Is positivity always helpful.?

[quirkywords]

In the last decade there has bee a big emphasis on being positive all the time.

I have had a problem with this and now I am reading articles that agree with me that in some instances being over positive can not be appropriate or even helpful.

How can positivity be extreme you may ask? Positivity has a time and place, and if ill timed or relied on in an inappropriate situation, positivity has the potential to be dangerous.

However it can be harmful to relationships, particularly when a person is struggling and their partner pushes them to “look on the bright side” without listening to what they are feeling.

What do you think?
So are ok when someone tells you to look at what you have and not to complain?

Or do you find when you are telling people how you are feeling that they don’t listen and tell you to be grateful, that you get annoyed.

Let me know what you think.

Is there a time and place for positivity?

[Guest_1643]

Hi Blues, Ur welcome 💙

Thanks for sharing that idea, I've heard that too about trauma and found it interesting.

quirky I had a car accident and 5 minutes after my aunt told me, "don't let it break u, move on."

I felt like she wasn't allowing me even 5 min to be in shock and sad,

I felt really upset about that,

I have read about Rob Gordon's work with bushfire and feel the trauma has been pushed aside, and I sorry u were not given space.

[On The Road]

Hi Tony

Thanks for the reply. One thing those false motivations don't do much to me is they condition people in the same type of "motivational" representatives, which is not very motivational 😂 everyone is different, from your post the guy Bill seemed to be motivated by his wife's laugh. he took it well and start his own way to deal with rejection, while a lot of people couldn't. Sometimes Reverse psychology can be very effective to motivate ppl, but it's suggested to avoid using it in serious situations (when the person is vulnerable). So for me, I don't know, I may not take it well if I was in sickbed and my loved one ridicule me for my failure. What do you think?

[On The Road]

Sorry Tony, the "false motivation" I said refers to those marketing strategies, not the one lecture you mentioned in your post.

[white knight]

Good point, I recall the lecture- ever word and it was nearly 40 years ago.

Bill's response was for multiple reasons- firstly he thought he wouldnt survive the heart attack so he had another chance at life and secondly his private life wasnt all that inspiring. For those reasons he did use his wife's laughter as the trigger to devote the rest of his life to being successful and be able to one day tell her those words "and never laugh at me like that again".

Ironically, being an insurance salesman at that time new in the game you'd think such a transformation from negative to positive would download to becoming a successful salesman, not at all, in fact as mentioned in other posts I've made, being realistic is also essential as part of the process of remaining positive.

So, I left the profession to enter investigations, the profession of my dreams and became very good at it. So I used his teachings of motivations as a lesson but incorporated it into a package that included - ideal profession, capabilities and so on.

To be positive involves more than a change from negative thinking to positive thinking, there is more facets to it that make the result more achieving.

I can be as positive as I am but at 130kg I'm never going to be good at ballet...

TonyWK

[CMF]

'I can be as positive as I am but at 130kg I'm never going to be good at ballet...'

Excellent point Tony. No amount of positivity can change a fact.

Cmf x

[Guest_1643]

We do have to be realistic, but how does this sit with having dreams?

I'm thinking of the movie precious, where she used to fantasise about being adored and worshipped while she was in an abusive, seemingly unescapabable situation.

The more I read about inequality and privilege the more I realise the system is fairly rigged.

Eg years ago someone might have said, I'm a woman so I can't be a writer, doctor etc.

Today we tell kids to dream, and rhen it's crushing when at one point u realise u may not be able to achieve dreams u hoped for.

Being positive vs being hopeful for the future?

[quirkywords]

Sleepy

I think realistic hope is something that is helpful. It would unrealistic for me to hope I would excel at anything sporty.
i think. Ring positive about pain and trauma is not helpful.

[Guest_1643]

Well said quirky, Ur very wise

[white knight]

Quirky

Your last comment is z fine example of less words greater impact.

Well said lovely lady. I'm so richer knowing you.

TonyWK

[quirkywords]

Thanks Tony and Sleepy.
I too learn so much from both of you and all the posts on the forum. We are so lucky to have such a forum to listen and learn from and to be heard.