Mindfulness: What Is It? (Even if you dont know please post so we can help grow the forums accordingly)

[blondguy]

Hi Everybody

This is only the basic dictionary definition...

"Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment without judgement"

• Please be as blunt you wish....If you dont have an idea about mindfulness it would be great if you could let us know
• If mindfulness hasnt worked/or is too broad a concept for you it would great if you can let us know your thoughts too
• If mindfulness has helped you, please help others to help themselves by posting how you have embraced this mindset

It goes without saying that the forums are a judgement free zone and I really hope that everyone can jump in and have their say

Your input is highly valued no matter how you respond to this topic. There are no experts here...New Posters are Most Welcome!!

My Kindest Thoughts

Paul

[blondguy]

Hey Quirky

You are spot on about Mrs Dools. She has a heap of expertise in her posts..

Quirky said to Mrs Dools "I am enjoying all the detailed posts with so much to think about"

I am with you when people say 'why dont you smile'....That can be a pain when we are deep in concentration or having anxiety

Thanks Quirky...My Best..Paul

[MarkJT]

Quirky, it is a learned skill so keep persisting but don't get down if you can't grasp it, just keep going and it will click one day.

I can have days where it doesn't matter what i do or try i am completely crap at it and i second guess what i am trying to do. That is the time to re-set and start trying again.

Mark.

[gld]

Hi Doolhof,

I feel sadden by your grief being dismissed by some of the professionals you have seen who have made those sort of statements. I hold onto hope you will be able to gain more support with a professional who has more experience with grief.

Everyone grieves in different ways and having a loss as yours needs all your strength to gain the supports and strategies to make changes so you are able to move forward towards a place where the loss is not holding you back. I feel this does not mean you have to forget your loss or have others dismiss it as it is more making adjustments to be able to have both grief and living a fulfilled life.

I am loving this thread as Mindfulness for me, helps me lift that dark fog when it gets a little heavy with all the other supports i have out there.

Gen [Hugs]

[blondguy]

Hi Gen

Always good to see you on the forums 🙂

Just a note of thanks for your kind post above (and MarkJT for his experience/knowledge on Mindfulness)

Gen Said "I am loving this thread as Mindfulness for me, helps me lift that dark fog when it gets a little heavy with all the other supports i have out there"

Thanks Gen 🙂

Paul

[blondguy]

Hey Mark/Starwolf. Any intel would be much appreciated if possible

Im a bit stuck on the post Croix made below on the 29th...(and thanks for posting too Croix..Im still learning this)

"Dear Mark~
I have mindfulness 'L' plates and was looking at your explanation of not concentrating. That has sort of been my goal, though success is pretty patchy. I may be on the wrong track but I use my reading ability as a guide.

When a kid I had to concentrate on the words on the page, laboriously spelling out the content, and only getting a bit of an idea of what it was about. Lots of concentration there.Now I pick up a book and within a moment I'm away living the lives of the characters in it, without a thought for my surroundings and no sensation of concentration at all - though my wife will tell me I'm concentrating hard so as not to hear her:)

With mindfulness I guess I'm pretty close to how I started out with reading, when I use an app such as Smiling Mind. I am concentrating hard. Moments of 'awareness' without being conscious of what I'm doing are my target and sometime I get there for a little while.
I'm imagining someone like yourself can drop into such states quite quickly and effortlessly.

Am I on the right track?
Croix"

[Doolhof]

Hi Gen, Quirky and All,

My Dr. had sent me to a professional Grief Counsellor, she was the one who told me I should be thankful I don't have children.

I do accept the fact my babies have died, I believe they are in heaven, maybe I had just wanted some one to validate their existence and to allow me the right to grieve, and to learn what to do with that grief. I didn't get much of that from family or friends at the time or any time since.

You, the dear, precious, wonderful people on this forum have given me so much more acknowledgement, validation, care and understanding than many people whom I have approached to help me with this in person...

Quirky, some of the statements made in The Age article that helped me so much are:

-Learn to accept unwanted private experiences that are out of your control

-Take committed action towards living a valued life ( with what I do have my words)

-Embrace your demons!!!!

The aim of ACT (Acceptance and Commitment therapy) is to create a rich, full and meaningful life, while accepting the pain that inevitably goes with it.

(There are 6 steps to help you achieve all of this, one of these is to DEFUSE the thoughts. This is what my psychologist was trying to teach me but her method made no sense to me at all as she just used key words. A bit like having a list of ingredients for a recipe you have never cooked but no method of how to make it.)

The aim of defusion is to reduce the influence of unhelpful thoughts on our behaviour.

A statement from a different article I printed out on ACT says:

ACT is the difference between being suffocated by distress with a cushion, or having the cushion and distress sit next to you on the couch.

Everyone who reads the article will get something different out of it. For me, I feel these points are going to help me not just with my grief, but issues with depression in general.

Wishing you all a sense of enlightenment into what will help you with your issues!

Cheers from Mrs. D.​

[Croix]

Dear Paul~

I'm a bit stuck too, as I'm not really sure what mindfulness is for me. I use that app mostly when anxiety is pretty high and I have to concentrate hard so as not to get distracted and go back to thinking about whatever it was that was upsetting me, but after a while occasionally I forget I'm concentrating and just go with the app.

Does that sort of make sense?

I was hoping that was what Mark was talking about - but I suspect I might be on the wrong track - sigh

Either way I find the app a pretty good distraction

Thanks

Croix

[blondguy]

Hello Croix

I am also wearing L plates here as well

I recently bought a chiminea wood fire for outside and found myself sitting there just staring at the beauty of the coals....20 minutes went by and I was really surprised....My mind was 'in neutral' without thought or the brain taking over....Ive been reading heaps here from Starwolf and now MarkJT has jumped an really put some clarity in here which is a huge bonus

Croix mentioned " after a while occasionally I forget I'm concentrating and just go with the app" Thats it....exactly......living purely in the moment without any thoughts....Like my fire....It was just me and the flames....and I lost track of time....didnt even know I was doing it...

I hope that MarkJT can help us with your above posts/queries Croix. He really has this down pat for sure.

We can both wear these L Plates then 🙂 My Best Paul

[MarkJT]

For me when Croix is reading and when Paul is watching the fire, that to me is pure mindfulness. That time where there are no worries, no concerns, no anxiety, no depression, no anger...just calmness because your mind has been totally consumed with what has transfixed you. That to me is the natural mindfulness.

When you are anxious and/or in a depressive funk, should you read or watch the fire and fall into that zone of calmness, then that to me is the sucess of mindfulness. It was not a natural one because it was a deliberate effort to take the mind away, hopefully calming you down and giving you more clear thought patterns on how to get through the episode.

That make sense?

Mark.

[quirkywords]

If Paul and Croix are on L plates , I still have training wheels!

To me Paul and Croix have their full license while I keep falling off the bike.

Mark, I was often accused of daydreaming at schooland that was considered bad. I think I was in the moment but because of being told off for daydreaming I know find it hard.

Can anyone relate to that or am I way of track again?

Quirky