Small achievement you managed to do today....How did it make you feel? Did it help you feel better today?

[Ggrand]

Hi everyone..

Their are days when just getting out of bed is a huge achievement...Other days we can achieve things like washing up the dishes or clothes, sweeping the floors, mopping the floors..very mundane and automatic robot like chores for the mentally well...They do these chores without even thinking about them...for people struggling with their mental health..these are huge tasks...

Very often I’ll get my vacuum cleaner out to vacuum ...then it will sit their for days, me looking at it, walking over it...until I can get motivated enough to vacuum..after I do find the motivation to vacuum...I am pleased with myself...
Right now I have a small foot cycling peddle machine, sitting on my front veranda..I got it out last week..to start exercising..it’s still their, I’m still looking at it...My thoughts each night is I’ll use it for a few minutes tomorrow..

My car hasn’t been washed getting close to a year now I think...Today I did managed to wash it....and discovered that it has a nice shine on it.....I did it...I achieved something positive today..which made me feel better in myself...

Have you achieved a little something today...and how did it make you feel...If you want to share that achievement it might make other people a bit more motivated to achieve something they need/want to do..

Looking forward to hearing about your achievement....and how it made you feel..

Little steps and achievements can lead to bigger steps..and bigger achievements...

My kindest and most caring thoughts...everyone.
Grandy...

[Ggrand]

Hi everyone…

I wish I had someone to visit me so I have a reason to clean…..I am so lazy and can’t find any reason at all why I should….after all it’s just me and lately I just don’t care…

The past few days I haven’t worked have been spent doing nothing…I know in my heart I have to clean and do my housework, but my mind just refuses to attach itself to my heart…

Hugs, Grandy..

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Grandy 🤗

 I understand very much how you feel. I think we are often just tired and our system just needs to let go and not do anything. I find it is often if there is a visitor that I manage to pull out the vacuum cleaner etc. I’m not sure this is laziness. I’ve been through a lot and I know you have too, and I think that difficulty in motivation is often our whole being just saying I need to stop and rest. You have your commitment with work plus you have had pain issues too. That takes a lot out of you. I think we can apply pressure to ourselves based on expectations we might perceive coming from others, or the voices of others in the past who instilled in us ideas about what we think we “should” be doing. That’s probably why we still try so hard if someone is coming to visit. But as one person looking after a home there is only so much we can do in a day and when we are giving of ourselves in other settings sometimes we need to just do nothing (which is still something as it is giving us a rest).

There is a Michael Leunig piece from his book The Curly Pyjama Letters in which Vasco Pyjama writes to Mr Curly asking "what is worth doing and what is worth having?". I can't write out the whole thing which might be a copyright issue, but at the end Mr Curly says:

So I gently urge you Vasco, do as we do in Curly Flat - learn to curl up and rest - feel your noble tiredness - learn about it and make a generous place for it in your life and enjoyment will surely follow. I repeat: it's worth doing nothing and having a rest.

My psychologist sent this to me after my first session with her. I was still very much in the mode of trying to do lots of things when I really desperately needed to stop.

So lovely Grandy, I give you permission to do nothing whenever you want to, for as long as you want to 🙏😌

As for me today, I managed to go for a 20 minute walk. I did drive to the location and my car wouldn't start after the walk which led to me being stranded there for quite a while. I had someone look at my car after I got it started again and while the problem is not yet solved, at least a number of things have been ruled out. I managed to get through those things and make a simple dinner of baked fish and sweet potato.

Big hugs to you Grandy and Everyone else 🤗💕

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Everyone,

Today I was in huge amounts of emotional pain and not well in my body either. I had to lie down for much of the day. But it was a hotter day and I wanted to take the opportunity for an ocean swim. It took huge amounts of effort but I drove down to the nice swimming beach here. I went into the water and was able to swim about a bit and tread water which is good exercise, as well as just stand and enjoy being in the water. There is a greater freedom of movement in the water which supports you, especially the salty ocean which gives a lot of buoyancy. I knew it would help to be in the ocean so glad I got there. After I got out a woman who got out just after me started up a conversation. She was friendly and it’s nice getting to know another person. As I’m so emotional and constantly on the verge of crying at the moment it was a big effort to act normal and be conversational. But I managed to do it. She will be someone else to chat to if I see her down there again.

