How to disagree respectfully? All ideas are welcome.

[quirkywords]

I have noticed especially in social media but also in real life, that people find it hard to disagree with respect.

We have seen politicians being personal and rude to each other just because they have different opinions.

I don't think it is possible for us all to agree with each other but it is necessary for us to discuss our differences without attacking the personality of the other person.

How do you disagree with people showing politeness and respect.?

I encourage you to share your ideas, even if you find it hard to disagree respectfully.

I feel for our mental health it is important for us to be aware of how our comments may affect others.

Quirky

[ecomama]

Sleepy21 said:

hi EM and Quirky

I think sometimes I find it hard when I have a values clash with someone, like if they are not supportive of mental health issues. Those opinions harm others and discourage help-seeking. My therapist said in one case I should try and educate the person, which I did. Who knows if it influenced them at all - but I felt better.

Ofcourse we can try to talk with people who show ignorance of a topic we know well... some people may be open to discussing these things with us.

I guess that's the importance of being an UPstander ie not being a BYstander to things said that we can't let pass by.

By acquiescing and NOT saying anything, this can be taken as agreement.

If we do not agree then we can say so.
If we've been down this path before with same said person on same said topic and it ended up in a volatile conversation then IDK.... it's each person's choice.

I had a conversation on the weekend that I did not bring up.
Other person did.
With same perspective and force.
I said "We've been down this road before. I disagree with you but I'd rather not talk about this topic with you because 'never the twain shall meet' on this - we are chasms apart on our views on this one. Let's leave it."

Lol. It's "left".

After ALL channels of communication are exhausted and it's a frustration just to think of it...
I save my MH and leave it.
I can't spare any MH lol!

Love EM

[quirkywords]

EM and Sleepy thanks for your comments.

greetings everyone

Sleepy, I sometimes have tried to educate those who disagree or who have different

opinions and values.i do this if I have energy motivation and if I feel the effort is worth it.Otherwise I agree to disagree.

EM your words say it so well.

We've been down this road before. I disagree with you but I'd rather not talk about this topic with you because 'never the twain shall meet' on this - we are chasms apart on our views on this one. Let's leave it."

what do there’s thinks.

[quirkywords]

Hello all,

I have read on the forums that some people feel disrespected. This makes me sad as I see the forums as a safe place. I know sometimes on the forums and in life people may disagree with me but I know I am treated with respect.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Quirky

I understand you’re sadness. I don’t like to think about anyone here not feeling welcome either.

But I would like to gently share my view that if people are saying they feel disrespected it’s a good thing, as opposed to just walking away feeling hurt.

It’s really positive that people feel comfortable enough to talk about the good and bad of the forum. That means they feel safe to raise a concern and it gives everyone a chance to improve.

Nothing is ever perfect in life and things can only improve if the issues are raised.

This forum is an amazing place, in my humble view, and I tip my hat to you and the other Community Champions who work so hard for the community.

Kind thoughts to you

[quirkywords]

Thanks Summer Rose . Your thoughtful caring posts help so many including me. I learn from your comments. I have thought thst having a place where people can suggest improvements makes this forum special.

I get upset where people disagree and don’t listen or talk over others.

[Guest_1643]

hi quirky ... thanks for this thread

i had the same thoughts as you and summerrose... i am glad that ppl can speak up. it's powerful.
I was also thinking maybe that it should be even taken another step, and maybe ppl can speak even more about it. Being believed and respected even when disagreeing - wow - that is so powerful.
I've been scared of speaking up for much of my life.

You are very wise and thoughtful to care about the distress others feel here and also to see the value in ppl speaking up. Because many ppl can't do that sadly. I think that is the most damaging. When ppl get the message that it's safer to "suffer in silence" because they can't articulate their pain/concerns safely.

I've suffered in silence a lot and not had the ability to speak. I hope this forum can grow and improve and listen. I can see there are so many different view points on so many issues here! it's a lot to manage and i guess we are all trying our best

Warm thoughts to you

[quirkywords]

Sleepy,

I am pleased you don’t have to suffer in silence. We all deserve to be heard and if people disagree they do with respect.
take care

[Paw Prints]

Just tagging for now

A lot of interesting food for thought to digest

Paws

[quirkywords]

Thanks paw prints.

[ecomama]

Hey quirky and everyone,

It's probably really important to grasp that people will disagree with us, some times or even alot... they just do and will.

But if we accept that others can disagree with us and that's 100% OKAY then we're getting somewhere.

That means that "you're okay and I'm okay too" - we're okay! We're allowed to disagree.

In fact we can and will disagree with even our very closest friends and ppl in our lives... and we can then STILL love each other anyway. (Ofcourse this depends upon the topic and excludes all types of abuse!)

Perhaps at the core of accepting others disagreeing with us is to embrace the diversity in our circle, on the forums, in our community and in the world.

In fact being able to openly disagree with others, or merely present other POVs is BEAUTIFUL!

It can create a synergy between people that cannot be gained any other way.

We can learn SO much.

yeah I'm gonna quote Brene Brown aaaagain lol... she actually says to "lean into" these conversations, as long as you feel safe to do so is my disclaimer, as they are one of the signs of living a more wholehearted life.

Hope this helps.
Love EM