Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER,

You can never talk to much about dogs to me.  I have to watch myself or else I risk boring everyone else silly with this topic.  Dogs are very adaptable to their owners physical abilities, especially once past the puppy stage.  Many breeds are happy to be couch potatoes if there are periods of time they can't be walked.  As he aged Woofa was happiest just lounging about, even with an open door so he had continual access outside, watching the world through the window was his go to.   Because I have mobility issues I have a 10 metre tracking lead, so I could take Woofa somewhere to explore & sniff while I sat or walked very slowly.  15 minutes sniffing somewhere different is as good as a long walk as it uses their brain & tires them that way.  Plus when he was younger he had the yard to do zoomies in or sniff about.

Today's forecast rain stayed to the south of me, so I actually had sunshine coming in through the windows, which warmed the house up very nicely.  It started to drop back as soon as the sun disappeared & I've just put the heating on.  The forecast for overnight this week is for 0 degrees or colder, but the sunny days should warm to around 12 which is nice.

With your talking of doing your washing you motivated me today to get a load of washing done & hung out today.  Whoo hoo!!!

I hope you get the much needed rain.  Stay warm.

Hugs

Paws

[Croix]

I heard that! 😒

"Perhaps we can send a bunch of them to Croix’s iceberg?"

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws and Croix,

Yes, Croix, heh heh heh, there is now a team of Nankeen Night Herons rolling kiwis backwards from the edge of the iceberg. I have deployed a drone to view the scene from above. As kiwis are rolling and tumbling across the ice it creates very artistic patterns that I am capturing for an avant-garde film project I am working on. I plan to enter it into some experimental film categories at upcoming film festivals. Occasionally a kiwi’s beak gets stuck in the ice when they roll onto their front. It takes two night herons to pull the kiwi out of the ice. I’ve added in some penguins whose purposeful waddling provides a counterpoint to the random kiwi rolling. It is a fascinating natural phenomenon to behold. I open you are enjoying the spectacle from your igloo!

Paws, thank you for the info about the things you did with Woofa, such as having the long lead. I did find ways to exercise the two English Staffies I lived with and looked after when my landlords went away. I was quite fatigued and unwell at this time as I was developing the liver disease but was not yet diagnosed. I had one of those ball throwing things. It was easy because there was a park across the road and I could just walk across the road and throw the ball for them and they brought it back. They loved, loved, loved doing this! Their enthusiasm level was off the scale and it was very easy to give them lots of exercise even if I couldn’t move nearly as much myself. We did also have 3 way tug-of-war games. I feel like this helped keep my muscles strong 💪 Staffies are very strong, robust dogs who just throw themselves into everything. We also had a chasey game with a tennis ball, though I couldn’t run as much as them. Whoever had the ball had to try to keep it off the others. Even after I bailed out from exhaustion the two dogs could keep going for an hour or so. It always ended in the tennis ball being chewed to pieces 😂 Basically, anything you give a staffy is sacrificial and won’t last long, with the exception of the specially made “staffy ball” which is designed so they can’t destroy it. They had one of these and they loved it too. They were obsessed with the endless pursuit of trying to destroy it but not being able to 🤣

I only have a small backyard with a small area of grass. I am very conscious of the fact this won’t suit some dogs who really need more space to run around in. But for smaller dogs or lower energy dogs I think it would be ok. I am only a 5 minute drive from a beach area for dogs and there is some parkland I can walk to easily. The strata rules have changed to allow pets here too. I just have to reflect on the commitment of having a dog. The other option for me is to become a more frequent pet sitter and move about a bit to different places.

I hope you (and Croix too) have been keeping warm. The sunshine coming in through your window yesterday sounds lovely. We had good rain and strong wind here last night. Just before bed I felt like eating mandarins from my tree. So I waited for a gap between squally rain showers to dash out to pluck a few from the tree. It was kind of exhilarating in the wild wind.

Hope you’re both having a lovely day today.

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER, wave to Croix,

Oh your avant-garde film sounds wonderful.  I'm thinking a few of the passing whales could add the perfect sound track.  I'm sure they would happily oblige now they have started a regular taxi service to Croix's iceberg for stray penguins & kiwis.  The whales have also kindly agreed to carry the little heated sentry huts I have just knocked up for the Herons to stop their little toes from freezing.  We may need to ask one or two to help move another iceberg or two nearer to Croix's berg as I'm sure we will need to set up tourist igloos after your film premiers.

May I say thank you for putting so much thought into getting a pet & sharing those thoughts.  It is one thing I am passionate about.  I feel the more we talk about how important it is to learn about the needs of any type of pet & how our lifestyle is an important consideration in making any choice, then hopefully more people will avoid making poor choices based on fashion trends or simple ignorance.  I'm very aware many people read the forums without ever posting & when we talk about how having a pet can be a benefit to our mental health, I always want to make sure it is clear that it needs to be a well thought out choice whatever the pet.  

