Hello Quirky
I agree with you that there's time and place for optimism. I'm constantly trying to be realistic otherwise I get too confused. I found reality very grounding, stable and predictable. I believe that there is a place for both happy and unhappy emotions otherwise we wouldn't have them. When a bad thing happens, it's bad and when a good thing happens, it's good. When there is a possibility of a good thing happening, there is hope, when there is no hope than it's part of reality and I try to accept it.
As much as we can put a mask on, it's not genuine and people that care can see it. Even though it's sometimes "appropriate" to put a mask on, it's exhausting and not a solution to anything. For us to be happy, we need to be genuinely happy not to put it on and that's what I strive for. I've had moments in my life when I was genuinely happy and I believe that I can have it again when I either fix my problems or accept how things are. And both take some time and effort.
I strongly believe in "hope for the best, be prepared for the worst." Usually something in between happens. I have backup plans for all bad things that might happen to me so I can forget about them and move on while working on making good things to happen.
It is much harder to read what other people like or need. I think it's usually very safe to go with whatever they feel and try to understand. When they're looking for help then try to share a realistic solution that might help and then leave it up to them to decide what they want to do with it and support them in their choices.
Anyways, this is how I look at things but I understand that others have different strategies that work for them.
