Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

I hope you had stress free journey to fluffy cat & a good nights sleep last night.

I often find the extra details that photos on high shutter speed can capture mesmerising, especially when they are things that are so easily missed in real time.  I like to browse wildlife photo competition entries online & always check out the photos that people submit to the BBC in their weekly theme topics.  I find it helps.

I didn't get to Lofoten in Norway, though I have a few jigsaws with it the image.  My first trip there I drove down from Tromso at the top to Oslo at the bottom & sadly no puffins, but my first morning I opened my curtains to come face to face with a reindeer which was a wonderful surprise.  Above the Artic circle reindeer roam free & have right of way on the roads, so in my first few days there were lots of being stopped by a reindeer that was very happily laying down on a warm road tarmac, completely unfazed by cars or people & definitely not in the mood to move.    The 2nd time I did a cruise on a small ship that could get into the narrow fjords & reach the townships that had no road access, the focus of the trip was the variety of scenery & how each was formed, as well as a history of Norway. The scenery was breathtaking on both trips & it was fascinating seeing the very small villages clinging to a small area of land surrounded by sheer mountains & learning how they managed to live in such remote places.

It is very chilly here today, with bands of squally showers crossing.

Pats to kitty & hugs for you

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws,

I did have a good journey yesterday and had a fluffy cat on me within minutes of arrival. Although she sheds more in the summer, she still does in winter. I bought one of those lint roller things so that is helping me to not be so covered in fluffy fur. It has been lovely connecting with her again.

I too love viewing the images from wildlife photography competitions. Some of them capture action with those fast shutter speeds in phenomenal detail. I find it very therapeutic to look at wildlife and landscape images and of course love being out there photographing them myself. You never quite know what you are going to see and how the light will be at those beautiful times around sunrise and sunset. I find, no matter what the conditions, there is always something of interest to photograph.

How wonderful to open your curtains to a reindeer! I once did that with a cow on the other side of the window but I think a reindeer would be a truly wondrous surprise. I feel like they can seem almost like mythical beings to us here in Australia that we hear about at Christmas, when they are in fact real! I love that they have right of way in the Arctic Circle. Those townships in the fjords sound amazing. I have wondered what it feels like living in such remote locations with limited ways in and out. It’s nice to know of places not reachable by road in a way, like it gives them some protection from the outside world and they have their own peace. I imagine a world of observing the weather and the change of seasons and living with those rhythms of the natural world. It would be very exposed up there with dark winters with minimal light and long summer days with almost endless light.

 Hope you have managed to keep warm in the chilly day. It can be quite atmospheric as squalls pass through and it can be nice being cosy inside when it’s wild outside. The other day a squally shower went through shortly after sunrise. The sun was out in the east while the dark clouds and rain were to the west. So it was like a full on sun shower with heavy rain. It looked very beautiful actually with the rain and dark clouds lit up by the sun.

It was cold here last night but bright and sunny all day, so not really like mid-winter. I was at a beach location at sunset and there were plenty of people in summery clothes, and people in the water swimming and surfing. I am now enjoying a cup of chamomile tea and planning an early night.

Thank you for the hugs and fluffy cat says “purr” which is thank you for the pats.

Hugs,

ER

[Croix]

Dear Paws and ER~

I'm sorry you missed the puffins, thay are an intriguing  bird. At one tme I used to visit  Penmaenmawr on the north coast of Wales near Conway. Apart from it's mountain with a funicular railway wiht two containers - one going up as the other came down with rock mined from the summit there was Puffin Island, which did indeed have puffins on it.

They are a fascinating bird, and when I was a lad there were only a few, but quite tame if you approached by boat. In flight it was hard to tell them from any other seabird, but on land they looked exactly as you would expect, walking upright, living in burrows and feeding their young with beak-fulls of small fish.

I could never work out how they could gather a fair number of fish, each hanging out the side of the beak without losing all the rest in the process

When the mines closed so did Penmaenmawr, relying on a meager tourist trade as did so many mining towns. Movies "The Full Monty" and "Brassed off" remind me of the plight of the  unemployed miners.

