Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws, EM, mmMekitty and everyone

We discovered there is a Jack Russell Rescue website for the Sydney area, my elderly friend got a reply from them within a day and on Sunday she and her son have two Jack Russell's to choose from, hooray! One a boy whose owner had to go into aged care and another. How exciting!

I hope Woofa is OK.

.. 💞🐕

[Paw Prints]

Hello Em, mmMekitty, Hanna, wave to everyone,

Em I would not be surprised if Alexa's dog knew the sound of your car out of all the others... I know Woofa & my dog before him knew the sound of my brothers truck... they both would start looking out of the kitchen window in anticipation even

mmMekitty I've found most rescues are far more careful about who they let take a pet these days than they used to be... however I think the rescues that Hanna's friend has been dealing with are going overboard demanding people must have two dogs... a number of scientific studies into the domestication of dogs have shown dogs are quite happy having humans as their pack... plus they can get doggy company on walks or at meet ups... it seems very discriminatory to me... people on low incomes could find it impossible to afford two pets... one pet can stretch many people. 

Hanna that is good news that your friend may have finally found a new dog... thankfully Woofa was much more settled last night & today... no signs of confusion at all... he was even brave enough to bark (from behind the closed front door) at the postie dropping off a parcel & looked very pleased with himself afterwards. I think he will probably have good & bad days... I do keep him in a set routine... unfortunately he has always been a complete failure at any type of mind games... he has never been able to find all the food even when it is scattered in clear sight before him... he is not the brightest (as my brother always said "like owner, like dog) 😁

Hugs

Paws

[mmMekitty]

Hi Paws, Woofa, Hanna, Sam & all,

I didn't realise quite how much it would cost to keep a cat, especially the ongoing vet bills for regular check-up appointments, then the cost of any treatment on top of that. So, two or more, most definitely something to be considered. I would have loved to have been able to to have at least two cats, when they said the other ginger kitten they had was her brother. Honestly, on a pension, it would have been too much, & I am very frugal with my regular spending.

I think, if I was spending something like 10 hours a day out of the home, leaving a dog alone, that could be too much. Dogs are social, (I don't believe cats are totally antisocial, just better at being alone - sleeping I suspected, than dogs), & need more interactions with others, who could be people, other dogs, other animals, motor bikes, or other moving objects, anything, I think, so long as it is outside their own heads. They need to interact with the world. Their world being restricted to in a small flat, with only a few windows, may simply not be enough.

I would not have that flat rule that people must get two or more, but I'd take circumstances into account. I've known people, who have house & yard, but simply do not have ability (mentally, physically, psychologically) to care for their animals. Love them to bits, but just can't do it, or when they have them, neglect them, or somehow seem to hate them & mistreat them - awful but true.

Hanna, I wonder how old the Jack Russells are? I suppose the older dogs would be less energetic, & quieter than the younger dogs. I only knew one woman who had a Jack Russell. When I saw him meeting & greeting his owner, when she arrived home, he was loud & jumping all around her, almost tripping her up. She went out several, (maybe max 😎 hours per day, volunteering as I did, back then. It seemed he missed her when sehe went out, & did get up to mischief too, causing some damage & sheer embarrassment on one occasion when he dragged her under garments out onto the lawn.

As always, I'm wishing for the best.

mmMekitty

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws and everyone -

I hope Woofa is staying well Paws.  Well my elderly friend and her son got a little Jack Russell today - I forget whether he's 8 or 10 years old - his previous owner had to go into aged care - my friend said talk about going from one extreme to another - one rescue service requesting copious details and application forms and inspections and another dog for company - and this one asking her nothing at all and just giving them the doggie!  Anyway I know they are kind people who take good care of their pets and they have a nice home and garden - yesterday they rushed out and bought dog things in preparation - and today drove a long way to the rescue place and liked this dog at once - I rang her late today and I could hear him barking - she said he has sniffed around and run around everywhere very excited and her son as been playing fetch with him - I think its very good for her, as her husband dropped dead a month ago and now she is focused on the new dog in the family  and looking forward to it cuddling up next to her on the couch once it settles down.  So that is nice.

Yes mmMekitty pets are expensive, even a cat... vets are costly and pets seem to need more now than when I was growing up - we would get a cat free from someone's litter - get it some food but otherwise they ran free and slept wherever... I don't think my parents ever took any of our cats to a vet... they stayed pretty healthy,so did our dogs.  Maybe we were lucky.

