Positivity - how much is to much?

[MarkJT]

I know from my experience that being and in lower times trying to be positive is part of every day activities. I have a great support crew around me that help me by being positive but have you ever got to a point that others, that mean well, but get annoying with it?

I'm not talking about the "just think happy thoughts" people, but you are caught in the middle as you know they mean well but generally have little understanding what it is like living in the darkness. Positivity is such a crucial part to recovery and continual well being but when does it become to much? How do you handle those people that are like that? How do you stay positive? How do you flip a negative into a positive?

[Cornstarch]

You can't teach life experience mate.

Ignorance truly is bliss.

If I'm having a really bad day, people like that I am sorry to say just give me the shits. That's a bad day.

It literally makes me feel like I orbit a parallel universe, I don't go looking to find my car (I don't actually own one anymore), I wander around looking for my Space-ship. Because I'm telling you now the breadth of life experience feels as wide as wide can be some days and the feelings of isolation sucks.

I try and console myself remembering that, not always, but often, I am having what I describe as an "emotional flashback". I am literally re-living the loneliness I experienced at the horrifying time. Viscerally it feels identical in my body and I don't always want to return there.

But I get no choice...........

People mean well, they really do, but it is tough.

[white knight]

Hi Mark. Great topic, thankyou.

I didn't realise as a child u was brought up in a very negative household. It dawned on my way back in 1982. For details please read (google)

Topic: 30 minutes can change your life- beyondblue

From then on the world couldn't stop my new vigour.

However, with a few following years being over the top with career projection's I realised that being positive was great, really great, the only way to live, but one has to be realistic as well.

We've all heard people say "you too can do anything you out your mind to". Well no, if we put our mind to being prime minister we better have a plan B. If like I did at 17yo joined the RAAF to be a pilot...and didn't have a secondary preferred occupation, you can fall flat on your face, end up in jobs not suited to you etc.

Equipped with my positive (fighting) attitude of life I tried every motivational asset in my soul to break the depressive cycle. Little did I know that research found around 2014 that depressive cycles aren't easily severed and the best technique is to allow your cycle to " run its course".

So Mark, the best attitude is to find positives in all negatives and focus on those positives.

"Gee, its raining and it's Thursday"...." Likely it will blow away and be sunny by the weekend"

Realistically positive is how I like it. And tell your friends to be the same.

Tony WK

[MarkJT]

Cornstarch - I like the phrase "emotional flashback". Thankfully i am on a pretty good path at the moment and can generally counter flashbacks when i get triggered however there are the times when i think back to how low i was and causes some discomfort. Was never able to label it before but certainly can now - having an emotional flashback. Thanks for that. Makes it easier for me when i can identify what is going on.

Whiteknight - I have never been one for "the smallest drop in the ocean makes the biggest wave". BS it does, lets be realistic about it and this kind of fits in with "you can do anything you want to do". I want to be the Quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks, cant see that happening! It's okay to have dreams and to work hard and realise them but back up plans are essential. "Realistically positive". Love it.

I always try and flip though and with the rain scenario, i think its great as the farmers are getting some water for their crops and i get to run in the rain which is as soothing as anything going.

Thank you to both of you, I now have two really good sayings to add to the arsenal.

[Karam]

Hi Mark,

I am one of those who have a set friends that I cry to when I get negative but then over-think that they may not appreciate it when they actually do. So, I started doing a few things which helped me a lot, which kept me positive and my mind occupied:

1. I started exercising regularly - going for my runs, going to the gym - everything that makes me exhale out of all the anxiety and pain and inhale positivity - even a walk in the park is very effective. Its the one time where you train your mind to hit a goal and you will hit a goal (finishing off the exercise) and you will feel great about it. You will start feeling positive as you realise that you can beat anything that is in front of you

2. I also found personally going for a long drive helped - it helped me clarify my thoughts, give me the alone time and the space that I need

3. I also tend to go to the beach in wee hours where I can soak in the sunrise while watching the waves hit the beach. The sound of waves is very calming and provides an excellent avenue to let stress out. Shouting at the top of the hill near the beach is amazing - bascially anything that makes you feel that you are throwing out a heavy burden will help 🙂

[blondguy]

Hi Mark

Tony is spot on with 'Realistically Positive'.....So true.

I am a glass half full person. Even with long term depression it could be one hell of a lot worse in many other ways

Being 'Gentle' with ourselves takes time to master but does work very well. When the aids health commercial come out in the mid '80s a current affairs show interviewed a dying 9 year old girl in hospital with full blown HIV as a result of a blood transfusion.

All she wanted was a new teddy.

I really have nothing to complain or overthink about.

Great topic Mark

Kind thoughts

Paul