ER I'm glad you have fluffy cat back, you can practice you special 'cat talk' again:) and share a pillow of a morning. Sumo would not answer to such baby talk, being far below his dignity, he expects to be addressed by that friendly nick-name "Sir".

Photograhy had it's place there, my father, who was a keen photographer caught the Irish Mail (a well known steam train express) coming out of a tunnel. I still have the photo, - B&W of course - capturing power, speed and the then latest steam technology.

Croix

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER & Croix,

I missed out on seeing the Puffins in Wales as well.  Thinking about it, at the time of year I travelled it was probably past the breeding season in both countries, so unlikely there would have been any ashore too see.  

The effects of the closure of the mines in Wales, Scotland & North England was something that was very evident during my travels.  So many towns had no other source of employment & there was no effort by the government to try & develop new forms of industry when they closed.  As you say Croix tourism wasn't really something that was part of the narrative in those areas.  There were similar problems in the fishing towns as the size of the fleets were curtailed.  

ER with Woofa it was called "Dane Glitter" not fur, I'm sure Fluffy Cat has a similar name for hers & also expects you to wear it with pride.  

The remote villages in the fjords were often at most only 5 or 6 houses & they reminded me very much of the isolated cattle stations in our outback with how they had to plan everything around their few trips to a town to get supplies & how everyone considered the people in the next fjord their neighbour despite the distance between them.  Though no one here has to manage being isolated by a fjord freezing solid for many months.  It was over 40 years ago &  I do wonder how much things have changed.  Back then the people in the villages & the supply town were often related or close friends & so if needed the town folk would put up anyone from the villages needing to stay for whatever reason (such as medical appointments).  That is one thing I miss not travelling any more, the getting to meet & learn from the locals about their way of life.  Though I guess travelling these days would lack chances for that small scale, more local, friendly type of interaction.

Croix how wonderful your father capturing that shot, especially as photography was so much harder then.  We all remember waiting weeks with baited breath for our photos to be developed & returned, keeping everything crossed they worked out well.  He must have been delighted to have that "one chance" shot  work out so well.  I know my dad would have been envious of your dad seeing that train at its peak.

Hugs to you both & pats for the furs + his excellency Sumo Cat

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws and Croix,

Puffins are such magical looking birds, sort of reminiscent of a penguin but not quite a penguin. I am glad you got to see them Croix. I have seen photos of them with all those small fish in their beak. I love those Welsh names for places such as Penmaenmawr. It is such a unique language Welsh and I’m glad it has survived and is still spoken. It would have been spoken by my great grandparents. My great grandmother worked down the coal mines as many women did. It was very tough what people went through when so many lost their jobs as depicted in The Full Monty and Brassed Off. The town of Collie here in WA is now facing that transition with the coal mining to come to an end, I think by 2030. So plans are in the pipeline for the transition including diversifying into some new industries. So it sounds like it will be a better transition. Collie has such a completely different feel to any other town I’ve been to in WA. It feels like a coal mining town, if that makes any sense, and feels quite different to the many other mining towns we have here in WA. It has its own distinct character.

Ah, yes, I can imagine Sumo not being impressed with baby talk. To be honest, I’m not sure if fluffy cat is either, but is thinking this is what I have to put up with in order to get pats. Paws, I love the term “Dane Glitter”. Fluffy cat has informed me the correct terminology here is “Velvet Fluff”. She is indeed very soft.

Paws, it’s lovely that the townsfolk in Norway took in the remote villagers when they needed a place stay. It would be interesting to know how things are there now. I imagine everyone is more connected through technology than before. I just looked it up now and read that the government has put many broadband towers across mountains, so it sounds like internet access is widespread.

Croix, I would love to see the photo your Dad took of the train coming out of the tunnel. Trains make wonderful photographic subjects, especially steam trains. I imagine it looks really effective in black and white. I sometimes convert my colour images into black and white as I think it sometimes suits the subject better.

It is getting light outside here as I listen to the sound of peak hour traffic and a wattle bird outside. I hope you both, and anyone reading, have a lovely day.

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER & Croix,

I think "Velvet Fluff" captures the elegance that it would add to your clothes, food & everywhere else it manages to get into.

