Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Croix]

Dear Paws and ER~

Hmm- your talk of pythons has given me an idea, particularly if I convince one of the tasty snacks penguins and inebriated kiwis make. I think just the rumor I might have one would be enough.

". Croix has convinced the penguins that the world beyond the iceberg has more mischievous mayhem opportunities than the iceberg. And he’s convinced the kiwis that the world beyond the iceberg is brimming with many varieties of inebriation. "

Quite right, why do you two think you have been inundated? They have obviously found a more congenial new home than my plain old chily iceberg. They are adventuresome, my iceberg floated too close ot New Zealand and was immediately covered in inebriated kiwis wanting a change of scene, and all the fuss attracted the penguins (although I think MmeKitty had a paw in it)

Incidentally I doubt think even Olympic kiwis would enjoy a slide, more like a bob-sleigh where the could use their beaks as brakes on the curves.

Incidentally I believe most people only try mead once.

Croix (who is enjoying the peace of an unpopulated iceberg)

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws and Croix,

Paws, it’s good you gave your body another day of gentle movement. I feel that listening to the body is so important.  Hopefully by tomorrow things will have eased up considerably.

I’m glad your fence survived the impact of bulls enthusiastically reaching for the leaves on your tree. It does sound like maybe there’s no one on the property at the moment from your description. I imagine the young bulls are enjoying the freedom of the gates being open and being able to wander about the property as they please.

The greenhouse-like effect from yesterday was pretty much gone today. It was cooler, even a bit wintery. I went for a walk in the woodland across the road in the late afternoon. The sun began to filter through the forest after emerging from behind a cloud which is always so beautiful. I could smell the plants releasing there compounds into the atmosphere. It was so fresh. I walked down to where there is just one stream left still trickling through the forest. The other streams have dried up now. Cows were lowing nearby and their voices were echoing in the landscape. I disturbed a Carnaby’s Black Cockatoo on the ground who flew up onto a low perch. I then had a conversation with her. They are so intelligent and it’s like you can really interact with them. I also saw the same staffy I saw yesterday who galumphed up to me, snorting with exertion. Staffies are hilarious 😂

Well now Croix has got me thinking that the only way pythons can survive on an iceberg is if they have special knitted python jumpers. Otherwise their reptilian forms will simply be inactive on the iceberg. If they try to pursue a kiwi or penguin they will attempt to move before just going plonk on the ice, and the penguins can waddle about them and the kiwis stagger around them without a care in the world. So you might have to start knitting Croix.

But even with their winter warmies on, the pythons may be enticed by the kiwi beverages and completely distracted from dining on kiwis and penguins. The kiwis heard you insult their beverage making Croix (mead indeed!) and have now diversified into mulled wine, a cold climate favourite. This is so delicious for the pythons that they will become too floaty and light-headed to pursue their prey and simply recline in their knitted sweaters, marvelling at the icy landscape and the wonders of the night sky.

So I think it is full steam ahead with our plans Paws. Perhaps Santa can bring a projection screen for an outdoor movie cinema and the infrastructure for bar to showcase the kiwi’s delicious mulled wine. I can see this building up to a very memorable Christmas 🎄😀

Sleep well Paws and Croix 😴

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER & Croix,

It is hot & horrible today, but at least the winds are light, what with last weekends fire still not controlled & other fires popping up.  My bird bath has been popular today.  For the first time I had a magpie visit it.  It was drinking from it & though it didn't lay down to bathe it was splashing the water with its feet so the water went up its legs.  It was quite comical watching it stomp around. 

I made it into big town today, though it was mid morning before I headed off, so it was already hot.  By the time I did the chemist & my licence (both were busy) I didn't have the oomph to do Woolies too.  

Oh I could whip up a knitted python 🐍 jumper before xmas, after all it is just a tube...  That would put us in the pythons good books & make it much more amenable.   I'm sure the python would love to recline in a hammock strung between some ice block towers that would take no time to build.  That would spare it from the risk of slipping off the iceberg, as it has no pointy beak like a kiwi to act as an anchor while sleeping.  Between the mulled wine & clams (liberated from the walrus' stash) I'm sure the python will be more than content to marvel at the scenery & stars & will have no thought of dining on the kiwis & penguins.  What do you think about inviting Effie the elephant & her band to add some fun & give the blue whales something to sing along with?

Hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws and Croix,

It sounds like it’s really hit an early summer where you are Paws. I do hope it cools again soon and that those fires are under control too. It’s great you’ve been able to provide respite for the birds, including an amusing magpie. I can understand not wanting to stick around in big town in the hot weather. I hope it’s feeling more pleasant now it’s evening.

I went to my own version of big town today, the nearest one with a Centrelink. I have started to earn a small amount of money from some of my photo images so I wanted to find out the correct way of reporting this type of income. The woman there was very helpful and gave me the two forms I need. Those forms need to be completed every 3 months. It will only likely be very small amounts trickling in over time, but it all helps.

