Getting a rescue dog?

[Eagle Ray]

I’ve found a rescue dog online I’m drawn to adopt? He is on the introverted side and quite scared of people, and they are looking for someone of a similar nature who will be gentle and understanding of him.

Not long ago I saw an episode of The Dog House where a guy with PTSD was looking to adopt a rescue dog. He was initially matched with a dog who had trauma like him but it didn’t work out. In the end they matched him with a young, happy non-traumatised dog and it really worked.

What I’m a little worried about is my whole life I have been a carer for others who are traumatised, including caring for my mother from a young age. This has left me with my own trauma. I wonder if it would be better for me to adopt a less shut down and frightened dog. At the same time I feel I would understand him, be able to help him come out of his shell and help him feel safe, that the world is not a threat (even though I’m still learning this myself).

It’s like I’m exhausted from a lifelong carer role and feel I have nothing left to give, and yet I love dogs and am drawn to this one. I’m confused 😕

Obviously no one else can make the decision for me, and I can travel to meet him at least. But I just wondered if anyone else here with a trauma history has adopted a dog before? Was it a rescue dog and how did it go?

I didn’t grow up with dogs but have lived with others’ dogs several times as an adult. I’ve cared for housemates’ and landlords’ dogs for extended periods when they’ve been away. So I’m aware of the work involved but also loved them to bits and they’ve been an important part of my life. I have some chronic health issues so this one I’m considering at the moment might suit in that he’s not high energy and sounds like he’s happy to go on sedate walks. Anyway, just wondering if anyone has any thoughts or similar experiences?

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Banksy,

Thank you for that suggestion. I think it would definitely be a good idea to get some help from a trainer if I end up getting a dog who has trauma-related issues.

 I’m starting to feel I should hold off a little longer on getting a dog as I’m having some health issues at present and in a bit of a struggle, so I’m a bit worried about my capacity to care for a dog, even though I know the flip side is that dogs often help to heal us. But I’m soon seeing a specialist for current health symptoms and think I just need to be a bit clearer about my capacity to cope health-wise. I would feel awful if I got a dog, especially a rescue dog, and then I’m not up to caring for him or her.

 I’m glad that despite some early challenges with your dog that things have settled and it’s been a great help for your well-being. What I love about dogs is their openness and enthusiasm. Of course some dogs lose these things a bit just like us humans if traumatised, but it’s wonderful when human and dog can be true companions and be healing and supporting to one another. The human-dog bond is a special thing.

[Banksy92]

let us Sorry to hear you're dealing with some health issues at the moment Eagle Ray, It's understandable you want to put this decision aside for a bit while you get a clear idea of what's going on. Your health is always a top priority, as soon as you feel more clear and confident, you can always revisit the idea of adopting a dog.

How are you feeling about getting a diagnosis? I hope it brings some clarity and isn't anything too serious.

[Eagle Ray]

Thanks Banksy 🙏

 I already have a diagnosis of primary biliary cholangitis which is an autoimmune liver disease, but haven’t been getting the help around a number of symptoms I would like from my current specialist, so I was going to be seeing a new specialist but just found out she is booked out for the rest of the year. It’s a bit of a rare disease so it can be hard getting the right help. I’m having to do the bulk of the research into it on my own. I appear to be also developing Sjögren’s syndrome which often occurs with it, which is causing very dry, scratchy eyes at the moment. But trying to stay positive as I keep searching for the right help.

Anyway, I will keep dreaming about cute doggies 🐶🥰 

[ecomama]

Dear Eagle Ray

Hello! I'm EM, pleased to meet you and belated Welcome to the forums. 

We have a rescue poodle (of all things lol) and my d has a rescue border collie. We also have a rescue cat and have 5 rescue chickens too. 

For the past 50y I've ONLY had rescue pets and every single one has been WONDERFUL! 

They are such a Blessing to us in so many ways and we are the biggest Blessing to them. 

Ofcourse I understand your concern about the past trauma for them, but tbh I've found that BECAUSE of their past traumas they are all extremely loyal, stay close to home (yes even my neighbourhood wandering free range chickens lol) and are really in sync with us if we're experiencing trauma responses ourselves. They didn't even have any training! They just KNOW. 

They are simply THE BEST company any of us could ever have wanted. Surprisingly so. 

I'm delighted you've considered adopting one. Totally understandable to put off the decision until things improve for you. 

Wishing you all the best, 
EM

[Eagle Ray]

Thank you EM! Nice to meet you too. It sounds like a wonderful family of animals you have.

 If I get a rescue dog he or she will almost certainly be a rescue dog. It’s more that the particular dog I was drawn to, I think it was for the wrong reasons. When you have been a carer since a small child for someone who is severely dissociated, that person being my mother, it is potentially retraumatiding to take on a severely shut down dog. I could sense this dog is depressed in a similar way to my Mum (probably why I went into the unconscious pattern of trying to rescue him). As my Mum only died recently and she was in such a broken-hearted state, I am still ripped to pieces internally. At times I’m really not ok and I have never been so depleted in my life, so to take on a dog and be in that caring role again with a severely depressed being, human or animal, I fear it could be bad for me and the dog.

That’s what I was trying to explain about the guy with PTSD. He still took on a rescue dog, but not one who was severely traumatised. I don’t just have nothing left to give, I’m so far beyond that I don’t even have words for it.

To be honest I don’t know how to move forward right now, but I’m still drawn to dogs, but I might be better if helping out at a local kennel. There are no local shelters in my town, but there might be something along those lines in a nearby town. I’ve actually almost completely shut down from trauma, especially from an incident of abuse following my Mum’s death. It’s like I still really need help before I can help anyone else.

But I go out into nature and enjoy birds, kangaroos, bandicoots and all the other creatures around here. I feel that when you have nothing left nature is what holds you. It is definitely my grounding place and lifeline.

 I’m so glad you’ve been able to love and support so many animals over a long time. I love that your chickens are free ranging. And, yes, so true that animals can be attuned to us. I did some horse therapy last year and could really feel that 🐴🐶🐥🥰