I also have ancestors that worked in the mines, mostly in Pontypool in Monmouthshire.  It was something that everyone in the family was involved in whether going down the mine or working on the surface carting the ores.  I've been doing my family tree for decades now & as most are "working class" it was fairly common for the women & children to be working & even when the women married she still worked.  It is something I always think of when some commentator talks about women today working & running a home as if it is something new to todays generations.  

My sister took a turn for the worst last weekend & has been in the palliative care unit all week.  The tumors in her brain are causing mobility & cognitive issues.  She wants to go home & at the start of this week they were looking at what aids could be added to deal with her mobility issues, but with her confusion worsening daily we are now discussing the fact she may not be able to go home at all.  She remains convinced she is going home "today" regardless.  

I see WA looks like it will be getting a good run of decent rain.  Good weather to be curled up with fluffy cat & either a good book or viewing photos online.

Stay dry

Hugs

Paws

[Croix]

Dear Paws and ER~

I'm sorry to hear your sister has reached that stage. It is really distressing when the person you have known all your life starts to have less connotative power and becomes confused.

When my partner's mental faculties faded at the end of a long illness and could no longer do simple tasks she's done every day I felt a whole stack of emotions, I guess the strongest was feeling for her and how she would have felt if she had realised.

No rain today, the sky was blue and the sun shining brightly, however a freezing wind coming down from the highlands and made outside the house distinctly unpleasant, we nearly had a snap-frozen dog when Foxy ventured outside (a quick change of mind and back inside again)

Pontypool is the other end of Wales from where my grandparents lived and the mining was mainly granite and slate, not so much coal. They did not go down the mines, my grandfather (Tide) worked with the railway and had the world's largest tea mug. Nain (my grandmother) spent her time at home or visiting numerous 'aunties' (plus trying to keep me in order:)

Croix

[quirkywords]

Paws 

I follow this post but don’t comment. I admire your honesty that helps others by not making them feel alone. 
My mum had dementia for ten years and tit was stressful , sad for me and frustrating for her. 
Look after yourself. 

[Eagle Ray]

Hello dear Paws and Croix,

Paws, I feel so much for your sister and you and your family at this time. It is very hard when she wants to go home. 6 months before my Dad died he had to go into hospital because his dyskinesias from Parkinson’s got so bad. I remember after a few days he’d packed his bag and adamantly stated he was coming home. He really wanted to be home for Christmas. It was really hard telling him he had to stay while they changed his meds. He did get to come home after a few weeks. I found the best I could do was just be with him and keep him company. I went with him for walks in the hospital grounds as he could get about with his walker. I think just having someone there is so helpful as it supports them and can lift their spirits, even just a little. Those are important memories for me now, just accompanying my Dad. Sending much support to your sister and you too at this really hard time.

People worked so hard in industrial Britain. It’s where the Industrial Revolution started and while that brought certain benefits it also brought the pitfalls of hard working conditions and people living in the growing cities and towns with all the issues that created. People lived shorter lives and from what I’ve read were often malnourished too. I remember reading that many miners only saw daylight on Sunday as every other day it was dark when they went down the mine and when they came out too.

Paws, I had a look where Pontypool is. My Welsh relatives came from Swansea, so not too far from there. And Croix, if I remember correctly, your grandparent’s place was in the vicinity of the South Stack Lighthouse? So way to the north west? I would to love to travel through Wales and Scotland. They appeal to me more than England because they are less densely populated and so there are more of those wild places with space around. Croix, I am imagining your grandfather’s giant mug.

It has been wet here today. I did have extended pats and cuddles with fluffy cat this morning during which I told her she is a “special fluffy wuffy muffin wuffin”. It was very peaceful. But I did eventually extricate myself from the fluffy one and went into the city. I did some street photography with my camera trying to capture images in the rain, using reflections from puddles, that sort of thing. I managed to keep going longer than I expected and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Right now the wind is howling and there is apparently the chance of a thunderstorm and small hail. I hope you are both keeping warm. That freezing wind sounds intense Croix.

Take care and sleep well.

Hugs,

ER

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Quirky, just seeing your post now as you posted while I was typing mine. I’m sorry that you and your Mum had that challenging ten years. It really is hard isn’t it. Thank you for sharing your kind words and support as you so often do.