Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws and Croix,

Paws, I have read that the rodenticides that are called First Generation ones are the less harmful ones to wildlife if they get secondary poisoning from eating rats or mice. I’m guessing that’s the one you have and what I would get if I went down that path. An electrician did recently find some evidence of rodents nibbling on wires so I’m aware I may have to do something. My neighbour has a cat who catches mice, but then of course I worry about her getting secondary poisoning. So many dilemmas 🙈

It is good you are taking things quietly Paws. I hope it has felt cosy being quiet at home with the rain outside. There has been plenty of rain here and thunderstorm activity last night.

Speaking of rodents, there are some very cute native ones. There was an article two days ago on the ABC website about the Greater Stick-nest Rat on Reevesby Island in South Australia. They look incredibly cute from the photo. I googled them to see more images and they really are sweet, rotund little beings. I want to cuddle one ☺️

I hope you and Croix too and anyone else reading are keeping warm. I am wearing my beanie and polar fleece jacket over my PJs.

Take and warm hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

I saw that report on the ABC too, they are cute little critters.  

Yes I worry about the mice chewing on my wiring, which is why I bought the bait.  I just have to be brave & actually use it.  I can't block access into my roof because of the way the house was built means they can get in via the wall cavity spaces under the house.  I hate too think how hard & expensive it would be to try to seal the entire perimeter of the house from underneath, especially where the crawl space is only a few cm's high.  

It is actually clear & sunny here today & I'm hoping I get to see the Aurora if it occurs as expected tonight.  The one thing with the clear skies is how cold it will be at night this week.  The forecast for here is zero or lower. 

I've had the National Geographic pictures of wildlife interacting with photographers appearing on my facebook feed the last few days just out of nowhere.  Of course now I have looked at them I hope I will get more.  I love photos where the animals are completely relaxed around the human & indulging their curiosity or pinching the camera.

Stay warm

Hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws,

Yes, mouse-proofing a house can be tricky. I had a chunk of brick missing in a spot not easily visible. Hence rain got in and caused electrical damage requiring a section of wiring to be re-routed inside conduit on the outside of the building. It was during this investigation that the electrician found evidence of rodent nibbling.

I heard about the Aurora. It is fairly cloudy here with a possible thunderstorm forecast tonight and more cloud, rain and possible thunderstorm tomorrow. So I'm thinking it will be unlikely to spot it here. But if it continues to be clear where you are you may have a chance of seeing it. I hope you might see it 🤞 It does sound very cold Paws, so dress up warmly if you go out Aurora spotting. I was interested the time I went out here when it was last active. It was around midnight and lots of people were out with their blankets and picnic chairs. It was kind of nice, like a communal gathering to see awe-inspiring nature.

The National Geographic pictures sound lovely. I have a book somewhere that is a photography book from about the 80s I think. The photos were taken by a woman working with chimpanzees. There is a cute, young chimp holding and exploring the camera. There are some online videos of a man who plays piano for elephants. I know you can't play YouTube, but if you ever can in the future the videos are by Paul Barton. As my lateral brain got reminded of it, I have one playing at the moment entitled Bach on Piano for Blind Elephant. She is a lovely female elephant who is clearly enjoying and engaged with the piano playing. And now I'm watching another one called Calm Piano Relaxes Restless Bull Elephant. It seems to be working as he has sat down next to the piano. He seemed to just do a big yawn too. He looks happy 🙂🐘

Stay warm and hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

My sister passed away this morning.  Her family & my other sister were with her & I'm told it was very peaceful.

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Paws,

I am so sorry to hear about your sister but also so glad that she passed peacefully. I'm really glad you got to spend that recent time with her. Your presence and support would have been meaningful for her and also having the comfort of her family this morning. Take care and sending you a gentle, warm hug xx

[Croix]

Dear Paws~

I'd like to join ER in extending kind feelings to you now your sister has past and am glad it was peaceful.

I've found photos from the past can be hard to look at for a while, however now I can actually enjoy them. There was one in particular of my partner trying to keep a straight face while teasing other family members. Now I can grin about the scene

Croix

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER & Croix,

Thank you both for your kind thoughts, I truly do appreciate it.

It turned out the Aurora wasn't visible where I am, so I'm glad I only spent a short time outside looking for it given how cold it was.  

Back when I lived in Melbourne I saw some videos of people playing music to elephants at a rescue & rehab place.  The one that springs to mind was a chap playing Strauss waltzes & the elephants were swaying their heads in time to the music.  It was lovely how engaged they were.  I can understand why you like to watch them & yes I do miss having a good enough connection to see these things or watch docos.  I live in hope that one day they will upgrade the internet/phone services in my area rather than just talking about it happening at some unspecified future time.  

I hope you are both staying warm & dry

hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Hello dear Paws and Croix,

Paws, I hope you are going along ok. That night that the Aurora was thought to be likely I had a look outside at 11:45pm. There were thunderstorms about with lightning flashes but there was an area of clear sky to the south. However, I couldn't see anything definitively Aurora-like. I then looked up the Aurora forecast online and it said it was inactive. So I'm wondering if it didn't happen after all, or perhaps happened later in the night.

That would have been so lovely to see the videos with the elephants swaying to the music. I love elephants. I know they like to paint too and enjoy being given a paintbrush that they use their trunk to paint with. They are very intelligent and emotional beings. And baby elephants are just the epitome of cuteness.

Yes, it would be lovely if they upgraded the internet services. I do a lot of watching of YouTube and often use it to problem solve things, such as a house maintenance issue. There seems to be a video for almost everything. And of course I watch ones on photography all the time.

It has felt quite cold here in recent days though today a little less so. I imagine it is still colder where you are so I hope you are warm. Yesterday I walked to warm up. I walked through woodland to a new housing estate area. At the edge of this area was a mob of about 50 kangaroos. On my way back through the woodland I stopped to listen to a babbling brook. It is so nice to see and hear it after a long dry spell. The frogs were very vocal too. They are a type of frog known as a Quacking Frog as they sound like a duck but are very, very small and hard to see. I have only ever seen one once and it was hard to believe such a big noise could come out of something so tiny.

Take care and warm, gentle hugs,

ER

[Guest_9989]

It’s great to hear you’ve found some comfort in reading others' experiences. Finding a community that understands can be so reassuring.

"Being well" can mean different things to different people. For some, it’s about returning to how they felt before they got sick, while for others, it’s about finding a new normal or managing their expectations in a different way.

Your idea of being well is evolving, and that’s okay. It sounds like you’re making progress, even if it sometimes feels like a struggle. Your goal of believing in a better future and being able to manage daily life is important and valuable.

Keep being kind to yourself and remember that progress doesn’t always look the same every day. It’s about small steps and celebrating the victories, no matter how small they seem. You’re not alone, and your journey is valid.

Take care, and keep sharing when you feel up to it.

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER & Charliebrown,

ER I've never heard of the Quacking Frog, how gorgeous must they sound, I love quacking it is such a fun sound.  I do miss having the dam next door & the ducks that used to frequent it.  The frogs are still here, but they have been very quiet with the lack of rain, it was nice to hear them again when we had the good rain recently.

Elephants are beautiful creatures.  We humans could learn a thing or two from the way they care & support each other.  All baby mammals are cute & I do like baby elephants, but I think baby rhinos are utterly adorable.  

My sister's funeral is on Thursday.  I'm doing ok, my other sister & I are talking daily as things are being sorted out.  

Hugs

Paws