I don't know why, but reading about your dash to the mandarin tree, I suddenly had David Attenborough's voice in my head narrating your adventure into the wilds of your yard through the storms.  It is amazing how his voice can make things seem even more intense.  Is your mandarin tree in the ground or in a pot?  I ask as I'm thinking of getting a lemon tree & putting it in a pot, but I'm tossing up how well it might do.

Hugs

Paws

[Croix]

Dear ER and Paws~

I do not know how I would get on wihtout at least one pet (currently hte large and dignified Sumo Cat and the 2-speed Foxy Dog). They turn a house into a home and provide relaxation and love. 

I do agree that choice of pet can be vital, unfortunately hard as I get ours from animal rescue and they tend to give a sheet wiht the pet's temperament and characteristics, which is hopeful rather  than accurate. They do allow a return policy, but no refund, which is expensive. Been lucky so far.

They all have their unique characters and one is expected to understand both canine and feline languages, sometimes rather hard to fathom. "Snack?" seems to feature predominantly in both as does "Now!".

You two mischief makers have completely overturned my nice quiet clam-eating life on my iceberg. With penguins sliding down my igloo and hurtling into the water with a SPLOSH!, inebriated kiwis traveling by whale, now Herons in hutches and the prospect of tourists - humph. I suppose oyu will want a movie-theater next to show your film. Even David Rabbitborough would be speachless

Croix

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Paws and wave to Croix,

Ah, yes, the whale taxi service is in full swing. The Blue Whales have decided to start up a rival service called Uber Whale (because they are so big!). It is all getting quite hectic actually with whales crisscrossing all over the place. That is wonderful about the heated sentry huts! It is a good thing they are Night Herons as it as at night that the kiwis are most likely to accidentally roll themselves into the sea. So the herons will be nice and alert at that time. And how exciting about the tourist igloos! We can advertise that they can observe a walrus in his natural habitat amidst the artistic movements on the iceberg. Hopefully the fact that he is covering his eyes with his flippers because of all the rolling kiwis and waddling penguins making him feel giddy will not put the tourists off. They may see it as part of an experimental theatre piece.

I have thought a lot about wanting to be the best pet parent should I become one. I really want it to be the right decision. The lovely staff boy I had fallen in love with has been adopted as I expected he would. I think it is important, if I adopt a dog, that the dog is really the right fit for me and me for the dog. I have thought about cats too. I have always been most naturally a dog person and have lived with dogs much more than cats. However, from several housesitting stints with cats I have really got to like them too. But I have a feeling a dog may still be the best option for me. Dogs are quite unique in their relationship with humans as they have co-evolved with us over a vast period of time. Cats are still really just one step away from the wild and have not co-evolved with us to the same extent. For that reason dogs feel like a very natural companion for me and I imagine I am looking for a companion to do things with and share experiences with. A cat doesn't do that to quite the same extent, but they can still be lovely companions at home.

I've had sort of good new re: the upper right abdominal pain. It is not gallstones but is most likely a gallbladder polyp that I already knew was there. The doctor said that polyps can flop about at times and cause the same symptoms as gallstones. They can still lead to a decision to remove the gallbladder if they start to cause too much trouble, but it is a case of waiting to see how things go at the moment. I have read that the gallbladder polyps have been known to disappear in some people and that they, as well as gallstones, can also be related to stress. Mine was first detected after several years of relentless stress. So I imagine de-stressing and having a peaceful life may help it go away 🤞

Ah, yes, I can now hear the David Attenborough voice - "Eagle Ray now tentatively steps into the windy night and approaches the swaying mandarin tree. Several feisty possums must be dodged in order to safely pluck a mandarin. She creeps forward slowly before making a sudden dash to grab a bunch off the tree, causing multiple rain droplets to fall from the leaves onto her head, then furtively retreats to the back porch. Clutching the prized fruit, she fumbles with the sliding door before finally managing to open it, closes it and gasps a sigh of relief, knowing she has escaped the wrath of wild possums and the next squally downpour".

My mandarin tree is growing in the ground. However, I know of people who have successfully grown them in a largish pot. So I do think it is very possible to do it that way. My mandarin, lemon and orange trees all hang over my neighbour's fence. I have said to her to take as much fruit as she wants as there is plenty of fruit on her side. I am pleased that she has picked some of it. Then yesterday I found a gift of a jar of homemade marmalade on my front porch with a note saying she had made it from my oranges. That was so lovely! I have tasted it and it is very yummy on toast!

I do really hope you are keeping warm. I saw photos of a frozen lake in the Central Highlands of Tasmania today. It truly has been cold in eastern Australia.

Warm hugs,

ER

[Eagle Ray]

Hello again Croix and Paws,

Just seeing your message now Croix which came as I was typing mine. I would most likely be getting a rescue pet too and aware that the description from the rescue place will be an approximation at best. I imagine once you have a pet of your own it is hard to imagine life without one.

Croix, you have just given me another idea - a David Attenborough documentary on the happenings of the iceberg! Hmmm, much thought and planning to do there 🤔 I am sure Sir David would be mesmerised at the natural (or at times not so natural) wonders that occur on and around the iceberg!

