Mindfulness: What Is It? (Even if you dont know please post so we can help grow the forums accordingly)

[blondguy]

Hi Everybody

This is only the basic dictionary definition...

"Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment without judgement"

• Please be as blunt you wish....If you dont have an idea about mindfulness it would be great if you could let us know
• If mindfulness hasnt worked/or is too broad a concept for you it would great if you can let us know your thoughts too
• If mindfulness has helped you, please help others to help themselves by posting how you have embraced this mindset

It goes without saying that the forums are a judgement free zone and I really hope that everyone can jump in and have their say

Your input is highly valued no matter how you respond to this topic. There are no experts here...New Posters are Most Welcome!!

My Kindest Thoughts

Paul

[quirkywords]

Grandy,

You are always so welcome here with your insights.

I know people here who have a clear understanding about mindfulness and what is and I still struggle.

Some say it is thinking about nothing, and others calming and I apologise if I have misunderstood.

I can relate to your story about not paying attention to the cooking and so you got burnt.

When my children were small , I would burn so many saucepans because I did not concentrate on the cooking as I had other things to do like the laundry and watching the children helping with homework.

I appreciate that focussing on one thing may not the definition of mindfulness.

I do think that in this day when we are busy doing many things at once, it is good to be reminded to focus on one thing so we don't get overwhelmed.

Grandy thanks for your post.

Quirky

[MyLadyGirl]

Hello Ggrand,

Your are most welcome to join the forum even though you are off and on. Love to have a good ideas along.

The way you wrote have given a wonderful example of mindfulness. And I agree with Quirk different people have different though what is mindfulness. What you said about enjoying your chores doing it with enjoying your self means giving your self a calm mind thinking only want thing at the moment. Not getting extracted by other things. When you enjoy your work it means that you are being mindfulness to that enjoyment and nothing is disturbing you. Love the way you said it.

[blondguy]

Hi Grandy and everyone 🙂

Thankyou for your great post and being a part of the discussion too 🙂

Grandy mentioned "I always thought that mindfulness was about calming our minds..which I do most days as I watch and feed the birds..also I love watching the clouds drifting by" Keeping it simple yet very effective!

my kindest always

Paul

[MyLadyGirl]

Hello Paul,

I am so delightful that you understand my post and want to know more.

But before I write and explain what I mean, I would like to mention that this is my point of review and understanding from what I have been going through and am going through. I am not perfect even though I write in this post and I am testing this theory within myself. Not all understand my theory and not all agree to what I post and I wish to apoloigise in advance.

Limitation to oneself mean limiting our mind to one thing only. Like your topic 'mindfulness' is a wide topic with various view and understanding. I respect and grateful what every one posted here based on their experience through out their life and environment. This is limitation to what they think. Even if some one say that midfulness is blah blah blah, they will not except as that's what they one to believe and accept.

This is also similar to mental illness with people. I truly understand of what your going through (even I can't be in your shoes but can relate to certain manner) . I am truly honored and respect that the battle that you are going through just to have a wonderful life. However, because the mind has been given to certain degree to think like that way saying the depression, anxiety nor other illness has given great downfall to our life we intend to believe that. That's what we want to believe. Similarity, we go to doctor to get cured. To get cured, we take med. And then the doctor said you need to take med cause it makes you calm down and your illness will reduced. Yes that's right. So we take med believing the doc. That's it and we seek doctor for help to talk about our problem. That's limiting one mindset. Why can't we believe that there is more to that. Why can't we said that because I rely myself to medical treatment I am limiting myself into that intellectual way. Yes I know that it's not a overnight to solve the illness that goes on. It takes along time until we believe to our self. We only want to thinks that way only because of the circumstances of our surrounding, people, our behavior, our ego and etc. Stop!!! Stop putting a limit to your self and giving an excuse to oneself saying we can't do it. When we decided to expend the limitation of our illness and go beyond, stop looking back and saying I have this illness for 20 years blah blah blah and blah. Yes we tell people of our experience just to see we been through the same way but different method.

[MyLadyGirl]

Example myself, I know my problem is not a huge issue as some but it's' how I look into it. My partner loves to help others by giving them hope that there is relationship out there that can make them happy where they think that they are not failure. They become depression, anxiety and etc thinking they are not good in relationship, having a family and etc. Knowing that my partner is doing good I should accept it even though I feel so jealous, depress, hate and etc. This make us argue and show my tantrum of being violence where threaten to call the police (but never). I hate of what I am and because my partner does not show an emotional ignore and just play games does best. This makes me furious. Knowing that I make myself or to say limiting myslf to negative emotional feeling, I try overcome it. I learn that I need to stop if not i will become more depressed and some how I may end up living in miserable life. From my behavior, I learned that because I was limiting to myself to what I was surrounded, I try to keep quiet and believe in trust and understanding towards this relationship. I may take time as from different culture I can't understand the intention and meaning of doing it where when your committed to one, one should not flirt or deceived another person by saying they are single when they are in relationship nor updating dating profiles still saying 'single'. As of today I still can't understand and accept it as it's hard because every time I think about it, I feel anger in me, depression, anxiety , suspicious and etc. I hate of what I am and become as I am never like this. Therefore I start to stop and enjoy what life brings me. Like being part of the group sharing what my life. Not limiting my feeling and being open to people even people criticized or think otherwise.

