Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws and nice to meet you Charliebrown,

Paws, I'm glad you are talking daily with your other sister. I think those chats can really help. I know it's busy with the organisation of the funeral at this time. It's good to be in touch with people. Much support to you all.

I heard more Quacking Frogs today. I've read it's the males who call and they will exactly mimic one another. So if one goes "quack" the other goes "quack". If one goes "quack quack quack" the other goes "quack quack quack". If they do a lot of quacks in a row they sound like a wicked witch laughing which is quite funny.

I walked in the late afternoon with my umbrella. The rain was on the torrential side but I loved it. I felt like I was in a tropical rainforest. The walking trail had become a flowing creek and I had to navigate my way via tiny bits of land on the edges. I walked down to where I was listening to a babbling brook a couple of days ago. The creek on the trail was now pouring down a steep part into the creek below creating a lovely waterfall. It was a magical world. Then as the rain system kept moving some golden light came through into the forest through some thinner cloud, illuminating the trees and vegetation with a beautiful glow.

Yes, baby rhinos are super cute! I've seen footage of them galumphing about playfully. Their rambunctious playfulness reminds me of baby wombats. I've twice got to hold a baby wombat in Tasmania. They are real little characters.

I hope you get some more rain and frogs soon. As I'm typing it has just started bucketing down again here.

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

Oh I'm jealous... being able to hold baby wombats!!!  How wonderful.  How did you get to do that?

Your walk through the rain sounds so energising.  I'm so glad you are feeling well enough to do walks like this.  It is a pity you don't have more arms as I'm sure there must have been some great photo opportunities & juggling an umbrella & a camera is a bit hard with just two.  Do you hear many types of frogs?   I keep meaning to record the frogs I hear on my phone & upload the calls to the citizen science frog ID group. It would also help me to identify them all.  I've seen quite a variety of frogs here, when I used to leave the door open for Woofa I often had frogs wander in.  The sizes have gone from the size of my fingernail to a couple of inches long. Trying to pick up the very small ones was hard.

I know I need to do far more exercise, actually I need to stop doing no exercise.  I have become so unfit that I couldn't do the lovely walks you do.  Reading about your outings does give me a mental kick up the butt to try & push me to do something, however I need to keep doing rather than sliding back to doing nothing almost straight after starting.

Your rains are due to reach here Thursday.  I would prefer them coming a day later as I hate driving in the rain, but we need the rain so much I won't grumble.

Stay snug & dry

hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws,

I got to hold the baby wombats on two different visits to a wildlife sanctuary in Tasmania. They are so lovely and go to sleep in your arms. Maybe you have a wildlife sanctuary near you Paws where you could cuddle one too. We don't have wombats around here but there are hairy-nosed wombats on the Nullarbor Plain.

There are quite a few kinds of frogs here. Apart from the Quacking Frog there is also the Motorbike Frog and Banjo Frog. The Motorbike Frog sounds like a motorbike revving and the Banjo Frog sounds like a banjo string being plucked. It is really quite funny when I think of all the quacking, motorbike revving and banjo plucking sounds. There is also the Moaning Frog too. I know there are more but I don't know all their names. The Quacking Frog I saw was about the size of a fingernail. The Motorbike Frog can have some quite pretty green patterning on it. Are the various frogs you've seen in different colours and patterns?

With the walks, I find it can help to just start slowly and do a small walk and gradually build up. I have periods of time where I haven't been able to walk due to fatigue/health issues but when I can again it feels like a new lease of life. I get curious as well and I'll think, what's around that corner or what birds will be here today? With photography it is a further incentive too and I become almost hyper focussed on the details around me. I feel like a wild hunter except I am only taking pictures. Today on a walk I saw a fascinating toadstool by the side of the track. It was tall and narrow in an oblong sort of way. It had a very shiny whitish surface that was also wet and was reflective because of it. So I could actually see the sky and the clouds reflected in it.

Take care on your drive on Thursday. I hope the rain might hold off or at least not be heavy. I will be thinking of you.

You stay snug and dry too. Did you know there is a town in Tasmania called Snug? I think that's such a lovely name for a town.

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

Thursday turned out to be dry & I only encountered some rain when I was about 20 minutes from home on the way back.  I say rain, but it was more a case of sporadic blathering against the windscreen, which on unlit country roads really makes it hard to see.  Unfortunately it stopped altogether a few hours later & there hasn't been any rain since.

I had a lovely surprise Thursday morning while I was having breakfast & watching the birds, I saw a deer in the neighbouring paddock.  I knew there were deer in the ranges, but I didn't think there were any in the foothills near me & it is the first time I've seen one since moving here.  I'm wondering if it ventured into the paddock because my neighbour has destocked due to the dry & there hasn't been any farm animals in it for some months.  

The frogs here have a variety of colours, sizes & calls.  The tiny fingernail size frogs are a lovely pale jade colour.  I would love to accurately identify which frog went with which call & be able to know what type they are.  I think I need a field guide to frogs like I have for birds.  

Being able to see the sky & clouds reflected on a toadstool sounds magical.  Was it something you were able to photograph?  I think it would make a great photo.

