My appoach and belief

[twistnchurn]

I'd like to start off by saying that this is my journey and what i have come to understand. We've all had it tough and we all have it differently.
-Firstly, my background does not explore or even mention feelings such as love or what not. Sadness, depression are all categorized as one big disease if you like. I've grown up most my life without my dad and i slowly realized the vital values and teachings a father passes onto his child are very important,.

-From being extremely social to borderline psycho, if you will, i've learned a thing or two transitioning across the spectrum. i've concluded that we only believe to what we are exposed to. That self-acceptance is a major factor to 'true' happiness, and exposure in all aspects of life is extremely important. By exposure i mean putting yourself out there, slowly at first. Overcoming our fears, i believe fear gives room for growth, i hate to be comfortable and fearless. Probably why adrenaline rush junkies are who they are lol. But anyway In my journey being very social was the peak of my happiness, being used to exchanging ideas, familiar with other peoples interpretations, confident within ourselves. But in that life i had to learn a couple of things, in that life i didnt know what struggle was. You could tell i've been just one happy kid this whole time. I hated that, i wanted struggle, i wanted to be at rock bottom just so i could rise up again. Lost my girlfriend, lost my license, lost alot of friends, domino's effect, one by one till i was at home for 18 months without my license and all that jazz with it. Hit rock bottom, trial and error on myself consistently to break this. Long story short opposite to the typical, 'depression' belief, i believe that this is one big journey, one big lesson, the process of becoming a man and a million other titles religiously or not for self growth. i've always questioned and paused for a moment for those people who were so insightful in areas such as this, did they go through hell aswell.

-Respect respect respect, i am now respectful of all people, unlike my previous self. I never understood alot of things nor did i care, why refugees all had similar personalities, why races have such strong views and another thousand questions all shared the same theory, fear, unfamiliar, anxiety etc.

-Giving to the homeless, gives great gratification.

Anyway there just the positives i've gained over the past 2 years. I'm 22 now. Yeah sure i can focus on all the suicidal thoughts, all my social anxieties, insecurities, 'judgmental people' (which is a form of your own insecurities anyway) in this post but i don't feel the need too, 6 months ago i would have. I think if my train of thought can make me content and hopeful for the future i think it might just help others. I have a fairly complex mind, but don't we all.

Just my 5 cents

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Dear Mr Twist,

Just my 5 cents ?  More like 10 cents.   Good post.   You've coped well growing up without a dad.  There was a lot of positivity.  Well done.

I'm always concerned when we identify "judgemental people".   It seems to be only possible to do this if we, too, are judgemental.  Maybe if one is aware of judging judgemental types then we are balancing out the negative.  Not sure.  Anyone ?

Adios, David.

[Memsy]

Thanks sweety for your five cents it means more than you know to those of us that have had to deal with this

So thankyou for the recognigtion

[twistnchurn]

You're right david  about the 'judgmental people', although in the end it doesn't matter what people think. At least that was what i was told, hard to fathom right?
I knew it was true just hard to grasp, the truth can be told, but it means nothing until it becomes realized.

Initially on my journey, my insecurities and not being able to love myself lead me to believe everybody was judging me, no matter where i went. In effect slowly withdrawing from social events and even family stuff. And on my journey i have realized self love is the key. The only way to not care about other peoples opinions. So now i go day to day becoming healthier through diet, activities(swimming, fishing), exercise, i haven't put myself socially out there yet but when i do, i wanna be the best version of myself.

15 cents now? =P i hope i dont get taxed

And thanks Memsy
I'm really glad you found this helpful, i actually didn't know what to write initially.