wear a CPAP breathing apparatus at night. It has transformed my alertness during the day and has been pivotal to lowering mood
• Environment.  Advantages of a country town are a slower pace lifestyle, less condensity of traffic, shops and people, less crime, friendlier people. Just make sure a town has over 3000 people and less than 8000.

Thoughts?

TonyWK  

[quirkywords]

Thanks Tony.

I have tried everything for sleep but I find can live with restless sleep as long as I don’t worry too much.

a good friend who gets me is important.
I do over 20 hrs of  volunteer  every week as well as online volunteering for a few organisations.  people tell me I do too much but it helps me. 

[white knight]

Hi Quirky

There is many other activities that can help you sleep and once found you can drop off some of that volunteering work. I suggest that because my hunch is that its your workload that helps you sleep... exhaustion.

As mentioned in my thread "worry, worry, worry" worry is part of our makeup and from decades of worrying its relaxation, keeping busy (stops dwelling) and physically activity that helps us sleep. 

Relaxation is often not possible with a worrier as your mind can't relax to benefit from it. Recently we toured interstate with our caravan and I noticed that if we walked say from our site to a Cafe enjoying old buildings on a sunny windless day I instantly relaxed as my focus was on those buildings. Enjoy a coffee while my wife showed me her photos. 

So to relax for a worrier is to - focus on things relaxing. Plan distraction. I get it also from daily walks at home but not as effective.

A well planned life is essential, finances in order, direct debit means less paper bills, a mower man reduces gardening woes.

Dreaming up boundaries for people is everyone's right so people that regularly breach them need to be aware that you dont tolerate them anymore. Worrying about other people's behaviour but allowing it to continue is a green light to keep doing it. Living a life of worrying about pleasing others is a major red flag. 

TonyWK