Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

[Paw Prints]

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find.

Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim.

My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others.

A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know.
So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better.
For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself.

Paw Prints
**I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

[Paw Prints]

Hello Everyone,

Well the mower place got back to me... they will pick my mower up this week... yay!!

I have managed some small bits of cleaning... my clean washing has made it out of the drier to my room... but it is still on the chair-robe (a new word I learnt on Grandy's routine thread)... & I did some more clearing/putting away of things from my kitchen benches... as well as doing the dishes...

Tomorrow is meant to be nice once the fog lifts... so I will see what things I can manage to do inside during the morning then tomorrow afternoon I'm hoping to be outside on my verandah painting the repaired pots & finally potting up (in different pots to the painted ones) the rose & lavender... some other plants need repotting so if I can I will do them too... touch wood...

I would like to have the kitchen completely clean (Including washing the windows) by the weekend... I think I can do this...

Thank you lass's for all your support... it is helping

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Well done Paws! You are fantastic! Hugs!

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, Deebi, Grandy & Katy,

Well the kitchen didn't get done by the weekend... nor has any of the painting or repotting even been started... I've been avoiding going to bed, then avoiding getting up & staying up... it wouldn't be too bad if I was doing something useful... but I've been mindlessly playing minesweeper on my old laptop half the night...

I think I set myself too many things to do at the same time... I need to remember little steps... so today I did one task only... I finally manage to wash the kitchen windows inside & out... I will need to go over the inside again as I can see some streaks when the sun hits it... my back was not happy with my effort so I will hopefully finish them tomorrow.

I will try very hard tonight to go to bed at a reasonable time... small steps...

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws,

That's all I do - try to set myself one or two things to do each day - but some days they don't get done... the other day I cleaned out the fruit and veggie container int the fridge, and scrubbed down the kitchen sink - that was it for the day... and i cleaned the microwave oven.

Smell steps is the way to go I think - just one or two little jobs each day or so... helps keep things under control. I can't do too much at a time with the nerve pain I have... so just little bits every day or two... is all I can do... the place needs much more but I know that's all I can manage.

Well done Paws for getting done what you have!

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Paws

Was wondering where you were at with things, so glad you've checked in. I agree it's better to set one or two specific tasks and try to do those, then think about the big picture. Reminds me of the saying "if all you can do is crawl, then do that". I'm more of a vegetable crisper, than a whole fridge person, too. Cleaning windows inside and out is massive. Good on you 🙂

By the way - I REALLY want to play minesweeper now!

Big hugs x

[Paw Prints]

Hello Katy, Hanna, Grandy, Deebi & everyone

Memo to self: do NOT try & put my bin out in the dark when it is cloudy, wet & no moonlight.....

Well... I had a little cross country adventure this morning... the weather warning for yesterday afternoon & evening was correct... heavy rain & high winds.... so I didn't put my bin out...

The bin man doesn't usually come until about about noon so knew I would have time this morning... I was awake all night & the rain barely let up... then about 6:30 there was a break... given the forecast I ventured out...

My drive is steep, long & bends at odd angles to take in the slope & the curve in the road... from my fence to the road is about 30 metres

Walking stick in one hand... pulling bin with the other... no hand free for torch... that's ok thought me... I had my front lights on....

It was still drizzling & my glasses don't have wipers so everything was a blur... I made it to my fence line but by then the house lights no longer showed my footing... so I was moving forward using my stick to judge if I was still on my drive... I thought I was getting close to the road... then I bumped into a traffic sign post... whoops... that is on the other side of the road... ok thinks me... I can see the roof of the house lit up to orient by... so I can work out where I am by that... got the bin back across to my side of the road & headed towards the house....

Facing the house to the right of the drive by the fence is a tree which I could see the top of lit from the house... a point to aim for... yet some how I found myself wading through wet grass over rough ground... I had lost the drive... the ground was getting rougher... the grass thicker & I was struggling... my back doesn't like me putting the bin out at the best of times & now all the rough ground was making me twist every which way... my heart was thumping & my asthma kicked in...

Well I made it to the fence by the tree... & looked to my left expecting there to be the break for the drive... nope... just more fence...I was so disoriented & knackered... I couldn't work out where the drive entrance was... so I climbed over the fence... yep in the dark & wet...it was more of an undignified scramble than a climb & I only just saved myself from landing on my behind... I think the average 90 year old could have beaten my time to the house....

[Paw Prints]

Once I had my breath back I drove up to the road to check I had left the bin in a safe spot.... lucky I did as it did need to be moved to a better spot...

After a sleep I looked out front to see where this mystery tree I had mistakenly aimed for was... it turns out it was the right tree... it's just that it isn't right beside the drive but a good 15 metres away... grrr

So lesson learned... hmmm maybe I need to buy a miners helmet with the light on it??????

Well the power has just gone off again ... this makes 3 times in 3 days...

Stay warm all

love & hugs

Paws

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Oh dear, Paws! What a misadventure! I do hope it's ok that I had a bit of a giggle picturing all that in my head. I'm sure you weren't giggling at the time though. I'm glad you didn't injure yourself and end up out there cold and wet.

I hope you're not too sore after fence climbing! And that the power stays on for you.

Where was your trusty sidekick when all of this was going on?

Hugs back at you, Katy x

[Ggrand]

Dear Paws, Waves to Katey, Hanna and Deebi 👏🏻..

Sounds like you had one big adventure yesterday....I’m pleased you found your way back to your home....Yes foggy glasses and windscreen can make everything around you look different....

A miners hat..now that’s a good idea....

Too many black outs..grrrr...happens a lot where I live and I don’t feel safe through them..especially at night..I’m pleased your feeling a bit better now...and didn’t fall on your uh hum.....

Stay warm lovely lady and I hope one day soon..non fogging glasses will be invented..

My love dear friend with warm hugs....

Grandy..

[demonblaster]

😅 oh dear Pawsy 🐾 hi everyone 👋

Sorry lovey I'm giggling with Katy, it was your commentary esp the scramble over the fence and a 90 yo would have beaten you.

You did amazingly well in hard circumstances. Good jobby dear lassy ☺ you achieved even if it took a tad longer than planned. Oh chooky your poor back. Yikes bet you were sore the next couple of days.

Really well done hun you pushed through and got so many jobs done. Awesome! So pleased for you darl. It's hard pushing through and I really was impressed you getting back to do the windows. You didn't give up on your plan. Powers becoming yours Pawsy.

I hope you feel about your efforts and happy that your making progress. Power within it's strong when we reach deep and work it.

Hope you're doing ok dear Pawsy.

Thanks for your lovely post at mine I'll bbl 🤗😊👋🐾✊👍🤝💗⚘