Oh that’s wonderful you can knit some jumpers for the pythons. It will certainly add to the festive atmosphere with them all dressed up. Hammocks, clams and mulled wine are wonderful incentives for pythons to enjoy the iceberg (and distract from dining on penguins and kiwis). But you have suggested the biggest incentive of all that will not only keep pythons entertained but bring hordes of penguins and kiwis to the iceberg - the fabulous Effie! Her cabaret act will go magnificently with the bar atmosphere. Effie does quite the stomp with her dance routine which will send reverberations through the iceberg, signalling to the blue whales to join in and bellow at full volume. Oh what a beautiful cacophony it will be!

Hugs,

ER

[Croix]

Dear Paws and ER

ER I'm delighted you are gettng some recompense for you images, while the money may be small the recognition that you strike a chord wiht others is a wonderful thing. I think there are very many people, me included, who gain pleasure from wildlife photos, it is a lift from every day life.

I love perky little birds, wrens, sparrows, white-eyes etc and love to watch them bounce or flit around the branches and ground. You can keep your eagles, vultures, hawks etc. they do not have quite the same appeal though I must admit a hawk sitting on a fence post alert for lunch is fascinating.

You mentioned Blue whales, now if htey were Blues Whales (like the Blues Brothers) I'd be quite in favor

The following may be appropriate

One afternoon police stopped a man walking along with a penguin on a string

"What have you got there?"

"A penguin officer"

"You can't have penguin on the street  - take it to the zoo"

The next day the police saw the same man with the same penguin on the same string

"I told you to take that penguin to the zoo!"

"I did and he loved it officer, so today I'm taking him to the movies"

🎶That's All Folks!🎶

Croix

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws and Croix,

Thank you Croix. I’m often doing photography anyway so I thought I would try some options for selling images. I started this process in September last year but have just received my first income as it’s through an agency and I get paid when sales go above a threshold. It’s something I’m doing very gradually within my capacity. When my health temporarily improved last December/January I was even planning to see if I could do real estate photography. I was training myself up in the skills I needed and even bought a new wide angle lens for real estate. I was so determined to not go onto DSP. Then I had another crash with my mental and physical health and realised I was overly idealistic as I’ve always been. I just couldn’t provide a reliable service with bouts of exhaustion and ill health. I haven’t completely let go of the idea of real estate photography, but my health needs to improve a lot more. I’m always working on healing and for now photography is a core part of that healing.

I love the birds too. Yes, the small ones are delightful little beings. Hawks etc are something different where delightful is not quite the right word - stealthy and powerful seem to be more apt. I was at my favourite ocean place late yesterday afternoon. An osprey was gliding along looking for prey. I’ve seen osprey catch fish there. It’s kind of awe-inspiring being in their presence. Thinking of little birds, a delightful one I’ve seen at that location is the Red-eared Firetail. They are a pretty little finch that look like they’ve been painted with their markings. I was so excited to see one. I got a photo but it wasn’t very sharp as I was so excited to see it I wasn’t holding the camera steady. The same thing happened to me when I saw a kiwi in NZ who was feeding on the forest floor right next to me.

Blues Whales sounds like a fabulous idea. There are many songs from the Blues Brothers that would be most appropriate. Shake a Tail Feather comes to mind which I think the kiwis and penguins could really relate to. The penguins will most likely be highly co-ordinated with their dance moves but I think the kiwis will topple a fair bit as they attempt to shake a tail feather. I loved your penguin joke 🐧😂

Paws, I hope the hot weather is finally cooling and all is ok where you are. Are you still getting messages to your phone about the fire? I hope it’s settling down.

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER & Croix,

ER I think it is wonderful you are getting paid for your photography.  How lovely to be able have your work appreciated by others & to know it has brightened someone's day.  Does the agency request particular subjects or is the choice of photo you send them entirely up to you?    

As much as I enjoy watching small birds, there is something about the larger birds of prey (just not vultures) that I find absorbing to watch, be they riding the thermal air currents or sitting on a post or tree, I could watch them for hours.  I would love to be able to hold one or do that holding food & having them fly to you & land on your fist.  Though I'm not tempted to try that with the pair of wild Wedge Tailed Eagles that nest nearby, somehow I don't think that would end well. 🤕

Today is finally cooler, but still... not so much humid as... stuffy... I think is a better word & warm.  Thankfully the fire remains contained, if not yet controlled.  I'm going to tempt fate & say my phone hasn't pinged once today.  I'm late doing it this year, but this morning I copied my files over to my portable hard drive & popped it in the side pocket of my handbag.

The blues Blue Whales will definitely help Effie get the party up & dancing.  I'm sure the joyful sounds will attract a number locals such as the seals, sea lions, albatross etc, it might be necessary to drag a neighbouring iceberg & anchor it alongside so there is room for everyone to hop & bop.  