Hugs,

ER

[Paw Prints]

Hello ER & Croix, wave to everyone reading along,

It is just as well David was narrating the "Great Mandarin Excursion",  because until hearing the full story I was unaware that ER also had to outwit the perils of possessive possums whilst trying to recover some mandarins from the wilds.  I had only heard the first part where by venturing out into the wild winds she risked being swept away like Dorothy to Oz.

Oh lass, whilst it is good to know the polyp can self resolve, that doesn't solve the more current issue which is the pain you are in.  I hope the Dr has given you some possible interim solutions to that.

Homemade jams are yummy, how kind of your neighbour to give you a jar.  At my old place I had a large lemon tree by the side fence & like you I had told that neighbour to help themselves.  Even with freezing the juice into cubes for later use the tree still had more lemons than I could ever use.  I remember helping to make plum jam with mum as a little one, from a plum tree growing wild in the park behind our house.  

Croix you are right that with getting a pet from rescue it can be a guess as to individual temperament, especially as many are of mixed breed.  However most reputable rescues will get details about what a person's lifestyle etc are & then try to match the pet that will best suit them.  What I worry about is people getting a particular type of dog because a celebrity has one or they saw it on the tv or movie or it is trending online.  The other issue is people thinking a puppy is cute, but not having the time or inclination to train/socialise or any idea how big it will get.  It is something I really first became aware of in the 70s when one of the rescue dogs we fostered was an Irish Setter, the owners had got it because Irish Setters (along with Afghans) were trendy, but they just shut it in a small courtyard when the cute puppy stopped being cute.

Hmmm I'm wondering ER, will you be using a flock of Albatrosses to get your overhead shots for your documentary or should I book some carrying space on a whale in order to bring some Giraffes?  I'm thinking Croix's idea about a theatre has merit.  We could use his discarded clam shells to not only sound proof it, but the larger shells could be padded & used as seating.

Stay warm

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Hello dear Paws, Croix and All,

Yes, I have possums to contend with at night and parrots in the day when it comes to the mandarin tree. Not long after I moved here I was on a ladder picking some oranges. A small brown bird (still don't know what species) perched extremely close to me and squawked loudly and aggressively, very much seeming to say, those are my oranges, back off! So it is truly a jungle out there in my backyard.

My pain levels have dropped significantly so I think it is a case of managing things with care, including what I eat and minimising stress, and if I'm lucky the gallbladder polyp may even disappear which they have been known to do in some people apparently. Although gallbladder surgery is a very common operation, because my liver is already inflamed from the autoimmune condition I have, I'd prefer not to have surgical stuff going on in that area.

Yes, fruit trees can be so prolific and when you have a tree it's often a case of thinking of new ways to use the vast quantities of fruit. I have dropped bags of fruit at various neighbours' places. I have plans for more cakes. The oranges are almost done now, the mandarins are less but still quite a few there and there are still plenty of lemons. It's lovely you have the memory of helping make plum jam with your mum when you were small. That would have been tasty indeed!

It is sad, as you say, that a number of people are attracted by a cute puppy but don't fully grasp what it means when they grow into an adult dog. It is also concerning about how there can be a trend with a breed and lots of people all of a sudden want that breed without understanding the ramifications of the traits and needs of the particular breed. That happened after the movie Oddball came out featuring a Maremma sheepdog. Lots of people got one not realising they are not well suited to suburban backyards and many of them had to be rehomed.

Paws, I think why not go with both Albatrosses and Giraffes?! The Albatrosses will give a wonderful directly overhead view, while the Giraffes will give an angled view from an elevated position. It will greatly enhance the film to have the diversity of perspectives. I will start training them in camera techniques as soon as possible. Sir David has said he would love to narrate the film, already intrigued but the spectacle of giraffes riding to the iceberg on the backs on whales, a feat previously unknown in the natural world.

It is rather chilly here tonight and I have a blanket on my knees as I type this. I am imagining, though, it is colder in your parts of the world, Paws and Croix. Croix, perhaps you have your wood fire crackling with Sumo sitting by it? Paws, I am already forgetting if you have a wood fire? You have probably mentioned your means of heating at some point so apologies if I have forgotten already. I do have one, but only use it occasionally.

Wishing all a lovely weekend!

Warm Hugs,

ER

[Croix]

Dear ER, Paws and All~

I'm glad you pain level has reduced, an operation is not at all attractive a proposition.

I too have problem possums, they wear army boots and practice tap dancing on my tin roof, which disturbs Sumo, who opens an eye, and sets foxy dog to barking.

You are right, Sumo is on my left on his plush blanket and we are in front of the wood fire. We also have a heat-pump however the fire sends warmth throughout the house, the pump just heats one room.

We too have fruit trees, the only problem being thay have an all or nothing philosophy and produce everything all at once, so much is wasted, a pity. We used to have sheep, who ate all the dropped fruit, however we have not had any for many years ever since I found they were stronger than me and had their own ideas about having their nails clipped, drenching and so on.

Do you think albatrosses are a good idea? If they are still resentful of the Ancient Mariner they may not be overly freindly.

You lot are turning my nice peaceful iceberg into a circus, and holding my flippers in front of my eyes is not that effective.

Croix