Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[demonblaster]

Pawsy 🐾 hi and to everyone including readers 👋

Yip ditto the cooler weathers so much easier to sleep in. Being rugged up securely in comfort and warmth is da bomb. When we were little bubs we were safe warm assuming comfy in our Mums tums which may add security to bed as well.

Heats so uncomfortable yet many love it. Icky...they can have our share

Good girl Pawsy it's major steps doing small things not that I see them as small but you I'm sure know what I'm saying and I'll stop there else I'll get more twisted 😅 trying to over explain because beastys playing but I'm starting to see things more clearly woot!

If when you're up to ...that is when I get there 😂...planning very soon today/tomoz-ish to post in Addictions thread. I'm having some breakthroughs thanks to mania.

How you goin with the jab darl?

It's a lift having change I find although somes very hard for many people we adapt eventually. This change is great...new plants. Potting them and seeing them grow would be satisfying I'd think. So you like flowers nature I imagine yes living where you do and gardening?

I'm going to walk soon for wrong but ok reason for now. Be talking sometime in my thread.

Hope the rain settled lovey. It's got it's uses for sure and it's nice at times for various reasons. Needed of course but can be a downer and so restricting for long periods of time as you know.

Can hear the birdies singing merrily. The most beautiful music for the most...dog barking sounds like a big boy like brave Woofa 🍗 he'll be sharing that bone with me of course and we might consider giving you 1 small bite 😄 and cars...main Rd here..in the process of getting use to traffic sound ...clearly most which I knew don't do their 50 km grr.

Hope you enjoy your day dear Pawsy friend ☺🤗💗🕊🐾⚘

[Paw Prints]

Hello Deebi, Grandy, wave to everyone,

Well here we are a week later & the mouse saga continues... I never leave food out so have been trying to work out what they are eating... I discovered what last night... Woofa's food comes in 15kg bags... the tub I have for it only holds 10kg ... so I leave the last bit in the foil lined bag & roll it up (beside the tub) to keep it fresh... I had looked at the bag before & couldn't see anything... but last night I actually unrolled it (to tip it in the tub)... the bag resembled swiss cheese there were so many holes nibbled in it... they had chewed their way in through the ends of the roll... I'm really surprised because I had thought the foil lining would be mouse proof... nope big time!!... now I understand why there are so many...

I am still trying to do things about the house in small bits... my body isn't happy with me as I am walking around looking like an old woman bent over like a question mark & my carpal tunnel has flared along with my foot giving me grief... but I am still trying...

Really pleased with me this arvo... I spent 2hrs outside on my verandah potting up & repotting plants... there were storms forecast & the clouds have been black, but no rain yet... I checked back to see when I had mentioned repotting some plants... embarrassingly it was in May... well they are finally done now... still need to finish potting up the last of the new plants I got online... still I'm pleased I managed to be outdoors for so long.

Woofa would be very happy to share a bone with you Deebi...you would leap to the top of his favourite humans... all bones are banned here until we get on top of the mice...

Sending hugs to everyone

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi. Paws and everyone

Wow paws you sound really industrious! Good on you for potting the plants and doing stuff around the house! I hope you reward yourself with a nice cuppa and bikkie afterwards!

Oooh the mice sound horrendous! And they've chewed into the dog food bag!, Ugh!

I think you're doing amazingly well Paws I truly do. Well done you!

I've been terribly slack around the house again lately but I think it's because the house is so cold inside so it's not nice to stay indoors. Anyway that's my excuse!

Pats to Woofa whose food has been eaten by the mice! 😗🐾🐕💕

[Paw Prints]

Hello Everyone,

Yet again I have tried & failed to do something... I really pushed myself today to get outside & mow... after 20 minutes I gave up as the mower wouldn't start... it rrr'd but wouldn't catch... now I have to buy a battery charger... if that doesn't fix it then back to the mower shop.

So another wasted day... yes I did check the mower manual to see what type of charger I need... but did I go & buy one... no... did I whipper snipper...no... did I do anything useful... no... I wish I could work out how to stop stressing over something pointlessly & actually push through... it's as if I focus everything so much to push myself to do that one thing then I can't change course.

Rain for the next few days so no mowing weather until I don't know when

Hugs to everyone

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws!

I know that feeling! Sometimes it's so hard to get motivated and one thing going wrong can just be too much.

I think it's to do with being alone too. You think, what's the point? Nobody cares anyway.

I think that's what happens to me anyway.

Depression/apathy sets in!

Years ago when I was working in a very repetitive boring job with a few people we all used to say we suffered from "terminal apathy". I think it's a bit like that?

So don't feel bad you're in good company!

Another day will be better. There's no great rush.

