Fostering feelings of excitement?

[Vegetarian Marshmallow]

Hi.

I think I am - and have been for most of my life now - rather disconnected from the kind of positive energy that drives people to do things. I remember, as a child, waking up on Christmas morning and being excited to open presents. I remember, as a child, being excited to read through whatever book I was engaged with at the moment. But that kind of thing feels very far away.

I already know things that I think are worth doing with my time in the world, and that I want to will myself actually to do. But the excitement is not there to jump out of bed in the morning, or to do thing at any other stage of the day. And so I procrastinate. This feels like something that perhaps meditation (excitement meditation?) can help with. Or writing a gratitude journal (except for excitement). But how to write about things I'm excited about when I .. don't feel that? Do you have to bootstrap yourself into it?; "If the feeling part of me could cotton onto what my brain knows I *should* be excited about, I *would* be excited about.. X.. and Y... and Z"; and then eventually the feelings catch up?

What things about yourself have you made concerted efforts to change in this way? How have you attempted this? Has it worked (become internalised - "I'm actually a different person to that person from years ago; I feel different, act differently, see the world differently") or do you just feel like every day for years you've been mechanically "handling" your unchanging underlying default dispositions?

[quirkywords]

vegetarian marshmallow

What a fascinating post that has given me lots to think about.

I suppose because I have been manic I do not seek excitement as it reminds me of being out of control.

I can u derstand what you are saying and how you would like to find that exciting feeling again and perhaps even that motivation you once had.

I will have to think about what I want to change .

Thanks again for posing this interesting question.

I will like to read what other people write.

Quirkyn

[smallwolf]

Hello and sorry about the delayed response. I noticed that you asked

"how to write about things I'm excited about when I .. don't feel that"

For the last few months I have had to write a journal of sort as homework by my psych. Think of it as split into 3 section. In the first section I have to write (each day) 3 things to look forward to. In the second section write down 1 pleasure, 1 accomplishment and 1 gratitude item. The final section lists the positives of each day and associated positive qualities.

After starting I mentioned to my psych that it was difficult to find or write something in the 2nd section. She said that even the small things like getting out of bed, showering, brushing teeth are all valid count as accomplishments or positives for the day. In short, do not discount all the small things in the day we tend to skip over.

So if I am really stuck and cannot by bother to google an answer, I will look for the smaller things in the day. Doing this helps me to remember that even the smaller things count just as much as the bigger things. And the effect is similar (for me) to doing a word search containing only positive words. I write it out even when I dont want to. I guess I force myself out of habit?

Hope that helps.

Tim

[Elizabeth CP]

I am interested in people's answers because I seem to have the same problem. Even things I used to enjoy I have to force myself to do. I need to find that excitement & motivation

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Vegetarian Marshmallow and a wave to everyone!

Thanks for your post. I've been here on the forums for a few years now and this is the first kind of post I've seen about it and yet I've had soo many conversations about this!

So to try and keep things short, personally I feel like part of the genuineness of excitement is removing the world 'should'. Kids aren't told they 'should' be excited on Christmas - they just are.

Likewise, if I'm telling myself 'I used to be excited about this, I should be' it's not going to help me create those real feelings. Instead, for me, fostering feelings of excitement has a lot to do with accepting that they aren't there right now. Knowing that I'm not excited about the things I used to be, and that's totally okay. Ironically, once I can accept that, feelings of excitement can sometimes pop up where I least expect them.

I wonder too if you could switch 'excited' to 'looking forward to'? That way it's a little bit less pressure on yourself, but it might help you come up with some more ideas. What sorts of things are you looking forward to right now? Or if there's nothing that comes to mind, maybe there's something you can create or schedule in (like time with friends, a self-care activity etc). That way it becomes an ever so gentle nudge towards that excited feeling.

Hope this helps!