hi Phoenix, it's great for you to join this site, and as I can see it's been pretty tough for you lately or perhaps for quite awhile, and for that I,m truly sorry.
I have been in your situation for a long period of time when I was deeply depressed, I used it to self medicate hoping it would relieve all the pain I was going through, but I was too numb to even know whether it was or it wasn't, but in hindsight I was intoxicated and I didn't really care.
Both my wife (ex) and my 2 sons hated to see me like this and would throw out any alcohol if they had found it, that's why I always had to hide it, a cupboard drinker, and was called an alcoholic, now I only drink socially for a couple of reasons, medical and I don't want to have another grand mal seizure.
There definitely is a reason why you need to drink, but it could be a side-kick from something else that has gone wrong and now your drinking has taken precedence over anything else.
The one good thing about this is that you have now recognised it's a major concern, in fear of losing your family, unfortunately that's what happened to me, but have now reconciled with them all, so this is possible for you, and we certainly know it's not easy, because you maybe able to abstain for awhile but as soon as something goes wrong, back you go, so this is what we need to do to help you.
Your doctor can prescribe a medication which will stopp the desire, urge to drink, but it will only work if you want to actually stop drinking the grog.
I have seen your comment on 'Battling the Booze' which would be good for you to read through.
We are here for you at any time. Geoff.
