Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, wave to everyone,

I understand how much you are missing Sam, it is 6 weeks today since I lost Woofa & it still hurts. 

Hanna as much as I hate to say it, you may find that post xmas/January there will be a lot more dogs suited to you coming through vets/pounds/rspca etc as the annual dumping season kicks in with people going on hols etc. Unfortunately rescue places also often get the puppies the back yard breeders didn't manage to sell for xmas coming through at this time too.

I checked on the Choice web site for their reviews of the pendants & they found so many issues with all the ones they tested that they no longer do recommendations for them. Not a very comforting prospect especially as they are not cheap & come with monthly charges. But as I don't need a lot of the features you can sign up for, I just want the daily welfare call really, perhaps I may find it works for me. I am interested if anyone else uses them or has family that do & what they think of them in real life situations. I might ring some of the companies over the coming weeks & see what I think of how they answer my questions.

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws

Yes I won't be looking for another dog until after Christmas and I thought the same thing, people go away for holidays or get a puppy for Christmas and don't want it. So I'll look around then.

The welfare call sounds like a good idea! 

[mmMekitty]

Hello Paws, Hanna & everyone

I've been thinking about what if, in relation to emergencies, & while also looking for another place to live. I've been looking at retirement villages, & age care facilities, wondering what's out there, you know, if anywhere is possible for me to to live & feel safe. They all mention the that residents have medical alerts, pendants, call systems, & such. It would surely be appalling to think any are relying on unreliable devices. What a thought. ..  

Wasn't it fun with Optus systems being down today! 

I think organisations like Lifeline, (I think is one), offer to call people regularly, a welcfare check, to vulnerable people? That may be worth looking into... though it may not have done any good today if either the organisation or the person they are phoning is on the Optus network.

It was a worry. Not too much for me, because my PDr had rescheduled today's appointment to tomorrow, so I had thought, surely the system will be working before tomorrow. As it turned out, I could have called him as usual, because I got a signal again just minutes before the usual time of our appointments.

I had decided, if I still did not have a signal by tomorrow, maybe by lunchtime, I would have tried to email him to say that I might not be able to call him.... or ought I email earlier? I wasn't sure when to do that.

Fortunately, I was able to do a little shopping up the road at Wooolies, without problems. But I overheard someone near me was having a problem.

I'm hoping people here were not panicking about it.

Good idea to wait until after Xmas, about getting a new dog. I find it's really sad to think of getting a puppy or kitten at Xmas, than not wanting to keep them after. & that so many are then in need of homes.

That's the one part I didn't like about going to RSPCA, or to any shelter for that matter, is leaving all the other animals behind.

Sorry to leave you with that sad thought - I rather think it sums up how I've been feeling lately.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Hanna3]

Hi mmMekitty, Paws everyone

There's no harm in looking around for somewhere better mmMekitty - there are organizations that are finally putting up some decent affordable housing.  

If you had a one daily welfare check they would at least get the police to check on you if you didn't answer, so it gives you some security.  Outages like yesterday are fortunately rare and I'm sure the call centres would have been checking on people as soon as the phones were working again.

I do think it's wise to plan ahead about making sure there is someone to check on you regularly as we all get older!  It's much trickier for those of us who don't have children and grandchildren to check on us.  So I think we have to plan ahead a bit!

[Hanna3]

Hi mmMekitty - and Paws and everyone

I replied to your post this morning mmMekitty but it hasn't come through!  I think a welfare call each day would be comforting - outages like yesterday don't happen often - and I'm sure the staff who do the welfare calls were back busy checking on people once everything was up and running again.  

I think you should look around for something better for you - with your sight issues you would get high priority to get a new place.  Some of the little villas that are going up now look very nice, you get a tiny courtyard and they are insulated and have reverse cycle heating and cooling - so much more comfortable!  Organizations like Housing Plus are putting these up. I will put in for one - we still have no insulation here and no heating or cooling - so why not.  I am old enough that they will move me - a lady who is familiar with this told me due to the behaviour here to say I was worried for my safety - then they have to move me.

A woman near here got a lovely little Legacy unit and she had no connection with a returned serviceman to be eligible - it was just that there were not enough elderly ladies who were wives of former returned servicemen to take up all the units - she applied and got one - much nicer than where I am now!  I think it pays to just have a go!