Hugs from me and Sam watching a Nirvana DVD! 🙂🐕🐾

[Ggrand]

Hello Paws, Hanna and everyone..

I can join you both with that feeling..

I think once our minds are set in doing something that needs to be done...we get our mindset on that one chore..then something goes wrong and we can’t get it done...Then our thought pattern gets interrupted and we cannot motivate it to do another job...very frustrating..

Thats okay Paws...all in your own time..When your up to it you will go get that battery charger and be more prepared and confident that your lawn mower will start and your lawn will get a haircut....

Be gentle on yourself lovely lady...

I hope you can sit on your veranda and enjoy the watching and listening to the rain....Have you noticed that most of the birds seem to disappear in the Rain?...

Enjoy your day everyone....

Kind thoughts

Grandy..

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, Grandy, wave to everyone,

It looks like I won't be getting my front verandah finished later this year... nor probably early next year... it might not happen now til the following summer as I have raided the money I was putting away again... I decided yesterday I just couldn't keep trying to sleep on my old mattress... it is well past it's use by date & so uncomfortable... I gave in & ordered a new one online... it should arrive hopefully by the end of the month. I am amazed at how much some mattresses were on sale for... who would pay over $6000 for a double bed mattress???... & that was in the mainstream shops I looked at... the boutique shops were even higher.... I bought the cheapest spring mattress I could find... apart from adding some extra layers of padding I fail to see what extra they can do when making a mattress that warrants any of the higher prices.

Now I need to think of what to do with my old mattress... there is a company that collects them to recycle but as I live rural it would cost me $125 to get them to pick it up...so that is a no... I could take it to the tip for $40 but I'm tossing up trying to recycle most of it at home... there are quite a few sites online on ways to do that & uses for the bits it is made up of. Hmmm.... well I have a few weeks until the new one arrives, so I will have time to explore & ponder which way I will go. Turning it into an outside dog bed is one idea.

Grandy one thing I have noticed is the fairy wrens still use my bird bathe to take baths even on very cold days... like you I have noticed how birds disappear when it rains & I have always just assumed birds prefer to find a dryish place in a tree & wait the wet weather out... not the fairy wrens here & yet they are so small & frail looking.

Hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello Paws, and everyone...

I think you done the right thing in buying a new mattress... We had our last mattress for over 25 years...and bought a new one just before hubby was diagnosed...and I was astounded at the prices of them...Hopefully with your new mattress you will awaken more pain free then you have been...

Thats a good idea to check on you tube different ways to recycle the old one...I hope you find something that you will like and be able to do....

I don’t have many fairy wrens here...yet I did in my other home that I sold 7 years ago...only 9 kilometres from here..but I do have lots of Willy Wagtails that I enjoy watching...and can be funny sometimes....

I’m sorry that your veranda won’t get done for a while now...I hope one day soon you can do what needs doing their....

Take care of yourself Paws....You are an important person to me and so many more here in this caring community..

Hugs..🤗..from me and my fur girls..🤗🤗..

Grandy..

[Paw Prints]

Hello Grandy, Hanna, Katy, Deebi, wave to everyone...

Grandy I had a feathered visitor in my house this morning... all I could think of was please don't poop everywhere like Grandy's bird did... it was sitting on my kitchen windowsill & Woofa was bravely barking at it from my bedroom doorway... thankfully I was able to open the window & shoo it out & the only mess left was a bit of dirt from the pot plant it knocked over.

I actually feel like I've had a very productive day today... I have a 3 door solid wood sideboard... since I had the cleanout to move here I've only been using less than half of it... it was also remodelled by Woofa when he was teething so it looks a bit naff... I bought a new flat pack small cabinet to replace it ages ago...

Well today I emptied out the sideboard & dragged it out to the back verandah to use as my potting station... I emptied out & moved a buffet that was in front of the windows in the dining room over to where the sideboard was & then put everything back in it....

I have been keeping the cardboard boxes the dog food is delivered in... to use to smother grass/weeds when I set up my garden beds... they got dragged outside to the shed...

I have also started building the new cabinet... after sorting out all the different size screws!!!... why can't they just use one or two sizes... grrr

I don't think I will finish it tonight... plus my new mattress arrived 2 weeks early & I had to drag it through the house to lean in the hall as I don't have the oomph left to swap them over...

I could do with a bath with epsom salts... but getting out might be beyond me tonight...

I hope this burst of motivation lasts more than just today

Hugs to you all

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi paws and everyone

Wow Paws that's really impressive I feel tired just thinking about it all! Well done you getting all that done!

Changing over the mattress without help is a heavy job plus making the bed up again afterwards! God idea to save that for another day.

Well done you!

I'm a bit bothered as there's a big dead mouse on the road in front of the house and I hope the mouse plague isn't coming this way!

🌿🐚🐳🐥