I didn't know there was a town called Snug, I agree that is a lovely name.  Having googled it, I think it looks lovely too.  Tasmania isn't that big, yet there seems to be lots of it I haven't seen despite visiting there twice.

Hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Paws,

I’m glad it was mostly clear for driving. I hope it was a supportive time being with family and saying goodbye to your sister. I know what you mean about just getting a bit of a smattering of rain that makes it hard to see. It sounds like you’ve really still had a lot of dryish weather. After our extremely dry and long summer we have had a fair bit of rain here. The amount of die-off in the vegetation that occurred is still evident to see, but the rain is promising for seeds that have fallen and for hopefully a good amount of recovery in the landscape.

What a lovely surprise to see a deer 🦌 I know they are an introduced animal but they are lovely creatures. It is a bit like when I see a fox. Although they are a feral species I always marvel at their beautiful bushy tail and refined features. I often wonder how certain animals get into paddocks. I imagine deer are good jumpers and I’m guessing that’s how kangaroos get into paddocks here. But I’ve always wondered about emus who I also often see in paddocks. Perhaps they can jump too or just pretend to be flightless birds but do so secretly when we’re not looking!

The pale jade colour of the tiny frogs sounds lovely. I wonder if your nearest local library would have some resources for identifying local frogs? I have seen photos of various South and Central American frogs who come in all sorts of bright colours including red, blue and yellow. I’ve always been fascinated by the cloud forests of Costa Rica and the things that live there.

I did not have my camera with me when I saw the toadstool. It was quite a unique shape. I love the way nature produces these ephemeral surprises. You never know what you will see on a walk.

Yes, Tassie has so much in it for a relatively small place. I’m used to the very long stretches of fairly straight road here in WA, so the right windy and often mountainous roads of Tasmania were a very different driving experience. I have been there twice now and I know there is so much I still haven’t seen. Wildlife seemed so close there, with wallabies, echidnas, wombats, possums etc all about the place. On my first visit with a friend we saw platypus at multiple locations, always at dusk. I thought we’d be lucky to see just one. One night we were driving back from one town to another. We had to drive so slowly because of the sheer number of marsupials of many varieties who crossed the road in front of us. There were various hoppy ones and I don’t know what they all were. We saw very small marsupial mice type things in forests too.

 I’m in a neighbouring town right now and about to go for a bit of a nature walk before doing some grocery shopping.

Take care and hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

The funeral went well with lots of tears & lots of hugs.  The support for my sister's girls by their cousins was touching, they were also wonderfully supportive of myself & my other sister.  I had a thumping headache after & it took me many hours to settle enough to sleep.  

I definitely don't get emus here, but I also wonder how they get into paddocks.  I love your notion that they fly when no-one is looking.  I have a soft spot for foxes too, when I had a fox cub wander into my house I did release it back outside, there was no way I could have harmed it, despite knowing they are a declared pest.  

I ended up googling frog field guides & found there are a few different ones.  Of course I have ordered one, I don't know why I didn't look before.

Tassie does have a lot of easily seen wildlife, during my first trip I saw a very large sea lion on the beach at Bicheno, every now & then it would wiggle in the sand like it was having a wonderful scratch, but generally just lolled about looking so relaxed & it was totally unbothered by our presence (yes we did keep our distance).  I must say sea lions have the most gorgeous eyes.

How did your walk go?  I hope you stayed dry.  

Hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Paws,

I'm glad the funeral went well and there was that support for your sister's girls, you and your other sister. I understand having the headache and unsettledness afterwards. Funerals are very emotional events and there can be a kind of emotional build up to go through the experience and then it can take a while to settle from that afterwards. I always get deeply affected at funerals, even ones I've been to where I didn't know the person very well. I hope for you and your other family members there can be some restful time now.

I had a look at whether emus can jump and found a number of people talking about them leaping over fences. One person who had a pet emu said that their emu was jumping 4 to 5 foot fences before fully grown. This person suggested a fence of at least 6 foot to prevent a pet emu from escaping! How lovely to see a fox cub. I would be totally the same and unable to harm it. Only two days ago I was chopping up some kale while making dinner. I discovered a little green caterpillar in it, well and truly still alive. I could not kill the tiny little thing so put it in my garden, even though it will probably be eating my plants now.

I'm glad you are getting a froggy field guide. Does it come with an audio recording of calls such as a CD? If not, you may be able to play some samples from the internet if your bandwidth allows. That way you might be able to confirm a sighting by matching it up with the call of that species as definite confirmation. Frogs are delightful.

And, yes, sea lions have those beautiful eyes. They, along with seals, remind me of dogs. They are very soulful. I visited Bicheno too where we saw the penguins come to shore. That is a lovely bit of coast.

My walk was really nice and I did stay dry. The air was so fresh and the ground quite muddy. Towards the end the air got quite cold. I still have a cough which worsened with the cold air. I've decided to go to the doctor tomorrow just to check it out as it's been there a long time so it is probably good to check it hasn't turned into a chest infection. The walk I was on is by a river and it is so nice to see the river flowing fast. Only in May it was stagnant and there were large areas of exposed ground in the middle of it. Some purple Hovea wildflowers are coming out.

