New poster struggling with life and self-worth

[MiguelS]

Hi all,

New poster,

30 year old male...thought I'd join these forums as part of my process to tackle my long term issues with anxiety and depression which I've left unaddressed for quite sometime, recently turned 30 and the last 2-3 years things are gradually becoming worse, I think my depression over the past 2-3 days has hit an all time low. As of today, I don't even know if I can talk to friends, family or even go to work...I can't sleep, loss of appetite, low sex drive, drug and alcohol addiction, brain fog the works and feel incredibly lonely.

Struggle with confidence in myself which has forced me to live as a single man all my life, even though I would consider myself attractive and do well financially. The thing is, people do like me but I do struggle to make real friends and relationships. Just the other day I had a date, first in a few years, things went well over a few drinks, things led to the bedroom needless to say I was left completely embarrassed and now she's completely lost interest, it's been the nail in the coffin the last two days may have been the most difficult in my life. My workload for next week is incredibly intense and I'm not in a position where I can take time off, I don't know what to do anymore....today I went to pay a visit to my folks thinking spending time with family would do me some good but I hardly felt like talking, on the way home I started tearing up.

I'm making steps in trying to tackle it, I've had my first session with a psychologist which I'm hoping to do once a week..I've seen a few in the past but didn't get much from it although I feel this one is a winner. I haven't exercised in a good 6 months or so so today I joined a new gym in hopes a new atmosphere might encourage me to work out more. Trying to clean up my diet/lifestyle and minimize drug/alcohol intake, being sober is very difficult but having enough confidence to go without it is my ultimate goal. The thought of being in this same position in 15-20 years terrifies me, I'm not sure I could go on much longer if I kept this lifestyle up.

Hopefully I didn't break any rules, I just wanted to get my thoughts and feelings out there, so thanks for reading.

[geoff]

Hello Migues, I'm sorry it's been late for someone to contact you, but at times the forum gets busy, so your thread might go from page 1 to page 2 quickly, so it's temporarily missed until someone catches it, my apologies.

I'm sorry for the way you are feeling but pleased you have had a session with a psychologist, however, can I just mention that no one can overcome how they're feeling with one session, it takes a couple to gain confidence with each other, so you can then feel comfortable to open up.

You could feel as though your family and/or friends may not want to talk with you because you might be frightened of what they have to say, but this doesn't mean you can't open the door for them to help you.

With your embarrassment which I'm so sorry for, means that you should go and see your doctor, who will do a blood test and check out various levels to increase your drive.

What you are doing is great, going to the gym, eating better and trying to cut down on the alcohol/drugs is a way to start.

I'm pleased that you want to cut your grog intake to zero but know that this is not an easy feat, especially at the moment, however. I'm inspired by your confidence.

Just do one of these before you start another one, get used to going to the gym or if you decide to improve your food intake then concentrate on this, because if you do them all at once, it maybe too overpowering.

I can help you with your alcohol intake as I was once using alcohol a long time ago, now I only drink socially, but never used drugs, the principle would be similar.

Let's take it slowly and hope others can join the conversation.

Geoff.

[IsaJett]

Hey Miguel

i have been there ...brain fog ...lol not even sure how I was doing my daily tasks ..almost like an aimless zombie .

but I did “hot “ yoga . And it saved me .

one hour and it changed me well for that hour at least ...but. I did a 2 week trail ...and it got me out of the brain fog almost instantly . So I reckon give that a crack . It’s so calming ..I had a whole heap of stuff going on back then ..like traumatic stuff ..not even worth mentioning now ...lol

make sure u do the hot yoga though .something about 5he hot temperature or the sweaty bodies in there ...lol ...haha I don’t know but it saved me and I hope it can get you some relief ..I suggest doing it during lunch over

[MiguelS]

Thanks for the reply Geoff, as far seeing a psychologist it's something I plan on doing at least once a fortnight. It's pretty affordable with the medicare rebate. I appreciate the kind words.

[geoff]

Hi Miguel, thanks heaps for replying it's always good to get someone to get back to us, so thank you.

I'm not sure but have you asked your doctor if they give you a 'mental health plan', this entitles you to 10 free sessions with your psychologist, and after that finishes you can ask your psych if they can bulk bill you, even if the session is shorter than normal.

Hope this helps you.

Geoff.

[chap10]

Hey There Miguel S

I could have written this post almost word for word. I'm in the same boat as you. I'm 25 and I feel like I'm completely wasting my life. I haven't seen my friends in a long time because being around people when I'm like this feels impossible. I've been trying to remain sober too, as drinking and drugs have been an issue for me as well. The only way forward I see is to be completely sober. I know how hard that is when you don't feel you have the confidence to do it. To socialize, date, etc sober in a world where drinking is encouraged and embraced is very hard but it can be done.

I am at the point of taking medication again, as I've been trying to white-knuckle it through life lately, and I feel like a cart with square wheels. I can physically force myself to do the things I need to do, exercise, study etc.. But it is very difficult and I still don't feel well enough to be around people. I can't remember the last time I laughed. Even smiling feels very awkward and I have to fake it.

I don't have any advice, I just wanted to chime in to let you know you're not alone, and that you're problems aren't unique, they very closely mirror my own. And I'm sure heaps of young men are in the same boat. I'm sure you probably know this already and I'm not sure it brings you any comfort.

Looks like this post was over a month ago...

Are you still kicking about here? how are you travelling?