One year sober today

[Roberty_Bob]

Probably the single most important action I've taken to manage my depression.

[Doolhof]

Congratulations Robert! This is quite an achievement. Well done to you.

Would you like to share with others how you have managed to do this? Some people may benefit greatly and it may give them hope to do the same thing.

As a young person I drank a lot and it was not unusual for me to be drunk by mid morning. One day while at the beach, I almost drowned myself as I was so drunk and went swimming.

I dived under a wave then for the life of me (almost literally) couldn't work out which way was up. For some reason I found this to be very funny and started to laugh under water, not a good idea.

Taking in loads of ocean, I managed to cough and splutter my way to the surface and decided drinking was ridiculous and there must be something to live for.

I was sober for years. Now I enjoy a drink now and then, it is only one and may not be more than one or two a month.

Once again congratulations to you for being able to stop drinking for a whole year.

From Dools

[White_Rose]

My congratulations also Robert. That's a long journey you've taken.

Like Dools, I wonder if you could share some of your journey and the actions you have taken to stay sober. Even if alcohol is not the problem, those with other addictions may be able to use your story for inspiration and incorporate your ideas into their recovery.

Well done mate.

Mary

[geoff]

well Robert, a mammoth effort to achieve, especially if you are suffering from depression, as doing this must have been on your mind whatever the circumstances were.
There were many times when I did abstain while I was married, and times when I was living alone but still married, and each time there was a reason on each ocassion it lasted 2-3 months.
Sometimes it was because my wife wanted me to, but that was not always the case, but there were times when I felt as though I would just to please her, which it did.
I don't think that it would be appropriate for me to continue on with what happened to me, because this is your post and congratulations are in order for this great achievement.
In this comment by me is there anything that could relate back to you, just curious only. Geoff.

[Roberty_Bob]

Thanks for your congratulations. Dools and Mary, I'm more than happy to share my approach to recovery. It is embarrassingly easy but bloody difficult at the same time. This sort of addresses what I think Geoff is saying.

This time around I made the decision to become sober *by* myself, that is no one told me to do it. Also I made the decision to become sober *for* myself, that is not for my family, my friends, my colleagues, etc. That was the easy part and I have since read that this is pretty much the only way to make it work long term. The hard part was to see that I was worth doing this for. For reasons probably better explained in other threads I suffer from low self esteem. However, the longer I remained sober the better I felt about my myself and the more inclined I was to stay sober. A cycle of self hatred leadind to drinking was replaced by a cycle of sobriety leading to feeling content.

I then started the nitty-gritty of abstinence. Cognititive bahaviour therapy, exercise and diet as a substitute, mindfulness techniques. Online and face to face group therapy. Psychologist and psychiatrist. Support from family and friends. Losing those people who did not support my goal.

I still have my hard days but I have tools in place to deal with them.

[geoff]

dear Robert, thanks for your reply I don't know what you do when the time comes to have a drink, but when I wasn't drinking the first thing I would do is drink a large glass of fizzy drink, like lemonade or whatever you like, that will fill up your tummy and then perhaps have something to eat, so as long as your tummy feels as though it's full then the urge to drink lessens so much. Geoff.

[White_Rose]

I do most heartily agree with you about making this decision for yourself. It truly is the the only motivation that carries you through these times. I find this applies to me, not because of alcohol but eating food that is bad for me. Oh yes, it tastes nice and I love it but it makes me uncomfortable and reduces my ability to manage my depression.

So a couple of months I decided on a good all-round diet that gave me the proper things to eat and went for it. And it is working. As a side benefit I am also losing a bit of weight. But I know how much better I feel by avoiding sugar for instance. I really find it hard to believe that sugar has done so much damage in my life. And like drinking or gambling, it only takes one chocolate biscuit to send me back to square one.

I'll let you know when I get to my first sugar free anniversary.

Mary

[Roberty_Bob]

Totally true Mary. I believe that I can use the same techniques for any behavioural change. It also worked to quit smoking. 

[Doolhof]

Hi All and thanks for your positive comments on quitting something for your own benefit and no one elses.

One of the problems I have is that I forget that I had planned to go for a walk every day!

I forget that I have a pedal exercise contraption for when it is too hot to walk.

I forget that I have stretches to do every day to help my back.

I write notes, then forget to read my notes, or I read them then forget that I need to do something relating to what I have read regarding exercise!

More self discipline, determination, perseverance, enthusiasm and remembering to put my plans for better health into action are things I still need to work on!

Hey Mary...a year without sugar! I would like to witness that!

[Kazzl]

From one sober person to another - my heartfelt congratulations Bob. I know the struggles you been through my friend. Everything you've said in this thread resonates with me, you are so right, especially about having to do it for yourself.

Are you going to do something special or give yourself a treat to mark the occasion? (I got a tattoo - Picasso's dove of peace, because for me it signified making peace with myself. It's my permanent reminder to never drink again.)

Feels good doesn't it. Savour that feeling mate.

Oh, by the way, there is a thread on here called Battling the booze, set up to help others who are struggling. It's not very active at the moment, but it's there if people need it. If you want to, could you help me keep an eye on it in case we can help a fellow traveller?

Well done Bob.