I just want to appreciate life and be happy

[Guest_20020238]

Hello everyone,

This is my first time posting but my depression I think has been there for a very long time.  Over the last few years life in general has just been a pressure cooker and I seem to not be coping as well as usual.  I have good days and I am always happy on the outside when at work or with family.  There is always that other side of me though that is just not happy although I talk to myself and wonder why I am not happy as there is not anything in particular that I should be sad about.

Some days I cannot cope with what to buy for dinner, or have a shower.  I do complete the tasks but I have to work hard to put a smile on my face.  Sometimes, actually most times I have a tight knot in my stomach and could cry so easily.    I am short tempered with everyone including by beautiful 14 year old son, which really makes we feel guilty.  We have the typical problem where he is on the computer too much and school is suffering.  My husband takes his side (probably rightly so to a point as he does not understand or recognise I need help as well) and then my husband and I end up rowing.  Anyway, normally I deal with the day to day okay, just not at the moment.  I am thinking of going away for a few days to be with friends to give me and my boys a break.  Not sure if that is the right way to go?  I would appreciate some thoughts and help on that one.    Thanks for listening.  It has taken me a long time to contact BB.

[Sophie_M]

Hi there,

Welcome to the forums, we are so glad that you've taken a big step in sharing here. We hope you find some comfort in sharing here, and in hearing from the lovely community members, many of whom will be able to relate to what you’ve been through.  

We hear that you are having issues with coping and often we can place pressure on ourselves that we should be feeling a certain way, for example as you said that there was nothing in particular that you were feeling sad about. Please be kind to yourself as you process your feelings and know that however you are feeling, it is valid. If you ever want to talk this through with one of the Beyond Blue counsellors, feel free to give us a call on 1300 22 4636, or reach out through Online Chat here.  

Thank you for sharing this and giving this community a chance to offer you their understanding and advice. We’re here to listen and offer support, and you never know how your story might help someone else.  

Kind regards,  

Sophie M 

[Guest_85336421]

Guest_20020238

I feel similar, & having 2 boys aged 12 & 14 I understand the struggles. 
Sometimes I question whether I treat them both with the respect they deserve, or am I just a conflict adverse good natured doormat. 
My husband gives me lots of support, but sometimes we don’t see eye to eye on teen issues. 
The struggle is really, and the internal conflict can be suffocating at times. 
It’s comforting to know that someone else has similar feelings to me. Thanks for sharing 
🥹

[BlueLily]

Hi there,

Sorry to hear you are going through a difficult time despite there's nothing in particular that's upsetting you. I have gone through similar feelings when my life style was same monotonous routine while working under lot of pressure and deadlines. I found myself radiating my frustration towards other people even if I knew it was wrong. I found that by telling my family about it when I was in a positive mood, that I was going through a difficult time mentally, helped them to be more understanding and provide me support.

Hope you find strength and start enjoying your day to day life..