Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Eagle Ray]

Good evening Croix, Paws and All (or morning where you are now),

That creates such a peaceful picture, Sumo by the wood fire on his plush blanket. A friend today sent me a photo of her two cats snuggled together asleep on a blanket. I love how puppies all sleep in a great big puppy pile on top of one another. Animals are good at knowing ways to stay warm.

The possums have just been galumphing on my roof too. It was so noisy for a moment I thought they might have gotten inside and were in my kitchen as it almost sounded like things were being knocked off the kitchen bench. But I went and checked and all looks normal in there.

Ah, yes, albatrosses do have that sort of stern, disapproving look. The overhead filming could go awry if they decided to do something disagreeable. Also, they only like to fly when it's windy when they can glide (I was actually told this by someone in NZ). This could mean only filming when it's windy thus increasing the chance of a kiwi not being intercepted in time by a night heron and tumbling off the iceberg. Though that could add comic effect. But then I would need to deploy my team of stingrays to pick up and rescue the inebriated kiwis. They will look to be in a rather sad and sorry state once sodden as well as inebriated! Many complications indeed!

It is really chilly here tonight. I have my warm jacket with a hoody pulled over my head. I hope you both are cosy and warm. I look forward to my cosy bed shortly.

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER & Croix,

Lass I'm so glad your pain levels are easing.  I will keep everything crossed that you will be pain free soon.  

I am possum free here.  The only hobnail booted tap dancers on my roof are the larger local birds, so my nights are peaceful.  I had possums where I used to live, they loved my neighbours back yard orchard & the old trees in the park behind my place had lots of good nest sites.  There was also a possum nest in an old tree in my yard. My big brave* (*not) Woofa was terrified of possums after being bailed up by a protective possum mum as a puppy. 

There may be a delay with the giraffes arriving as they are insisting that, as they can't swim, they must have motorised life jackets to help them get to shore if they should slip off the whale.  I'm finding that designing a life jacket to suit their long necks is more than a little tricky.  We may also have a  problem with our cinema & tourist icebergs as I'm hearing from the penguins that a certain Walrus has been considering invoking his territorial water boundaries preventing us from anchoring within view of his iceberg.  

I do have a wood fire, but use my reverse cycle more.  I love the heat from the fire, but only use it when I need to heat my place for the full day as it takes so long to heat up enough.  

Stay warm

Hugs

Paws

[quirkywords]

we have possums everywhere/ On verandah on roof having parties outside anbd scaring me with night noises.

[Croix]

Dear All~

If you plan on importing giraffes over the salty sea and they get wet you might need to have a very tall bath with warm water and an industrial sized hair dryer so they can clean up after their voyage!

Now that idea of territorial waters - hmm ...

Croix

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws, Quirky and Croix,

I can see the infrastructure for this film venture is going to extend our budget enormously. I’ll ask Professor Porpoise if he can assist in the design of the motorised life jackets. Installing the giant 4-5 metre high baths will create a scene akin to mini skyscrapers on Croix’s iceberg. The kiwis will go clunk as they roll about the iceberg and hit the new objects that weren’t there before. The industrial strength hair drier will not only dry the giraffes but will blow dry the kiwis’ feathers in such a way that they look like the hairdo of Robert Smith from The Cure. This will truly be theatre of the absurd!

Quirky, your possums sound like true party revellers! Mine were galloping over the roof earlier. I’ve discovered they’ve made something of a mess in my back shed the other day that I will need to clean up 🙈

Paws, the people who lived here before me told me of having a pot of soup on top of their wood fire that they would have on throughout the day when it was cold. I’ve only lit the fire in the late afternoon and then had it on for the evening. I like those gentle crackling noises it makes as it winds down. I hope your foot warmer has been doing a good job. It is warmer here tonight than the previous night.

I’ve woken in the early hours with one of my bouts of anxiety that haven’t happened in the middle of the night for a while. It helps to chat about iceberg adventures. I might be able to get back to sleep soon. It’s about twenty past four here now. I’ll find a podcast to listen to which usually sends me to sleep 😴 

I hope you all have a great day ahead!

Hugs,

ER

[Croix]

Dear ER, Paws and Quirky~

Nah, they will look like nice neat spherical puff-balls with two feet and a beak sticking out, Mr Smith's hairdo was much too wild. One foot is of course clutching a bottle and the beak is suitable occupied.

Talking of theater of the absurd my favorite is 'Waiting for Godot' (umpteen interpretations on YouTube)

A podcast to send you to sleep sounds like a good idea, though I think I'd become interested and keep awake:( I know I cna't use hear-a-book for htat reason). One of the best things for me is a sound loop of wind and rain outside, which reminds me of being tucked up snug as a kid in Wales.

What sort do you listen to?

Croix

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Croix, Paws and Quirky,

Croix, it is funny you mention the sound loop of wind and rain as the two sounds outside right now are wind and rain. Yes, it is a cosy, snug feeling to be tucked up with that sound. I'm sure there is significant rainfall in Wales. I have a rainforest sounds cd somewhere and at one point there are gentle, distant thunder sounds on it as well as steady but gentle rain, which I also find restful.

