So, how was your day?

[Doolhof]

I've had a busy kind of day that went very well. I have managed to work, go for a swim, had lunch in a park, enjoyed a coffee and biscuits with a client and looked at the second hand tent we have just bought ourselves.

I went down to the chook house to check on my "ladies" and had a chat with them while they clucked away waiting for me to feed them. I also had a look to see where we can set the tent up in the garden this weekend to try it out. I'm already thinking of places nearby where we can go camping. I will also ask my sister and nieces if they would like to join me sometime.

Please feel free to contribute and share how you have spent your day.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Hopefullseeking]

Hi Lauren

Hello Indra, nice to see you posting here.

Hope all went well with your husband, scary stuff cancer, I have had it.

My GP thinks I need a biopsy on a thing on my leg so will mention it when I get a skin check next week.  My vertigo, is a wait and see how things go for a while, she was going to prescribe phenothiazines but I am allergic to that family of drugs so can't take them.  I am now using a nasal spray for the hay fever and hopefully that helps the sinus as well. The pain with my arthritis is so bad that I am going to trial taking two paracetemol at night, they do affect my liver so that will be closely monitored too.  I bet my GP was sorry she saw me. she is actually really nice and I shed a few tears when we discussed my son.

So not only is my mind falling to pieces my body is too, a perfect match.  Trying to find the humour in  it all otherwise I will cry.

My two sons when they were teenagers were in a tenpin bowling league, they loved it.  I like bowling too but now-a-days my back won't allow it.

This weekend here in Brisbane is a long weekend with the Queens birthday so hopefully I can get into the garden.  I tend to fall a part on a long weekend, two much think time so I will try to keep as busy as I can.  If my back will allow I want to rearrange the kitchen to make it easer for me to get to things, as you know with a bad back you can't often bend to get stuff out of the lower cupboards.

Please let us know how your husband went at the Drs.

Big big hugs to you.

Anne

[Doolhof]

Hi Indra,

Thanks for your very caring post. My husband had the endoscopy and it looks like his throat is okay, but the Dr took biopsies from his stomach that he wants to test for cancer. Like you mentiuoned, it is a tough time waiting for the results.

Certainly more so for my husband. To be quite honest, I don't know where my mind has gone these days, until I read your post, I had not give my husband's condition a thought today, or yesterday! Oh dear.

I am forgetting so much these days! As long as I remember where I live and where my clients live, that is the main thing. Ha. Ha.

I had a chat with my Dr yesterday and unfortunately it seems this new medication is providing me with a lot of unwanted side effects, including the forgetfulness, muscle and bone aches and so on. Once again...Oh Dear!

Sorry to read you have had some trouble with your son. Please do share what has been happening.

I hadn't been on the computer much the last couple of days as I have been trying to prune some olive trees, we have over 100 of them and they haven't been touched for many years.

We hope to borrow some sheep soon, so I want to prune the olive trees so the sheep can shelter under them.

I've been busy with work and swimming as well. I called my Mum and had a lovely hour's chat with her the other day. So the evenings soon disappear.

Thanks again for your concern. We will be waiting for the test results. I will try to support my husband any way he needs until the results come through.

Cheers for now from Lauren

[Doolhof]

Dear Anne,

Hi. It is comforting to read that you have a good Dr. I do too, he is very thoughtful and compassionate, understand and caring.

I have just sent a post off to Indra here on this thread regarding my husband, so when that pops up, you can read that as well.

Ha. Ha. I had a little chuckle to myself when you mentioned your body and mind cracking up on you! I so know that feeling and yes, laughter does help you deal with the new limitations.

Regarding your kitchen make over, just do it slowly. I know how tempting it is to do everything at once, but we do need to realise our bodies just can't do it.

I'm pruning olive tress at present. We have over 100. I set myself a time limit. I do an hours work making sure I stretch now and then. If I feel my back is niggling at me I go for a little walk, talk to the chooks and then return to the work.

We have along weekend here too but I have to work on the Monday and don't get paid a higher rate! That sucks!

It is a good idea to plan things you can do for the weekend so you don't think too much.

Maybe you could make a list: Gardening, Kitchen, draw a picture, read a book, read the newspaper while enjoying a coffee, catch up with a friend for a chat, go for a walk, read in bed, make lunch in bed, Google somewhere in the world you would like to go for a holiday, Google recipes or craft projects, go window shopping, wander around in a library, or what ever else you think of.