As I said earlier this is what I am learning about not limiting myself to what I have become. I need to learn that my behavior is more to that. Similar to becoming a gold medalist in Olympic. Limiting not thinking I am a failure without learning that I can do it. If I can that's great if not fine.

[blondguy]

Hi Everyone!

Hey MLG.. You do have an understanding of mindfulness and your contribution is always welcome

MyLadyGirl mentioned "Stop putting a limit to your self and giving an excuse to oneself saying we can't do it. When we decided to expend the limitation of our illness and go beyond, stop looking back and saying I have this illness for 20 years blah blah blah and blah"

I really dont think that I have seen anyone on the forums place limitations on themselves. I am a realist and worked successfully in corporate when I used to have chronic anxiety and medicated for over 30 years

Im not really sure what you mean in your post. It may be taken the wrong way by some members that are new to experiencing an anxiety health condition which we dont want. Being positive is a wonderful dynamic yet chronic anxiety/depression is also a physiological illness as it is chemically based in its structure

Being a realist....(and truthful)....I used to have chronic anxiety for over 30 years and the severity has reduced

If you can provide some helpful examples of when you use mindfulness to benefit your own mindset the members on the forums will only benefit 🙂

You are also always welcome to start your own thread topic if you wish as you will have replies that are more specific to any health issues you are experiencing

please be gentle to yourself and help us stay on topic

my kind thoughts

Paul

[MyLadyGirl]

hello blondguy.

My apologies if you see my post in a wrong way to you and many people in this forum. What I am trying to say is in general point of view not relating to anyone nor anybody. I am just merely saying my point of view as I have experience it . However, I realized that my view has interpreted and offended you in many way. I do not wish to hurt and make anyone likewise reading this post think otherwise. If I do and had offended you as well as others I do sincerely apologies. I thankful for your kind words and patient of which had lead you to discomfort of me writing here. I am truely sorry for my action and words. I once again apologise for my words and thoughts.

[blondguy]

Hi MyLadyGirl

you posts are just as important as mine or anyone else's on the forums and no apologies necessary:-) Its great to have you as part of the forum family MyLadyGirl!

Just so we can give the new members a chance to post it would be great to have any examples of mindfulness you find that are beneficial to yourself....and then we can all learn from your life experience

Thankyou again for your wonderful support you have kindly provided to other members MLG 🙂

my kindest

Paul

[therising]

Hi Paul and everyone else

I find the phrase 'Mind your Ps and Qs' to be relevant for me and my state of mindfulness, now that I've put my own spin on it. I like to think of this phrase as 'Mind or look after your moments of peace and quiet'. In this sense, by looking after my manners and my behaviour I find there to be moments that require me to listen deeply to what others say (not interrupt for my own satisfaction) and moments where expressing how I feel is relevant (a bit like a psychological slap in the face or wake-up call for someone). Couple of examples:

• If someone appears angry with me, if I listen intently, I may hear the hurt in their voice and therefor come from the heart in order to help heal that hurt. Peace and quiet (from the chattering mind that brings us down) can be the result
• If someone is behaving in a narcissistic manner, I may feel the need to remind them that life cannot be shared wholeheartedly when self service is the objective. If they insist on their own way, I may decide to leave them in peace. The result is I live in peace without them. I give myself distance from them because I deserve it. Self love of this nature can be difficult to achieve at times, especially if we've come to rely on this person in some way

In both cases, peace and quiet is the objective.

Minding our manners and behaviour does not mean we should be seen and not heard, as we may have been taught when we were young. I believe it means minding the manner of our natural self, a self who has the right to be heard. It was once natural for us to ask 'Why?' all the time, when we were tots. When told often enough to to stop asking why, we may no longer question others and, instead, go on to forever question 'Why is life so unfair?' Life is unfair when we are gradually stripped of our natural self, for various reasons.

In those moments, when we do find peace and quiet, we come back to our natural self. Whether it's gardening in nature, challenging others to find better behaviour (instead of treating us poorly), going on some adventure or even patting our pet lovingly, in these moments we are re-membering our true self (aka bringing our self back together, after it has been taken apart).

🙂

[MyLadyGirl]

Hi Paul,

I understand your point and how or what I experiences can can benefit to others life. When I say that I have been fighting from illness and depression for a long time. I always find and excuse and gave up lots of things in my life and I do not like what I see.. Then as the days goes by I learned that when someone has the same problem I become down. I loose my self. Then I decided to throw all it away and start new not looking back. I tried to find peace and help others. And that's what I want to say. I always limit myself to a way that I feel fear. So now when I talk to people and relate it to my illness I tell the adventure but I never look back or recall them.

TR,

What is say is so true. Peace and quiet. I learn that once. For mind to be peace and quiet to find mindfulness P and Q is important. That's why I do yoga where I find peace for myself. Quiet within me so that I do not interrupt what I believe. Meditation is what I gain and to obtain P and Q. Thanks TR for the lovely said word