The podcast I listened to early this morning was a wildlife photography podcast I often listen to, simply called The Wildlife Photography Podcast with Rob Read and Josh Galicki. They are two really nice guys and it is just nice to hear them discuss wildlife photography. Another favourite at the moment is a mental health one called The Wellbeing Lab with Will Young. It has covered multiple topics of interest to me now. I got so much out of the ones on grief, complex ptsd and co-dependency. It's very gentle the way it deals with these topics. I tend to pick something more like the wildlife photography one at night. If I want to hear it properly I listen while making dinner or doing the dishes so I don't fall asleep, but if I put it on when in bed I usually do go to sleep. This morning it didn't work though. I remained awake and listened to it all. I listen to many other podcasts on all sorts of topics, but a lot are to do with photography or mental health. Another great one out there I can recommend for anyone reading this who is experiencing challenges in perimenopause or menopause is The Dr Louise Newson Podcast. It has been outstanding in helping me. Podcasts have been like a lifeline for me. I could mention many more but this is already a giant paragraph.

I realised the two things bothering me this morning. One was two challenging sets of boundary issues I have to manage with people in the next week or so which tend to cause me anxiety. The other is being told yesterday the approval of the medication I'm on for the liver condition I have is being revoked due to a recommendation for more clinical trials. This worried me a lot because it has transformed me from being bedridden with fatigue and severe cognitive symptoms to being able to function again. But after some more searching this morning I found this is only happening in Europe and also those already on the medication will not be stopped from being prescribed it. So that was a great relief, though I feel very sorry for people in Europe who won't be able to access it who would benefit.

I love the idea of spherical puff-balls with two feet and a beak sticking out. That is incredibly cute (apart from the digestive noises emanating from the kiwis). One day I will go and see Waiting for Godot or I can just watch it on YouTube. I do remember seeing some absurdist type theatre we were taken to in high school. It was called Salome. I'm not sure if it was the one by Oscar Wilde but if it was it was a very absurdist version. One of my classmates kept laughing uproariously at the absurdity which may not have been considered appropriate theatre etiquette by some of the other theatre goers 😂

I hope you are all having a lovely evening. I really must go to bed as I am feeling the impact of last night's lack of sleep. I had a lovely catch up this morning with an elderly neighbour who I took to have coffee at a cafe in a forest setting. It was very lovely and neither of us really wanted to go home. There were fairy wrens hopping all over the decking.

Take care all and warm hugs 🤗

ER

[Croix]

Dear ER and All~

I'm glad your medication is not going to be restricted. I face a similar problem with one of mine - why do the rules change?

I think inebriated kiwis must have excellent balance if they are clutching a bottle with one foot and only balancing on the other. When the hick-ups start it should be quite entertaining:)

I wrote about being snug here:

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/store-your-happy-memories-here/m-p/265391/highlight...

One of my favorite childhood memories.

I think that although you may be apprehensive you have managed similar boundary issues before. You are a very self-aware person and may well be able to feel when matters approach the stage where you do have to control the situation.

Good luck with it (and you are right, guffaws are realy only suitable for music halls 🙂

Croix

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER, Croix & Quirky,

Croix I love reading your posts in the memories thread. Even though my childhood was very different, they do resonate with me, possibly as most of the children's books I read when little were set in the UK.  

I think puff ball kiwis will be a major hit, with the visiting tourists vying to get the best vantage point to watch them rolling about.  We will need to ensure the tourists keep a safe distance as we don't want them becoming inebriated themselves from the kiwis burps.

ER I'm so pleased for you that your meds aren't being restricted, especially when they have been so life changing for you.  

I've noticed so many people on the forums who find listening to podcasts helpful.  The variety of podcasts & when/how they are listened to seems to be never ending to me.  I don't have the bandwidth to listen myself & I wonder if they have transcripts available anywhere?  

How sweet of you to take your elderly neighbour for a coffee.  I love the image of the wrens hopping about everywhere.

hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws, Croix and Quirky,

Croix, I just read your memory of being at your grandparent’s place, devouring the rice pudding and getting into bed where you were snug with the wild weather outside. It is so beautifully written and really created the feeling for me of what it felt like being there. I am still in bed here now and it’s still dark outside and it’s similar in that a windy rainstorm has just passed over with flashes of lightning in it. 

I hope that your medication can continue. With mine the revoking of it in Europe is apparently because they now think there should have been more clinical trials with placebo control subjects. This may be because there have been reports of adverse outcomes for some people. But for people like myself it’s caused no side effects and greatly improved things.

Paws, I agree the kiwi puff balls will be a hit. The one glitch may be when their beaks get stuck in the ice but the herons are getting quite good at pulling them out now. When stuck, their little legs sticking out of the puff ball wave about in the air as they try to figure out why they are not rolling anywhere and seem to remain stuck. Once rolling again, their spherical shape, thanks to the industrial strength hairdryer, facilitates rolling very nicely.

Paws, some podcasts do have transcripts. They are often available on multiple platforms such as Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Acast and directly from the podcaster’s website. If you scroll down you may find a transcript underneath. However, some of my favourites, such as The Wellbeing Lab With Will Young, don’t seem to have a transcript from what I can see. In some cases there is the option of downloading the podcast as well as streaming it. The amount of data that uses may vary but it’s apparently less than streaming the podcast. If you only have a small data plan for the internet it may be an issue, but with enough data it may be ok to download it and you have it on your device to listen to. With regard to transcripts, some podcasts provide contact info so you could always ask them if there’s a way to get a transcript if it doesn’t seem to be initially available.

Yes, the wrens were lovely. They amaze me how they move. They hop along the ground and when they fly they sort of rapidly glide. Seeing them go from one plant to another they seem like a magical fairy kind of glide hovering rather a bird flapping wings, if that makes sense?! Perhaps that is where the term “fairy wren” came from?

It’s just starting to get light here outside. I hope everyone has a good day. 

Hugs,

ER