Hopefully we will finally make it to Renmark on Sunday! That is the plan anyway!

Hope you have a fun time thinking of all the wonderful things you can do this weekend.

Cheers for now from Lauren

[Indra]

Hi Lauren,

You are very welcome - that's what friends do! I do hope for a big positive with your hubby's results.

Very frazzled today, another night with no sleep. My older son was beside himself about going today and there is nothing I could do but reassure him. Which is not much I'm afraid. He was hitting and screaming took a lot to calm him down. I always feel helpless, it's an awful feeling.

My miniman has had his first visit with CAMHS and it went well; he is being referred on which is a good thing. 

I know how you feel - I am starting to forget things more and more. I never used to. I think part of it for me is not working. At least then I had to use my brain and be switched on!! I even took my little one to kindy on the wrong day!! Was a bit embarrassing.

I take it you live on a small property?? Pruning olive trees is  bit of a job lol I am looking at weeds that need pulling as I am sitting here. I skipped the green thumb generation as well! 

I'm glad you are keeping busy with work and swimming. I wouldn't be game to buy a swimming costume - it has been a long time. I have too many scars as well. Good that you spoke with your mum as well. My mother is having eye surgery today  - she only told me yesterday. I feel like I am the parent sometimes!

Well I am going to have another  coffee and then make myself do something constructive, even though I feel like rolling up into a ball!!

Thank you Anne for also saying hi! 

Take care Lauren and thanks for being you,

Indra

[Doolhof]

Hi Indra,

I hope your weekend has gone okay. Mine has been cut short as I am needing to work today to care for two of my old dears.

Our weekend didn't start too well. My husband had a car accident in the city on Friday and the car was un drivable so he had to have it towed home. He has had the car for a week. Thankfully he and the occupants of the other car were not injured.

We do live about an hour and half out of the city on 5 acres of land. It cost over $200.00 for the taxi to take him home. As he has only had the care a very short time, there is an extra $1000.00 fee for claiming insurance to have the cars fixed. Oh well. Like I said no one was injured!

With everything going on my mind was not working too well and I accidently left the canary cage open and the two young birds escaped. I feel so sorry for them, it is freezing here overnight. I have left a smaller cage in the patio with food in it in case them come back.

We did have a lovely day yesterday as we finally made it to Renmark. We had been planning that trip for three months. We had a nice meal and a 1 1/2 hour trip on an old steam river boat. It was lovely to forget everything for a while and enjoy the peace of the river.

I'm sorry your older son is going through such a rough time. I wish I had some answers and suggestions for you. It must be so distressing to see him like that.

Do you have time for yourself during the day? If you wanted to go back to bed with a book and a coffee, or even to hide under the covers for a while and have a cry, do you have that opportunity?

Sometimes I am so tired I am beyond myself so go to bed for an hour or two. I don't have the energy them for a walk or anything, and feel much better for it.

I'm hoping fixing this medication business will help as well. This new tablet has me so tired some days I feel like a zombie. My husband thinks it is good in a way as I am not so highly strung! Ha. Ha. A balance would be nice.

So in a while I will be off to work. I hope to do some crocheting tonight that will be calming. Knitting and I do not get along so well. I put holes where there shouldn't be any when I knit. Ha. Ha.

Thanks for this lovely friendship and sharing.

Cheers for now from Lauren

[Doolhof]

Hi Anne,

Hope you are doing okay. It has been a couple of interesting days here that have kept me away from the computer. If you read the post I sent to Indra you will see that my husband has been having a "smashing" time lately...literally.

We finally made it to Renmark and had a wonderful day. I so appreciated everything my husband had planned for us. We had a lovely table in a restaurant over looking the river and the boat trip was wonderful. I was even very cheeky and helped myself to a second serve of the scones! Ha. Ha.

I'm sorry to read about your medical concerns. I hope your Dr is able to sort them out for you. It is difficult when a medication helps one thing but causes problems elsewhere like the paracetamol and your liver.

I can not take anti inflammatory medication for my back as it upsets my stomach in a really bad way. Our bodies are great when they are working well! Ha. Ha.

Yes, it is sometimes difficult to find the humour in an aging and problematic body, but then I tell myself how thankful I am that I am not in a wheel chair.

When my back was really bad, I used to still go bowling, I would use one of those ramps that the children use! I would go with friends. They would pick the ball up for me, put it on the ramp and I would push it!