Paws, any more thoughts about the new dog?  And I hope the new vacuum works OK!

[Paw Prints]

Hello mmMekitty, Hanna,

mmMekitty, I've been wondering since reading the comments by Choice whether it was the extra features that were perhaps unreliable, apparently they offer things like setting a safe zone & then the GPS sends an alert if someone goes outside the zone, useful I would think if the person had dementia or the like, but given how far away from my actual location both my computer & sometimes even my phone place me perhaps not reliable with the pendants either. Some of the other features like automatic alerts if the pendant senses you've had a fall, even some of the companies themselves mention in the small print it depends on how you fall whether the pendant sends an alarm or not. So another feature you really wouldn't want to rely on. I would hope that there wouldn't be any reason that actually pressing the button for help wouldn't work, but they did say some types don't show if the battery is getting low so with those units having a flat battery would be a risk. I suppose like most things it is a case of doing your homework before purchasing so you know where you stand. Some companies don't have a fixed contract so it would be easy for the user or family member to "test" how it works in real life without having to fork out hundreds of dollars.

I've looked into getting the free calls from the Red Cross etc, but they all have conditions as to who is eligible & I don't meet the criteria. I'm not over 80 or with the NDIS or Aged Home Care, etc etc... I guess there are so many people wanting such a service they have to set strict limits so they can manage the numbers.

Hanna you must be psychic... I finally took the new vac out of the box today & gave it a quick try. It is much easier than dragging the old vac around & I love the light on the brush part, though the test will be using it on the big rug. I want to vac that with the old vac & then do it with the new one & see if it works better. The rug was one of my bugbears using the old vac, I would have to resort to using my old fashioned straw broom to get it properly clean.

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws, it must be one of the newer ones that are just a stick basically - so much easier than the old ones with the hose attached that you had to drag around!  I was very glad to throw my old one out at the rubbish tip when I was getting ready to leave the house!

[Hanna3]

I don't know whether I mentioned that I was chatting with my old neighbour Rosemary recently - we keep in regular contact.  I asked if anyone was in the house yet - it was all done up after I left and has been empty ever since.  Well apparently they have put in an elderly lady on her own who needs a walking stick to get around!  This is a house with steep stairs front and back and a huge back yard that has to be mowed.  Incredible.  Rosemary said she has not come out yet or even opened the curtains but she sees the bathroom light left on at night.  

That house also has no insulation for winter or summer.  It's quite incredible what the Housing Dept does to people!

Rosemary sounds well, her husband is sick but she is still caring for him, and her little dog Molly is still well and misses Sam she said.

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, wave to all,

Yes it is a stick vac. I chose this model because it has the ability to bend in the middle if you release a catch, which means I don't have to go down at an uncomfortable angle to vac under the bed etc. I'm definitely preferring it to the old barrel vac, the only downside is how small the dust canister is, but I can live with that. 

It's lovely that you keep in touch with Rosemary, with the worry caring for her husband, she must enjoy having a chat with a friend & having other things to think about. 

Why am I not surprised that housing has yet again given no thought about where it houses people. We need new housing stock suited to the people who need them. Given how much money property developers make, they should have to construct a certain number of single storey, wheelchair etc accessible units for social housing at a pre-set price, to get approval to build a set number of new regular housing/units that they can sell at market prices. 

Hugs

Paws

[mmMekitty]

Hi Paws & Hanna & everyone

I bought a stick vac a few months ago, hoping it would be easier for me to ;use myself, sometimes. I manage to get the main areas where I am messiest done sometimes, but that's about it. My back still hurts when using it. & yeah, the compartment doesn't hold much, so I have to empty it each time. I also have to clean out the bristles each time , too. All my dropped hair gets wound up in them.

I don't understand the decisions made by state gov housing. I can only imagine that because the list of people needing housing is so long, they are thinking any housing they can get someone into is 'good enough', because it's better than none - or a tent, as I gather some charitable organisations are giving homeless people.

If it was to come down to that sort of equation, then I would rather stay in this unit. I think I'd feel very much more unsafe homeless, maybe with a tent to lug around while I find a relatively safe place to sleep. truly, I cannot imagine having to do that.

Hugzies

mmMekitty