So, how was your day?

[Doolhof]

I've had a busy kind of day that went very well. I have managed to work, go for a swim, had lunch in a park, enjoyed a coffee and biscuits with a client and looked at the second hand tent we have just bought ourselves.

I went down to the chook house to check on my "ladies" and had a chat with them while they clucked away waiting for me to feed them. I also had a look to see where we can set the tent up in the garden this weekend to try it out. I'm already thinking of places nearby where we can go camping. I will also ask my sister and nieces if they would like to join me sometime.

Please feel free to contribute and share how you have spent your day.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Dear Indra Hi,

Thanks for your lovely message. My health is restoring itself physically, I just need to work on the emotional side more I am not on medication. My Dr. is trying to help me sort that out!

I used to have mild migraines monthly which wasn't much fun and have discovered that starting new Anti Dep. med and coming off them produces very severe migraines for some reason. I feel like my head is going to explode.

Sorry to hear you and your Mum had a blow up, but am so relieved and happy for you that you have been able to resolve your differences of opinion.

I don't tackle issues with my Mum, it just isn't worth it. My younger sister and Mum were always so close until my sister told Mum she didn't agree with how Mum was telling her to raise her daughters. They didn't talk for about a year. The pain that caused the whole family was ridiculous.

Due to Mum's mental health issues, she can not recognise or comprehend that she ever does anything wrong. Her words and actions can be so hurtful and painful. I feel sorry for her as she misses out on so much love, peace and joy that could be hers.

Hopefully your Dad will recover soon. Complications sure can be a bother. Hopefully the extra visit with your Mum will go well.

All the best with the visit at your friends. Ask the adults to help keep an eye on your son. Maybe all the children can be involved in keeping your older son safe too.

Do you like listening to music? Do you have a device you can play CDs on? Libraries often have a choice of CDs and DVDs you can borrow. A bit of music may help to make the house not feel so empty and lonely.

Friends do sometimes forget when they have arranged to meet up. Could you phone them again and say you would like to try and catch up again.

Stuff happens. It does hurt when people don't stick to commitments, but unfortunately some people just forget, or they don't think. I am a little annoyed when friends have accepted an invitation to catch up, then say so and so has invited them to a movie or something. Now, I feel that sucks! Ha. Ha.

I'm rambling on! Ha. Ha. Hope you make the most of all the new opportunities that are coming your way and I will do the same here!

Cheers to you my friend, from Lauren

[Hopefullseeking]

Hi Lauren,

What a pain with the car, suppose its not to bad if you have another car that can be used.

Working on memories about my brother has sort of come to an end, I was suppose to find someone to tell about the incident, but tell daily to so it would lose its impact, I couldn't do that.  I looked at two close friends and thought no way in the world could I verbalise to them on a daily basis a memory of the abuse.  Doing this is suppose to reduce the shame and guilt but I couldn't do it. I feel like I've failed but my psychologist doesn't but she was disappointed.

No I can't change what has happened, as I am continually reminded by my psychologist the events in my life has made me the person I am today.  Yeah screwed. I do pride myself on being caring, gentle, supportive and loyal.  I also know what it is like to lose friends because of my past.

My new lounge is called liquorice but is in fact a grey color where as I always thought liquorice was black. lol  It has certainly made my lounge room a lot smaller but it is so comfy that it is worth it.  The cat is getting use to it, he spends more time now on the chair to sleep which is good because he was always on my lap when I sat down, now I have some space.  My lounge/dinning room is finished.

I had a friend come over and we cleared out my kitchen cupboards so it is more use friendly for my back and arthritis.  She works for an aged care agency so has done this before, certainly makes it easier for me.

My cat is called Hope, he is male, obviously. A rescue cat. When I went to get a kitten I had already made up my mind I was going to name it Hope.  I was really depressed at the time and that motivated the name, Hope.

I am struggling with Vertigo to, how funny is that.  Don't know what to do, my GP wants to send me to an ENT guy, I'm not keen.  I have had it so much lately, it is impacting on my life.

I eat to cope, I'm a fatty.

What do you do for your vertigo, luckily it doesn't make me feel sick.  I'm allergic to stemetil (spelling not my thing) family.

Bye for now

love and hugs

Anne

[Indra]

Hi Lauren,

Sorry for the delay in responding - I thought I had lol My Dad got out of hospital today and just has to remember to take it easy for awhile. I had to take my mum to the eye specialist in the next town over, as she had to have some injections in her eye - I cringe everytime I hear about it! It went ok and we took my youngest to McDonnald's for a play afterwards. At least I got to sit and have a coffee. Miniman had a bit of a meltdown when it was time to go - but that is also 4 year olds!

I love listening to music and always have. Although my tastes are very heavy and loud and I think I should invest in headphones as not to startle the neighbours haha I did have the tv as background noise - at least it is people talking.

I will try again with my friends soon - one has a lot on her plate at the moment and I don't like to bother her too much. We know where each other are - I lend an ear if she does ring though.