I've had a busy couple of  days... nice weather today but rain for next week I think.Not much news otherwise, just thought I'd pop by.  Hope everyone is keeping well! oxoxox

[Paw Prints]

Hello Em, mmMekitty, Hanna,

I'm sorry Em, I just noticed that my last reply to you ended mid sentence... I had been trying to get my post under the 2500 limit & I have obviously managed to remove more than I meant. I was trying to say that my dogs knew my brother was coming long before he arrived... they could clearly hear his truck some distance away.

Hanna I'm pleased your friend has found a dog that suits her.

Kitty it would be nice if we could get our pets vet bills covered by medicare... having a pet is shown to be good for peoples health... well I can dream can't I

Very warm here today... 

Hugs

Paws

[mmMekitty]

Hi Paws, Woofa. Hanna, Sam & everyone,

At the risk of becoming political, we still don't have human dentistry & other than limited support to see a mental health practitioner, & very limited for allied health practitioners... so, sadly I think Veterinary care will be some way off yet.

& maybe, Hanna, I worried overly much.

When I was young, the pets wer around, like any other member of the family, really, & being a kit, I didn't think anything about their health unless some incident or illness had made a problem obvious.

Now, my mind seems to have a totally different perspective, & I worried.

I hope your friend & her son can enjoy their new doggy family member. He sounds lively & lovely.

C'mon Woofa! Sam! I got big juicy 🍗🍗😺

& Hugzies? For everyone?

mmMekitty

[ecomama]

Hey Paws, waves to Hanna, Kitty, Grandy and everyone reading. 

I LOVE your thread lol! All this talk about PETS just makes my heart warm through. 
Yes I'm SURE Alexa's dog (have to make up an online name for her lol)... knows the sound of my car lol. 
This was proven yesterday when I went there in one of my son's cars and she WASN'T waiting at the window or front door smiling at me lol. I'm sure she was shocked! There I was. 

But today.... wow... Alexa phoned me from the Peninsula of land across the bay from our house. She asked if I could see them waving towards my house. I called LEIA LEIA (her online name lol)... and she turned around and sat at the water's edge! She began wagging her tail in circles and making the "I love Nanna" sounds omg how cute! 

It's gotta be between 500m and 1 klm away point to point. But most of that is water and sound travels so well across water. 

So they went on THAT bush walk after we had hours long discovery in multiple glades being regenerated in a hidden pocket of bush land today. Leia went swimming as soon as she saw the creek! Mind you this creek / suburb has the Aboriginal name for Black snakes ugghhh it's their breeding place here. 

What a MAGICAL place. 

Best go, 2500? lol
Love EMxxxx

[ecomama]

Oh totally agree that pets could be involved in Medicare. YES. 

I think I told you guys how shocked I was to see DOGS happily walking around all the airports near Canada and IN Canada on leashes ofcourse but SO happy. 
In shopping centres. Not discriminated against in Apartments. The whole shebang. 

JUST LIKE FAMILY. Because they are family. 

If it was recognised just how important our pets are for our MH, then possibly the Govt would support this idea. 

XXXX EM

[Paw Prints]

Hello MK, Em, Hanna, Grandy, wave to all,

I don't think it's being political wanting dentistry & so much more available on medicare...  I can't think of a logical reason for why things like that aren't already available... common sense says prevention is much cheaper than waiting for things to worsen... poor dental health can cause serious health issues.

Today was bin day, but my bin hasn't been emptied... I'm hoping it was just a broken down truck or similar & they will empty it tomorrow... as I only have a single bin which is emptied every 4 weeks I'm trying not to stress.

The yabbies in my front yard have been working overtime with the recent rain we finally got... there has been an explosion of mud towers appearing... its fascinating to see the work they put into making their towers... neat little balls of mud all laid in a ring then more mud balls in layers as the tower rises up.

Em do be careful on your bush walks... the snakes are starting to stir, but because they are still slightly torpid they can't make a quick escape if they hear us coming & so are more likely to react by striking if we get too near them. 

Hugs & pats

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws and everyone

I thought yabbies only lived in rivers... I'll have to google about them!

The trouble with Medicare is it's expensive and people would need to pay more in tax to pay for it and people always protest about higher taxes. My European friends always say they always paid high taxes but in return received free healthcare and good public schools. I can't get political but I'd say lots of people in this country aren't prepared to pay for these things.

My friend's jack Russell is setting in nicely after a couple of days of being a bit snappy, I can imagine going from his previous owner to the rescue organisation and now to a new home was pretty traumatic for him, poor little guy.

Hugs from us here 🤗🐩💞