Mindfulness: What Is It? (Even if you dont know please post so we can help grow the forums accordingly)

[blondguy]

Hi Everybody

This is only the basic dictionary definition...

"Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment without judgement"

• Please be as blunt you wish....If you dont have an idea about mindfulness it would be great if you could let us know
• If mindfulness hasnt worked/or is too broad a concept for you it would great if you can let us know your thoughts too
• If mindfulness has helped you, please help others to help themselves by posting how you have embraced this mindset

It goes without saying that the forums are a judgement free zone and I really hope that everyone can jump in and have their say

Your input is highly valued no matter how you respond to this topic. There are no experts here...New Posters are Most Welcome!!

My Kindest Thoughts

Paul

[quirkywords]

Hi Mrs D

Did you not tell the psychologist as you felt it was private.?

Mark

just when I thought I had a handle on mindfulness you now have confused me.

I thought the whole idea of mindfulness is you had to concentrate and try to stop thinking about other distractions. Now you say you can do some mindfulness and not know you are doing. If I don't know I am doing it, how do I know I did it??

Paul

Can you explain this???

[Croix]

Dear Mark~

I have mindfulness 'L' plates and was looking at your explanation of not concentrating. That has sort of been my goal, though success is pretty patchy.

I may be on the wrong track but I use my reading ability as a guide. When a kid I had to concentrate on the words on the page, laboriously spelling out the content, and only getting a bit of an idea of what it was about. Lots of concentration there.

Now I pick up a book and within a moment I'm away living the lives of the characters in it, without a thought for my surroundings and no sensation of concentration at all - though my wife will tell me I'm concentrating hard so as not to hear her:)

With mindfulness I guess I'm pretty close to how I started out with reading, when I use an app such as Smiling Mind I am concentrating hard. Moments of 'awareness' without being conscious of what I'm doing are my target and sometime I get there for a little while.

I'm imagining someone like yourself can drop into such states quite quickly and effortlessly.

Am I on the right track?

Croix

[MarkJT]

Quirky, sorry mate didn't mean to do that and perhaps i will try and explain what i meant a little clearer than mud!

Ok so the "don't know you are doing it" - that is referring to the butterflies that i was watching as described earlier. Another example is that i was down the Latrobe Valley today and was taken on the $5 dollar tour of the mines. I was standing on the lookout looking at the open cut mine, just amazed at the Engineering that goes into that. After a while it dawned on me that i was in a state of mindfulness. Didn't try to concentrate, was just taken away by it.

The "have to concentrate" is when you are anxious and need grounding. That is where i will look at the stars, clouds, buildings, anything that i can latch onto. I have to concentrate hard and when my mind wanders, acknowledge that is has wanderd and correct my thinking patterns.

It is dependant on the situation as to which tact you take.

I much prefer the ones where i am just taken away - such a beautiful place to be.

That make sense?

Mark.

[Doolhof]

Hi Quirky,

I didn't tell the psychologist as the whole time I have been seeing her she does not seem to be interested in discussing any of my concerns.

She cuts me short and starts doing a visualisation thing so I can work it out myself. That is helpful yes, but I thought psychologists were there to talk to and help you understand your emotions and thoughts.

I wrote out two pages worth of pain and grief relating to my babies and the only comment I had back from her was that I had written that very well.

My Dr. sent me to her for "Talk Therapy" I don't feel she does that at all. Instead I am swallowing my grief again and my heart is smashing into a million more pieces.

Seems like I need to write in my book, conduct my own counselling sessions, do the visualisations, be mindful of my thoughts, read self help books...why do I waste money on my psychologist?

Yes, she has helped me to a point, I have received better understanding here on this forum. Hope you guys don't start charging for your services! Ha. Ha.

Cheers all from a confused Mrs. D.

[quirkywords]

Croix I liked your comparison to reading and mindfulness. If you have Lplates , I obviously don't even have them!

Mark thanks for your explanation -it made sense.Your first explanation was fine, I just am finding this hard but keep trying.

I think I sometimes do things but don't know I am so may have to give myself more credit .

Quirky

[quirkywords]

Mrs D

Your writing is so raw and honest that it always moves me. Did you find writing your last post to be easy to write and therapeutic in some way.

Have you ever been able to tell the psychologist how you feel.

When you were writing about your grief relating to your babies did you find the writing flowed very easily or you had to concentrate.

I agree I find the forum very helpful.

Mrs D you help so many people too so it evens out.!

Quirky

[Doolhof]

Forums / Depression / Forcing ourselves to feel happy can make us feel a whole lot worse

Hi Everyone,

I highly recommend you read this thread, especially the link to the Age Article .

I have printed out the article and will re read it a few times. I feel like it is a real life changer for me!

It has made me excited and like I now have a strategy I can work with to understand and accept my grief, accept today and move on to tomorrow!

Give it a read. I hope you all have a greater sense of understand!

Cheers all from Mrs. D.​

[Doolhof]

Hi Quirky,

Thanks for your lovely words. Yes it does help to write and share how I feel.

When the babies died I took in all my pain and grief, many people didn't acknowledge the babies existences, even though we had funerals for two of them.

Grief counsellors and psychologists in the past have told me such things as : You should be thankful you don't have children, children aren't everything you know, your babies didn't even live, I don't understand your grief, it is time to let them go and so on.

I know they probably meant well, but to a person wanting to find ways of acceptance, understanding, validation and acknowledgement, those were not helpful comments.

Yes I had tried to discuss my babies with this psychologist, she just wrote down theories I didn't understand and told me to take them home to work on them.

Even at the last appointment I told her I still didn't understand the 6 pointed strategy she had written, she asked what part, and I told her all of it.

I handed her the paper she had written on she looked at it, handed it back and told me it was simple. That was that.

Now I have the article from The Age to read that makes perfect sense to me so I can start working on my feelings of grief in a manner that makes sense to me!

Cheers all from Mrs. D.

[blondguy]

Thanks heaps Mrs Dools for pointing out that new thread. Ill have a sticky

Forums / Depression / Forcing ourselves to feel happy can make us feel a whole lot worse

MarkJT provided an excellent and easy to understand post that will highlight below as its helped me a lot

MarkJT Said " you can get lost looking at the clouds and stars and the one that i do a lot is getting lost looking at buildings, big ones. I sit and wonder how good the engineering is behind that building. Half the time i do not
even know I am doing it"

My Best. Paul

[quirkywords]

Mrs Dool and everyone

Thanks for your post and your link to the article.

I have said that for ages but no one would listen.

I also dislike when people say Why don't you smile- things can't be so bad.

I have a serious face when I am thinking yet complete strangers feel they can tell me to smile- is trivial but annoying .

That metaphor of the suffering language is what I called a the layered cake of shame and pain.

I am so pleased you are enthusiastic about the article. Let us know how it helps you.

I am so sad at what psychologists have said you, I find that so awful.

I am enjoying all the detailed posts with so much to think about/

Take care

Quirky