Hey all, new to here so might not be the best structured post but wanted to a share a little about my life struggles and some things that helped me overcome them so here goes:
When I was growing up I moved back to Australia when I was about 12 to live with my dad. His girlfriend at the time was pretty horrible to me and would say things such as”No wonder your mother didn’t want you” and other stuff that no child should have to endure. It was fairly consistent and fairly brutal and it got to the point where I ended up pulling the pin out of my door handle on my room and spending most of my time locked in my room away from her basically in solitude or I would go over to my next door neighbours house and stay with them sometimes overnight etc. Eventually when I was 14 I moved in with my sister and her partner everything was good for a while but eventually I saw the dark side of him(I had seen it when visiting before but not to this extent) he became physically and verbal abusive towards her in front of me and my niece who was only a toddler at the time. I lived with this for about 2-3 years also copping some physical and verbal abuse from him myself in this time before I decided to run away from home. All of this lead me to live a life where I tried to avoid conflict and keep everyone happy hiding my own needs and feelings in the process. Due to this I suffered from Anxiety and Depression and still sometimes do my relationships with the opposite sex were unhealthy because I would always try my hardest to please in turn making myself come across needy and clingy. I recently wrote out my own suicide not and considered actually following through before speaking to a friend who ended up putting me onto a podcast called “the mindset mentor” hosted by Rob Dial. I started listening to this and implementing his advice into the way I think and I began reading self help books such as “the subtle art of not giving a f**k” By Mark Manson I soon came to realise that all of these thoughts in my head I could actually change them given the right amount of effort and a steer in the right direction. It was only a month or less ago that I wrote my own suicide note and I’ve already had close family and friends comment on how this is the happiest they have seen me. I felt disconnected from my friends and family because I didn’t want to be vulnerable and I have managed to turn that around and hope my message can help others in similar positions realise it’s achievable