Back to the normal hustle and bustle of the school week - holidays soon - which is a bittersweet time. My eldest has to go for a week - which he develops severe anxiety over - but it is court ordered and there is not a lot I can do apart from reassure him constantly.  Have plans to go to the movies with the youngest to occupy a day or two.

Ramble away my friend - it is good to have the conversation - I can imagine if we did get together for a coffee - wouldn't be a quiet moment haha

Take care of yourself and hope things smooth out for you soon,

Always good to hear from you,

Indra

[Doolhof]

Dear Anne,

Hi. Thanks for such a wonderful message. You have shared so much in it.

Regarding the request from your psych about how to desensitise yourself more to what happened with your brother, I can understand the idea behind the suggestion.

I think I would find it hard to tell a person daily what had happened to me around my first husband's brutality or the loss of my babies.

Could you instead write it down each day? That idea would help me I am sure. After you have written it down, I would then write something like "That happened then. It is in the past. I am a beautiful and loving person". Just a little something to help you feel a whole lot better about yourself.

I have a faith and belief in God, so I tell Him everything that is upsetting and bugging me and it helps me. I also praise and thank Him for all of His blessings.

Yes, your past has happened, but we as humans can change the person we are today! The memory will always be there, we can learn to lessen the pain, guilt and shame we (wrongly) feel.

I can decide right now if I am going to let a probable confrontation with a client later this morning cloud how I am feeling right now. I could feel great trepidation and anger now when the event hasn't happened or might not happen and I will be ruining my morning.

This particular client does not play by the company rules and I am the one who gets in trouble for it. I happened to phone her yesterday to ask if I could assist her 15 minutes earlier than her scheduled time to help out my husband who has an appointment...and she rather rudely said NO.

Hopefully his car will be fixed end of this week. Living in the country with no public transport makes it interesting when you need to get to a different town.

It is great you have had help to rearrange the cupboards. It can make a huge difference to how easy you can access things!

The new lounge sounds lovely and I like the name of your cat! We all need a little Hope in our lives. Our cat does not like to be help and does not sit on our laps but she does have some funny ways that makes us laugh at her.

I had written more and had gone way over the limit, so will be a bit cheeky and will cut and paste it! 

Cheers for now, look out for part two!

From Lauren

[Doolhof]

Hi again Anne,

Is there a reason why you don't want to see the ENT guy? Is it because he is a guy? Could you ask a friend to attend the appointment with you?

I think it would be beneficial to receive all the investigation you can regarding your vertigo. There might be a very simple answer to your problems and an easy way to fix it.

When my Vertigo and nausea is severe, the only way for me to cope is to be horizontal! I do find that sucking strong peppermints helps a little, as does peppermint tea, Vegemite on toast, black tea, and sometimes doing neck stretches to help loosen the tension.

It all depends on what is causing the vertigo though. An appointment would be very beneficial I feel. Like I mentioned, ask if someone will attend with you.

I'd best move on!

Hope you have a great day my friend,

Cheers, from Lauren

[Doolhof]

Dear Indra,

Hi. It must be difficult for your oldest to be troubled by the access process. In a way it is wonderful his father wants to see him. Just a shame it is such a stressful time for your son.

Hopefully you will all enjoy the holidays. Do you have other people you can connect with? Make a time to catch up in a park or somewhere...depending on the weather of course.

I used to like listening to music of all sorts but my husband doesn't seem to. I have never bought headphones, they would be a good idea. There are so many options really for listening to music!

Maybe I will put some CDs in my car. I do a lot of driving during the day, so that would be a good time to listen to my favourite music.

Your friend who has a lot on her plate, could you catch up with her in the holidays? Sometimes a bit of distraction and doing something different can help us to get out of a rut.

Yesterday I had a little time between my clients so I went to the library and borrowed some craft books. I thought about some cds also, but by the time I had checked out all the craft books, I was almost running out of time! Ha. Ha.

My husband actually has a job interview today! I have juggled my day around so he can get there on time as his car is still in the crash repair and we don't have public transport here.  

My last client today is actually here in the town we live in, so I can walk to their place in about 20 minutes so my husband can have the car. Hopefully it will not be raining!

It is, then I will have to walk faster and take an umbrella!

Hope you have a good day. Just had a thought, are there any free children's activities happening in your area during the holidays? Sometimes shopping centres or Church groups have free or low cost activities.

Cheers for now my friend, from Lauren

[Hopefullseeking]

Hi Lauren

I sort of have a phobia of Dr's to a degree.  I don't have a good track record with Dr's.  It has taken me about 3 years to get use to my current GP, she is lovely and will take the time if you need to just talk.

The last Dr I saw was the head of the orthopaedic section of my local hospital, she was your worst nightmare. She basically called me a fraud.  Questioned why I was on DSP, questioned if I even had arthritis, I have a pile of x-rays, scans, etc. saying that I do, the foot I was going to see her about has chronic arthritis all through it. Some days I can barely walk on it. She was so rude I left the hospital and burst into tears.  My shrink wanted me to complain but what's the point, nothing happens.

