Gratitude and survival

[Heart-Warrior]

Are there any other heart transplant and cancer survivors out there?

I’m struggling to find my gratitude at the moment. I’m just too into my own head with the doubts, fears and feelings of unworthiness. 

It’s coming up towards the end of the year. In Feb I was given “hours to live”. That was nearly 7 years ago. I still get trauma around this time, and I just can’t seem to relax and enjoy the bonus life I’ve been given.

[Mudball98]

Hey there ☺️ 

Whilst I don’t have the same experience as you I have nearly died a few times and was predicted to not live past the age of two. 

My biggest struggle is thinking that I need to live this incredible life in order to repay those medical professionals who have helped me. I sometimes feel like I’m not doing enough. 
When I get into that headspace I try to take a step back and focus on the simple things such as being grateful for the sunrise or sunset. I also found speaking to a psychologist really helpful who helped me reframe my negative thoughts and pushed me to be self compassionate. 
The standards we set for ourselves we definitely wouldn’t put the same pressure on our friends or family. 
Take care ☺️

[Heart-Warrior]

we share common themes. 

I also feel I’m not doing enough to pray the medicos AND my hero heart donor and their family. My team now has a health psychologist. We’re working on this stuff via Telehealth. I apparently have a “perfectionist” and achiever streak. I’m not sure I agree with the perfectionist label, but I’ve achieved in study and career, as well as fitness stuff (I’ve done Ironman triathlons when I was in my 20s). Now I just feel good enough to repay the debt of gratitude. I think this will be an ongoing struggle for me, but sometimes I feel better than other times. 

im trying to look for the little things that give me a sense of worth.