I hope you get some more rain (except when you are driving) and some froggy visitors too.

Hugs and sleep well,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

I'm glad you are getting your cough checked out.  I hope your Dr sends you for a chest xray just to check what is causing your cough to linger, as there are so many possible causes.

Wow I'm surprised emus can jump that high, that is not something I thought they could do.  I would have put the caterpillar outside too, though probably in a place that the birds could see it.  The fox cub was so little & despite trying to sound ferocious when I picked it up in a towel, it was remarkably calm once I had hold of it.  I have a slightly blurry close up pic of it I took with my phone when it was still in my hand & I was even able to pat it, as I carried it out to put it under the bush nearest to where I had seen an adult fox previously.  

Penguins at Bicheno.... So that is another thing I missed out on seeing when I was in Tassie.  The list is growing fast.  I've never watched penguins coming ashore in real life, despite living in Vic which has a world famous penguin parade.  

Did you watch the Urban Birds of Aus on the ABC tonight?   It was Perth's turn & fascinating to learn that the black swan is the earliest of all the swan types, though a worry that they have no immunity to bird flu.  

Your seeing the river flowing again is wonderful news given how long things have been dry in WA.  Now we both need the spring rains to come through to help things along.  

hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws,

Yes, I was very surprised emus could jump that high too. I know they are fast runners so in my imagination I’m seeing one running at a fence full bore and launching over it! The fox cub sounds adorable. Foxes seem like somewhere in between a canine and a feline to me. There is something in how they are that’s a bit cat-like, while still being a bit dog or wolf-like.

When I was on Stewart Island in NZ I went down to the wharf after being told the Little Penguins (often called Blue Penguins or Little Blue Penguins there) come in at dusk. Some people were already there and you could see the adults out to sea and the chicks in a nearby cave, waiting for dinner. But I felt our presence was putting the adults off coming in as they seemed to be stalling out there, so I left the group of people at that point, hoping the penguins would soon come home to feed the eager chicks. At Bicheno it was an organised tourism event to watch them come in but very structured with strict instructions about what we were allowed and not allowed to do to minimise disturbance to the cute little beings coming in from the ocean.

I didn’t know about Urban Birds of Australia. I’ve hardly watched TV lately. I will try to watch it on iView. I know Perth wetlands very well and have spent many hours watching and photographing birds at those locations. I feel a deep connection with those places so I’m sure I’d enjoy seeing the program. Perth was a vast series of wetlands once, most of which were filled in as the city was developed, so the ones that remain are very important. The Perth CBD is actually built on what were several lakes. It is strange seeing the early plans for the city overlaid over those lakes. That’s so interesting about the black swan being the original swan. Yes, bird flu is a worry and I do hope native birds will be ok.

By the time I got to the doctor yesterday my cough had really settled. He couldn’t hear anything untoward listening to my breathing so didn’t order an x-ray. Then it came back this morning for a bit. Will see how I go in the next few days. I’ve just finished a cuppa and building up the energy for cleaning the bathroom. I know I always feel better after I’ve done it, so egging myself on to get into action.

It’s wet and windy here. I hope you may have some rain on the way but that you are staying cosy too.

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

I wonder if your cough might have an allergic response base cause to it, similar to an asthma response.  Victoria is prone to something called Thunderstorm Asthma occurring at certain times of the year when the storms coming through trigger widespread respiratory issues from coughs through to asthma attacks.  I wonder if the rains coming through after such a prolonged dry spell might be causing your cough.  It might explain why it seems to come & go, along with why the Dr couldn't hear anything.

It has been very warm here the last few days getting up to the low 20s, which given previously we weren't even getting double digits most days, is way too much of a jump.  I noticed when I went to get milk  yesterday, the cows with trees in their paddock were all seeking out the shade & I don't blame them.  

I had seen promos for Urban Birds of Australia on the ABC news channel, but as I've not been watching much tv I kept forgetting when it was on.  It was a pure fluke that I spotted it yesterday, as having satellite tv I was scrolling through the channels for each state & saw it was due to start in WA in about 10 or so minutes later.  

I'm surprised Stewart Island didn't have protocols in place for watching the penguins there, even if it were nothing more than a sign advising about behaviour near the colony.  Some of the beaches near to me are closed for a few months each year when there are Plovers nesting on the sands & that has been the case for decades now.  I guess I have just assumed most places have wildlife awareness restrictions as the norm.  

The jonquils are beginning to bloom here & I must get around to poisoning off the Arum Lilies which keep popping up all over my garden despite my best attempts.  The previous owners here clearly loved them despite them being declared a noxious weed & had some in most of the garden beds.  I can understand why they are a declared plant given how hard it is to be rid of them.  I also need to poison off the blackberries, another pest that keeps coming back thanks to the fact it is running rampart in places along the roads & in the forest & the wildlife love eating the berries & they spread it around.  

Stay dry

hugs

Paws