I’m exhausted now but I know it was good to have a swim. It may help me to sleep better tonight.

Hugs,

ER

[mmMekitty]

Hello Grandy & everyone.

I don't come around to this thread often, I suspect because I still discount my small achievements as being 'nothing', so not worht mentioning.

I have read back over the last month's posts. I have no problem acknowledging the effort Grandy, ER & Quirky (& many more write of in earlier posts), so what about the effort I put in to achieve my small achievements? Why can't I look at what I do exactly as I look at what you do?

I see all of you are worth the effort you put into achieving everything you have. I especially wanted to shout, 'Grandy, what's wrong with cleaning for yourself? Grandy, you are the best reason to do your housework for -  you are worth it, Grandy... & I've been telling myself that for so long, trying to believe I am worth some effort, but still not feeling I am.

When it comes to telling the person who comes to support me in keeping my place clean & hygenic, I struggle telling them what I need & want from them. I find it so very difficult to assert myself in this situation. As my support worker, I am their client, & I 'employ' them through NDIS, to do work for me.

It's so stressful to try.

Today I explained much of this to the OT who comes to visit me to see how things are going, if she can help, including liaise & advocate for me, & I think she understands.

I also had to make phone calls to the energy company about my meter reading & bill/s & having to explain I am blind, etc... it all seems too complicated, & the reason the bill is an 'estimated' amount had nothing to do with me, but they expect me to do all the work to investigate - sending a photo or getting someone to look at it & write down all the info for them... is the possible difference in what's owing to the energy company worth so much effort? & when they realised there was a problem with how the person took & sent the info through, why didn't they get someone else to come & take the reading again? Why wait for me to bring up the issue? I feel too frustrated to try anymore, because this also includes amended bills from last year!

So, sometimes, choosing to do nothing is completely understandable & reasonable.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Eagle Ray]

Dear MK,

 I understand very much why you get to the point of not continuing to follow things up. I have been in the dark in my kitchen for more than a year because the winding mechanism is broken on an external shutter. I’ve made multiple attempts to contact tradespeople to fix it, with the only specialists to do this from neighbouring towns. No one has been willing to come to my town and palms it off by saying ring this person instead. I ring that person who just doesn’t return calls. So during the day I just have to turn the light on in my kitchen to see. I have no strength to follow it up anymore. I’m just not well enough. Maybe one day, but not now.

 I think it’s a huge challenge for those of us living alone with both mental and physical health challenges. We can be exhausted at times and either do not have an advocate or, if we do as you have explained MK, it is often a case of having to try to speak up for our needs or keep reiterating our needs which can feel stressful.

I have managed to fix and solve a few things myself with the help of YouTube. It’s amazing how you can learn to do almost anything from YouTube! I even learned how to separate two buckets that are stuck together 😂 But there are still some things that I’ve needed help with that stay unresolved because I do not have the strength to keep trying.

However, what you say MK about being worth it - we are all actually worth it, and maybe that is part of my issue too that I don’t value myself enough to keep trying. I think how much effort I put into helping others but don’t feel able to do the same at times for myself. I will go to help my elderly neighbour with her computer issues and I will keep going until I’ve achieved what she needs. For me that is a lifelong pattern that started in childhood where I was expected to meet others needs but not be aware of and respond to my own needs.

Perhaps what is needed, for me anyway in terms of what might help (and maybe others would find helps them), is a daily practice of meditating on “I am worth it”, kind of retraining my brain to know I matter and assert myself to get the help I need. I even cringe at the statement “I am worth it”, which shows how little I can value myself and the awful things internalised from my childhood and life experiences.

Anyway, thank you MK, as I think you have helped me see my own pattern. Just total exhaustion and fatigue is a huge issue for me as well. It is why I sometimes just need to lie on a rock by the ocean or sit in a forest and “just be”. I know I frequently dissociate and that is a lifelong pattern of overwhelm. So I think every small achievement is significant and matters and we can celebrate those small achievements. We can also be proud of ourselves for resting and leaving things when we need to as an act of self-care.

Hugs,

ER

[HappySheep]

Hi Grandy,

I don't have any advice for you because I also know what it's like to just not be able to do stuff. I also know that it's OK to not do stuff when you're not up to it.  It has nothing to do with being lazy. Allow yourself to be unwell. Allow yourself to have a break. There are no rules about needing to have a clean house.

