Hey Dottie and Paul, and shout-out to all reading/contributing;
I agree with you Dottie, mindfulness didn't work for me either when I was depressed, but music did! Uplifting stuff I mean, the same with TV or movies. Light classical or jazz without words took me to my happy place more than not. I figure this is a 'hybrid' of mindfulness for depression or apathy.
Sometimes I have a chat with the Universe while laying in bed. My words are quiet, genuine and humble; an instant 'feeling' of calm comes over me, but not just any calm. I feel 'balanced' and in the moment...me and God goin' at it. I have no secrets from Him, no guilt, lies or remorse, just honesty. I don't have to hide, avoid, or make myself bigger or smaller to feel accepted or worthy.
Experimenting; trial and error is what it takes. When I finally realised there was a 'cause' for my anxiety a few hrs prior, the penny dropped. From then on, I'd calm my mind with focus and deep breathing to scan back over time and identify what triggered me. The relief was nearly always 'instant'!
After doing this for a while, themes and patterns began to emerge in my behaviour and beliefs. The more I learned to quieten my mind, the better I felt and was able to assess 'me' better as well. It took time, but eventually peace came...
Paul; I know you have an issue with my 'microscope', but without it, I wouldn't be the person I am today. Yes, it hindered me in the beginning when I didn't know how to use it, but now I've come to appreciate this gift I have and use it for good instead of evil. Ha ha...
Hope this all makes sense...
Sara x
