Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[ecomama]

Hi Paws, Hanna, Kitty and all the lovelies reading, 

How are you all doing? 

The weather is so unpredictable at the moment, very cold then very hot then icy cold and raining... I'm wearing 6 different pieces of clothing per day atm. I go from wearing uggies with bed socks to Summer sandals to uggies again. Making me a little crazy lol. 

What are you all up to these days? 

Hope to pop in again soon, take care everyone, 
Love EMxxxx

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, Em, wave to everyone,

Well I spent most of today (looking at the clock that should be yesterday) in bed... I think it was in part a reaction to my going into big town yesterday... Woofa started off by my feet on my bed, but as the sun came through he moved onto his bed by my bedroom window... where he was very brave barking at any pesky wildlife whenever they dared to appear... 

With all the rain lately the roads to big town had lots of potholes & many that were more like sink holes.. of course I got held up by roadworks as they were resealing one section of road (just not the really bad patches)... first stop the Dr who was running very behind... got my 4th jab so had to wait another 15 minutes back in the waiting room... then went to the servo & remembered to check my tyre pressure... (yay!!!)... next off to the chemist... made myself wait in the shop for the script to be filled... it was so noisy & busy with lots of movement... after I had been waiting a little while I think my increasing anxiety must have been showing as a member of staff kindly asked my name & got the chemist to do mine next... then I made myself go to Woolies & get the few things I needed that my local general store doesn't stock... I'm really missing having Woofa with me in the car to help me calm down... headed home playing more dodgem with the potholes on the way... plus more time sitting at the roadworks... so glad to get home... 

The weather has been doing much the same here lately Em... though around these parts it has been out of wack all this year... thankfully no floods... Woofa & I are both hoping for a mild summer... fingers & paws crossed.

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi paws. I'm glad you made it to the other town and back. Do you not take Woofa in the car with you?

Daylight savings begins this weekend and I always hate it!

Had lunch out and bought a new sun hat. Busy day. Hope you are having a good one. 🌞

[ecomama]

Hey Paws and Hanna, waves to others reading along and HUGE hugs if you need one too, 

Paws that's a HUGE day. I KNOW the potholes are like moon craters here too, or like sink holes yes. 
The Council or whomever repairs these have done our road 3 times this year. Clearly not very well. 

Driving over these is so hard on our tyres and suspension and might I say NOT very nice for the nerves either. 

I guess you need to get all those errands done whilst you're in Big Town (lol love that name btw haha)... do you bank it all up and get the list ready for the day? 
Ahhh so often I've had to ditch the list because I couldn't cope after Number 1 job then flee. 
I'm doing better nowadays, but seldom go to crowded places, unless it's by chance it's crowded. 

How are you doing after jab No 4? 
Wow that's alot! 
I won't get another jab unless I'm forced to by my employers (as I was forced to in the first place under threat of losing my job >> which would have meant my house >> etc). 
My reactions were severe, I'm still being monitored by my GPs surgery "for research purposes". 

Anyhoo how does Woofa cope with you being out all day? 

Our poodle doesn't manage very well without someone being home but he takes himself into the quietest of all rooms and sleeps (I think). 

Yep snap about the weather again today. Raining then WARM (oh so nice!) then icy cold and raining again. 
It's been like this most of the year here too! I live in NSW, is that the state you live in too? 

The only good things about this has been FULL water tanks and free water for the washing machine lol. 

NO watering the garden, which I barely do anyway, but things have grown DINOSAUR sized this year! 

I'm making fried rice and our very EM style Kim Chee plus some store bought Asian entrees to go with these. 

Hanna why do you hate daylight savings changing over? 

Talk soon
Love EMxxxx

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, Em, wave to all...

Hanna I no longer take Woofa with me into big town... 50 minutes each way plus however long I take running errands... with his arthritis & just his age it is too long in the car for him... I noticed he was enjoying it less & less so decided for his sake to leave him home.

Em Woofa is fine at being left home alone as long as it doesn't get dark... he is a big scardy cat of being alone in the dark (he was cornered by a mumma possum as a puppy) so if I'm going to be out late I have to leave a light & the telly on for him or I come home to a very stressed Woofa.