The other night when we went with friends I decided it just wasn't worth the pain so enjoyed myself watching them and cheering them on.

I do so hope your weekend is going okay and you have found plenty of things to do to keep you busy and entertained.

Speaking of being entertained, it is my birthday near the end of this month. One of my girlfriends who is quite the organiser and a bit controlling, phoned to say she has organised a birthday event for me at her place. I love her to bits and realise she is the way she is, so I will be attending the event she has so generously organised at her home.

I will organise a gathering with family and friends outside of the time my friend has already organised for me.

I'm off to work shortly to help a couple of my elderly clients. I don't receive extra for working a public holiday. We could do with the money right now so I will be thankful I am able to work. Both ladies give me a coffee and like to chat so the time will fly past anyway.

I will take my lunch and have it in a park somewhere and listen to the birds. That will be very pleasant.

Cheers for now from Lauren

[Indra]

Hi Lauren,

So sorry to hear about all of the troubles with your husband's car accident - yes I am glad no one was injured, now just the inconvenience of repair, insurance and being without a vehicle. $200 taxi fare that stings! Happy you enjoyed the trip to Renmark and don't feel guilty about extra scones - you need to treat yourself every now and then.

As for me things have taken  a turn for the worst. My fiancée left us and moved out on Friday. No explanation and a lot of I don't know. It has been a bit devastating - especially for my little one. My older son is away still - really don't know how to break it to him either. It is also clearer now that I am sure (a few things have come to light) that there is someone else involved. I am now in the angry stage, that he couldn't be honest. I should understand this as I went through this before with my ex husband. I finally got some sleep last night after two days with very little. I now know that I am going to be alone for a very long time which is now  sinking in and feels daunting once again. Food is not my friend but at least I am losing some weight!

I do get a little down time when the boys are at kindy and school - it's just night times. I have a weekend off in 2 weeks, but I am dreading being alone for it.

I hope the meds even out for you - I think that is why I have put this off for myself - I need to be fully alert for my boys. I am just working on other strategies. Hope work goes alright for you - that is the hardest part with subcontract.

As I said before I am craft challenged - I would be too frustrated with knitting or crochet lol 

I have had some wonderful support on here and after Tuesday (he picks up his belongings) I can fully move on - he already has.

Friendship matters - I am glad for yours Lauren

Indra 

[Doolhof]

Dear Indra,

Hi. I am so very sorry to read that your fiancé has walked out on you and the boys. I really don't know what to write here that might make you feel any better.

It is a shame he was not able to talk to you and explain how he is feeling and what has caused him to make this decision. As he has left, I don't suppose there will be an opportunity for you to be able to talk this through with him.

Do you have someone who can be with you when the guy comes to pick up his belongings? It might make it easier if someone is there with you.

Understandably you are angry, probably very confused and frustrated as well. Just having another person there might help in case the situation becomes a bit tricky.

I suppose you will have some planning and thinking to do, trying to work out where you go from here.

If you do become too depressed or feel like you are not coping, then please do use the emergency phone help lines.

It is wonderful you feel supported here and I wish there was more I could suggest to you my friend. Seek help and advice where ever you can receive it.

Once again I am so very sorry this has happened.

Thinking of you and the boys, best wishes for a calm day on Tuesday!

From Lauren

[Indra]

Hi Lauren,

I am not planning on being here tomorrow when he comes to collect his stuff. It's all outside - it's just better that way as I don't want it to end in confrontation. I have a lot to get organised now he is gone, so I will be kept busy.

No there is no chance of talking - he has blocked all contact. That part is hurtful - I  haven't bombarded him with messages or anything. I just think now he has things he wants to hide from me. I am just more saddened that he abandoned the boys. That is his choice.

Thank you for the advice and for the comforting words. Tomorrow is a day for mixed emotions.

Take care of yourself too.

Indra 

[Doolhof]

Hi Indra,

I'm so very sorry your relationship has ended this way. It is hard enough for adults to understand let alone your boys. I do so hope you have someone there supporting you through this.

Maybe it is a good thing to not be there when he comes to collect his belongings.

Look after yourself in all of this. Reach out to anyone who is available to help you right now. I will be thinking of you and wishing you well during this upheaval.

Oh dear. I wish had more words to share with you that would help you right now!

Stay strong, love from Lauren