Hugs

Paws

ps: Croix I love the penguin joke 👍🤣

[Croix]

Dear ER, wiht a wave to PAWS~

My I suggest that trying to commit yourself to a most demanding architectural based occupation may not be ideal for you. How often have you layed down with no time limit in natural surroundings and felt the healing, how often have you taken advantage of your camera when animal or bird-life  just happens to be present.

That is the healing. Your gift is special and sometime others might appreciate it, however you are doing it for you, not so someone can expect photos for a commercial operation.

For some there is always the temptation to be "worthwhile" and for many that means having employment, maybe even being self supporting

It can be a mirage, a false trail. Just reading your posts makes you worthwhile, as does  the way you endure and handle your afflictions.

My apologies if I seem to be butting in, it is only concern you might lose the best therapy you have.

Croix

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws and Croix,

Thank you kindly Croix for your kind words and concern re: my photographic interests. You are not butting in at all. My thoughts on realestate photography were that there is a lot of real estate growth in this area and it's actually more straight forward than a lot of other photographic jobs (e.g. wedding or portraiture). Wedding photography would be way too stressful for me and I feel a bit shy to be an effective portrait photographer. With real estate, there are two methods  - HDR merging of images for a good exposure of internal spaces or using off-camera flashes. I would do the former as I already have the gear for that but I don't have flash equipment.

But I do understand what you are saying. A friend of mine used to love photography. She did a diploma at TAFE in photography and then started up her own wedding and portrait photography business. But really her first love was photographing nature. Once it became her profession, she lost her passion for it. With me I have ongoing physical limitations on a daily basis. At the moment I am having to sleep for several hours in the day. The only way I could do real estate photography is if my body recovers significantly and I am consistently more well. So, yes, photography at the moment is definitely my therapy and healing. I don't want to lose the love of it. I really just need to focus on becoming well.

Paws, the agency I'm with allows the submission of any subjects. Some other agencies curate their collections and will not accept everything you upload. So I am free to contribute whatever I want providing it passes quality control. It is up to me to tag subjects effectively so they can be more easily found by clients. I've had images used so far by organisations such as a newspaper/media outlet and conservation agency. I love doing it. It's sort of like the lotto - you have no idea what may or may not sell. It is something I can do completely at my own pace and the more images you upload it becomes a source of passive income that sits there as potential. You need a very high volume of images to start seeing reasonable income.

Paws, there may be something like a raptor centre where you could get to hold a bird of prey on your arm. Here in WA there is such a place called Eagles Heritage. In 2011 I got to hold a Black Kite on my arm there. We learned all sorts of interesting facts about Black Kites and other birds of prey. Their eyesight is apparently incredible and we were told it is the equivalent of being able to read a newspaper headline kilometres away (if birds of prey could read of course!). They also need to be successful in one out of every seven hunts, otherwise they begin to become weak and may not survive. So it is no wonder they are so stealthy.

I'm glad you have the cooler weather and the fire is at least contained. I'm sure it's nice not to have a pinging phone with alerts. It is cool and wintery here this morning with rain going through at the moment. The rain is very welcome just in case we have another extra dry summer like last summer. This time last year it was dry from September all the way through to about the following June. I have a feeling it won't be so bad this year.

Yes, I believe our Christmas party is shaping up to be the highlight of 2024 in the southern ocean. If we need to anchor some more icebergs near Croix's iceberg to accommodate the influx, my team of stingrays will act as drinks carriers skimming swiftly between the icebergs. The dolphins are preparing their aerial display of spectacular flips and summersaults. Effie has offered to do some synchronised swimming, though I have a feeling this may not be as graceful and the dolphin's performance 😂

Have a lovely day Paws, Croix and anyone reading.

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

Being able to upload whatever images you like, sounds much better than having to meet a specific class of image.  I also like that you can do as much or as little as you want, it makes it sound much nicer & far less stressful than if you had to meet quotas.  

Your rain sounds wonderful.  I'm more than delighted for you to send some over here.  Sunday I had bands of soft misty, drizzly rain all day which was lovely, but I've no idea what Monday was like as I slept through it.  

Have you had your xray results yet?  It's ok if you don't want to say.

Don't be too doubtful about Effie's synchronised swimming, elephants are excellent swimmers & if she puts in the practice I think she could pull this off....  Luckily icebergs are 90% under water as it will mean cutting a ramp for her to get back on the iceberg after her performance, as I don't think she could climb directly up onto it....  As I spotted our walrus has "gone fishing" for two weeks, that gives us the perfect opportunity to nip down there & measure up for the party lights, the band stand etc, what a delightful surprise when we rock up all ready to go...

The satellite phone conversations between our kiwis are getting louder, they seem to be disagreeing over some of the finer points of the party.... as far as I can tell my kiwis have started fashioning snow shoes which they think will help with the dancing... a decision made after much imbibing of the test brew... your kiwis disagree & are refusing to wear them.... mine also seemed to be trying to convince yours of something else... but with all the hiccupping it was hard to tell just what...  they all wandered off for a nap after.

I hope you get a long enough break from the rain for you to get a walk in.

Hugs

Paws