I'm practising going to places with people trying to teach myself it's ok & I'm safe... saying that big town is still a country town so not as busy as the big smoke (Melbourne) plus I don't go at the busiest times... It is a lot harder not having Woofa in the car... he helped me calm down if I reached a point where I just had to escape where ever I was.

I'm fine with the jabs... just a sore arm at the point where the needle goes in... as I've not had any reaction to them I think it's better for me to have them as I count as a person at high risk with covid.

Daylight savings doesn't bother me I just hate the change over as I take a bit to reset my body clock... I think it would be better to leave it on savings time all year... that way the kids would still have some daylight to come home from school in.

Hanna did you manage to meet up with someone for lunch or just treat yourself?... 

Hugs

Paws

[ecomama]

Hey Paws, I'm glad to hear that Woofa can cope while you're out. 
That's a great idea leaving the TV and lights on if you might be home after it gets dark. 

That's when I've noticed Poods (lol Deebi's name for him lol) seems to be the most anxious when I get home - if it's dark. So I'll start doing this. I'm so seldom OUT of the house (except for working hours) that it'd be a rare thing to do anyway. 

He was so anxious when we got him, we had to carry him around in a baby sling, even in bed with us at night. He doesn't whimper like he used to unless he's hurt. He's come a long way! 

I hope you've all had a nice day, 
Love EMxxxx

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws and everyone

It's the changeover with daylight saving that I find difficult too. 

Yes I always leave lights and television on for Sam if I have to leave him home alone. 

I'm not long home we had a long day out today and perfect weather. Yesterday I met an old friend for lunch, we've known each other for about 20 years, she grew up here but now lives in another state but was here for a family occasion, so we had a great catch up!

I found a DVD of cirque de soleil for a couple of dollars at an op shop so I will enjoy watching that sometime. One of the staff at a shop here I'm friends with has a brother in law who is a rope artist with cirque du soleil. Amazing acrobats and gymnasts.

🌞🐕💞🌼🌳🌻

[Hanna3]

I met two elderly people who both had big, young dogs - both kelpy cross - on leads and were struggle to manage them. The woman was almost falling over, her dog was pulling so hard. Neither of them knew about the off-leash dog parks.

I felt sorry for the poor dogs, they wanted to run around and sniff on a lovely day near the river.

I suspect they choose big dogs for security but it's hard on the dogs...

Sam gets more runs than these dogs!

Most people here have gone away for the long weekend so it's lovely and quiet!

Does Woofa get very stressed when you go to the other town Paws?

🌞🌼🐩🌳

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, Em, wave to everyone,

Hanna I'm so pleased you were able to catch up with your old friend in person... that must have been lovely for you both...

If those ladies haven't even trained their dogs to walk on a leash then I'm pretty certain they would have no control of their dogs in an off leash area... I think that would then be a recipe for disaster waiting to happen right there.... I do feel sorry for those dogs... 

Em that is so sweet you carrying Pood around in a sling until he felt more settled... it can be so hard for some rescues to learn to feel safe.

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws and everyone

We have had the most perfect spring day here today! The birds are chirping, the trees are starting to bud new green leaves, people are out picnicking, and it's the first day in a long time we've been able to have the doors and windows open at home! 🌞🌳🌱🌿🍃☘️🌻

Paws I told those dog owners what time the other dog owners I know turn up at the dog parks. There is a nice group of very experienced large dog owners there, and I think they could give some real help to those two older dog owners I met, especially the woman. 

The experienced owners are good at supervising the dogs, I'm sure they will be fine. 

I've had my drivers licence number stolen in the optus fracas, so now I have to contact service nsw and pay for a new one - apparently later on optus says they will eventually reimburse people.

I hope the weather today has been good for everyone! What's it like where you are Paws? Are you able to sit/stroll outside?

🌞🐕🦠🌸🏵️🌼🕊️🐦🦆🐇🐝🌺🐞🐛🦋🌱🍀