I know all the advice would be: don't think of cleaning the house, think of one little part of cleaning the house that you can bring yourself to do - i.e. fold the clothes or wash the dishes. Then the next day do another one. But I also know that things like this are very easy to say and much harder to put into practice. It may help to lower your goals for today.

I did want to share with you, that you have inspired me today.  So thank you for that.  I've spent the last week figuratively hiding under the bed - not able to do the chores I should be doing nor even able to do the basics I know are supposed to pull my head back together - i.e. exercise, eat properly and meditate. This discussion popped up and I read your original post and read today's comment and I empathise totally. I was there with you and have been all week - but you inspired me to make one small goal and accomplish it. So I have. I've just come back from a very slow and wobbly run. But I did it! And I did it because your post and your comments, and the replies of others here, inspired me.

So, while you're looking at your unclean house, please be kind to yourself. Sometimes we're just not well and that's OK.  Even so, you've made a difference in my life today - I'd be happy to pop round and mop your floors in return. Thank you for being here.

[mmMekitty]

Hi ER, & everyone 

Speaking of computers ... following yet another update, some of my computer's settings have been altered -  i've been trying to sort out the mess & reset my settings so the screen appears like I want it to again. Some of it does, but I'm struggling to set the website settings so the background is dark, the font light, the some highlighted things to NOT be that vivid blue, but another colour of my choice, ... this website is so difficult right now, with the screen looking so bright. It's irritating, so I can't be online much until I figure out what I need to do or call someone in to sort it all out again,for a fee... 

I wanted to find some more books to listen to, as well. I thought I'd found a long set of three books, but last night, when I  thought I'd try & find out if I'll enjoy, (with no ads, I hope), but a notice came up saying it was a private video.... ? on a public site? Irks me. So this morning I closed up everything & did the update....

Went to the gym, which has been the best thing I've done all day.

Hugzies

mmMekitty 

[mmMekitty]

Hello  HappySheep

(Woe, I missed your post. So you get a reply just for you). WELLDONE! 😺 How did you feel when you noticed you had achieved your wobbly rum? I'm doing exercise, but I'm not up to any running, not with these joints of mine, so I am a tad jealous. With the running, I like the idea of being able to look behind yourself & literally see how far you were able to run.

I get whingy  about getting sweaty, but when I am home again & have had a shower, a change of clotheses, I can then take time to acknowledge the work-out I was able to do today & it feels good.

I remind myself, this is something I do for myself, my health, mentally as well as physically, so in the years ahead, I can enjoy better health than I otherwise might have.

Hugzies, with much encouragement

mmMekitty

[HappySheep]

It felt good. Just as Grandy's original post said it would. It's nowhere near the exercise I'm supposed to be doing (I've committed to two serious sporty things in the next couple of months) - but it doesn't matter. It's a whole lot better than I've managed to do for the last couple of weeks - and that's all that counts.

Getting off the couch - for the win!

I don't know what sort of books you listen to but I swear by Borrowbox - Bolinda audio books through my local library.  Free and fabulous.

[Eagle Ray]

Hello MK, Happy Sheep, Grandy and All,

I wish I could be there to help with your computer MK. I am on a Mac and anything I try to suggest from here may not be accurate. Happy Sheep's mention of the local library just made me think of that as an option, as there is often an IT person at local libraries who will give some assistance on such matters. Except with a desktop unlike a laptop you can't take it in to them. Do you think any of your support workers may be able to help?

I'm glad you got your trip to the gym. Physical exercise can be very therapeutic, especially after dealing with frustrating computer matters! Happy Sheep's suggestion of the audio books through the library could be really good too. Do you listen to the books via your phone or computer? The local library may be able to set up audiobooks on your phone for you if you wanted to use that.

Happy Sheep I'm so glad you got to do your run and you feel better for it. Sometimes it is just one thing isn't it that lifts us a bit and makes us feel better that day. I love your name Happy Sheep 🙂

I hope things are going ok with you Grandy 🤗

I had a big sleep this afternoon for 4 hours! I must have really needed it as I've been sleeping very little at night for a long time. I feel like my sleep was an achievement. I also went to the shops and stocked up for a few days.

Take care and hugs to everyone,

ER