I suffer from anxiety, etc. and going to see someone I don't know fills me with dread.  I feel pathetic feeling this way, I'm 60 for bleeps sake.  I have been seeing Dr's since my childhood, at 17 I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and my hospital stay was a nightmare, by 20 the cancer was back, I had my honeymoon then went into hospital for major surgery to remove the cancer.  I have been clear ever since but I think psychologically the damage was done.  Does that make sense?

I don't get nausea from the Vertigo but I do like peppermints and peppermint tea.

Hope you are doing ok, have a good week.

Hugs

Anne

[Indra]

Hello Lauren,

I hope your day went well. Today was a busy a one - my little one had his visit with the mental health nurse to discuss some strategies - I am waiting for his diagnosis for Aspergers still - health system there is always a waiting game. To get the diagnosis done privately costs a small fortune - something I don't have at the moment.

Today was going ok until I opened my mail. My ex (little one's father) is starting legal proceedings - more unwanted stress. I have an appointment with my lawyer on Thursday - at least this time around I have a professional lawyer -which makes a huge difference.

School holidays we will be going to visit my parents and sister - one day in each week - so both of the boys can see everyone. They enjoy it there - and my little one gets along with his cousin (she is 6) really well- they are both animal mad lol I will have to have a look about some community activities in the first week - hopefully there should be some info at his kindy.

That's the main time I get to listen to music as well is in the car - at least I can sing to my heart's content without hurting anybody's ear haha

I still have a pile of books I need to read - I am a bit of a collector. I used to go to the library regularly when I lived in the city. I use a great online bookstore - always lots of bargains. I do miss browsing through a bookstore though - could do that for hours.

Best of luck for your hubby and his job interview - hopefully your car won't be out of action for too much longer. You are lucky you can walk to one of your clients - today was nice here, so I am hoping it was for you too and that you didn't get rained upon!

Doctor's appointments for everyone tomorrow - will be interesting taking both boys to my appointment - not sure how that is going to go - might need to do some bribing for good behaviour lol

Thanks for saying hi and hope to talk again soon,

Thank you as always my friend,

Indra

[Doolhof]

Dear Anne,

Hi. Yes, I agree with you, some Drs are not always very pleasant to deal with. I know they are people like everyone else, but some of them just need a little more decorum.

My sister attends appointments with my parents as she has been a "nurse" for decades. (in different fields) One of Dad's specialists now knows that there is no point in him getting up out of his chair to show Dad out of the door until my sister gets up!

I sent in a complaint regarding a local Dr. I didn't receive much of a reply, but I felt empowered for having done so. You never know what effect your letter might have, especially for someone else who sees that Dr and is intimidated!

I don't suffer much from anxiety, but have certainly seen it in others and have read a lot about how it affects people.

Past experiences certainly shape how we see and feel about issues as well. A terrible experience can stay with us for a very long time, if not for ever.

Hopefully you can find someone to go with you.

What you have written certainly does make sense! There are so many sayings like "Once bitten...twice shy" and so on. There is no reason at all to feel ashamed or belittled by suffering from anxiety, depression or any other form of mental health.

Thankfully my feeling of nausea, vertigo and head aches are diminishing. Yah. Now it would be nice if my back muscles would stop going into spasm.

My day has been okay. Had some training in the morning. Tried to sort out a confused client who thought I was going to assist her on my week off work and then went to help another client who wasn't too happy her hair appointments had to be changed last week and again next week while I have time off!

Oh bother. Need to dash off. It is 7.00 p.m. and dishes time. We can't do them at 7.15, it has to be 7.00 p.m. Ha. Ha.

Cheers for now, from Lauren

[Doolhof]

Dear Anne,

Hi. Sorry for the abrupt departure yesterday. We do the dishes at 7.00 p.m. My husband likes them to be done then! If I am having help to do them, then 7.00 p.m. is fine with me. Ha. Ha.

We had then planned to finish a jigsaw puzzle we were working on then watch the Thursday night AFL match.

Just between you and me, why do we need another night of Footy on the T.V.?

I know! So I can sit quietly on the couch and do some craft! Ha. Ha. I have started to crochet a little basket out of an old pillow case. I saw one at a fair and liked it.

Just thought I would let you know that today is my Birthday! I have to work! I will have two clients today and a couple of hours of driving almost. I will have time to duck home for a quick lunch which I will buy today from our local bakery.

I really enjoy their Hedgehog Slice so that will be my Birthday Cake for today!

Michael has really surprised me and has presented me with two nights accommodation at a seaside hotel at Glenelg here in Adelaide. I will be going there by myself.

That will mean lots of beach time. Massages. More beach time. Sun sets. Buffet breakfasts. Time to just rest and relax and think about the future.

There aren't usually many shells on the local beaches here but I will have a look. I might even indulge in a child hood past time and make a sand castle. I did that once before at the beach recently and people looked at me like I was crazy and gave me a wide berth!

If I had a child with me it would have all been perfectly normal in other people's eyes! Our perceptions are interesting aren't they!

I seem to recall you mentioning it was your son's birthday soon as well on a different post. I am thinking of you and your son.

Cheers for now from Lauren