Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

I don't like myself when I can't do the things I need to do in the way that society expects me to do them. Society should adapt to meet people's needs, but in reality that isn't often the case. Honestly, what's so hard about flexing so we can all fit?

[Ggrand]

Hello Everyone,

I think that when we do something and it doesn’t turn out the way we want it to do..that we can be very hard on ourselves..when at those times, we should be more gentle and kind to ourselves....If a friend done something that didn’t go right for them...The first thing we do is comfort them with our compassion and kindness..we really should treat ourselves like we treat family and friends that we love..

Grandy..

[Guest_1643]

i struggle with anxiety that makes it hard to like myself - i pick myself apart and it hurts. i guess i have a strong inner critical voice which means it seems very hard to like myself. i find it helpful hearing other ppl reflect my strengths, and try to take it in. not sure if others feel this wy, but find it hard to believe compliments

[Guest9337]

Sometimes I've felt threatened by compliments, like they are buttering me up and about to roast me.

Why you complimenting me, what do you want? I might think if I feel they're being too friendly.

[quirkywords]

I dont like when I get too sensitive when people say critical comments to her.

David I feel suspicious with compliments.

[geoff]

Hello Paul, where are you, we want to see you, we hope you are starting to feel a little bit better, please come back.

My best.

Geoff.

[Moonstruck]

Hello there david {'n goliath)...I love compliments...what's not to love? I'm not suspicious of them in the slightest....the people giving them are obviously very perceptive and appreciate something about me, whether inside or out, and I'm so grateful they actually articulated it! I thank them sincerely and know that I deserved the compliment! {which I do)........{we've never met before, but old regulars on this thread are aware that my answer to Paul's original question is a resounding Yes! I like myself...I love myself....if I don't, how can I possibly expect others to do so?

so if I pay you a compliment aren't you going to believe me? I'm a sincere person I assure you.....Moon S x

[smallwolf]

Hi.

Rather than not trusting I tend to minimise or not accept the compliment. Though I am getting better at accepting now. I will add a but after the thankyou as as a form of pushing it away. I occasionally get the thoughts you do where I am looking for the motive of the kind words

What does this say about me... Prolly that I think I am not worthy of the compliment.

I suspect this comes from our experiences in which someone will butter us up and then ask us to do something we would not ordinarily do.

Another thing is to sit with the compliment.

From my own experience it can take some time to change the way I deal with compliments and I guess that it is doable.

[Guest_1643]

hi all,

i used to get a lot of compliments but didn't believe them at all, and was suspicious.

now if i get a compliment i think "you don't really know me" or "you're just saying that" - it doens't mean anything to me at all.
I get told all the time in the healthcare system that i am intelligent, so i'll be ok. I wander if they expect ppl who are experiencing distress or have a MH diagnosis to be not inelligent. I find it more annoying as a compliment than anything, and a bit patronising.

i also have had compliments used against me. I feel sometimes like i can't win. If I ask a lot of questions I am annoying and demanding. if I don't ask any questions i get walked all over and called weak. It is hard.

[quirkywords]

Hello all,

Compliments can be hard and are often deflected.

I Was told to ask a question?

I like your haircut where did you have it done?

Being a question it must be answered.

That is a great biscuit can I have the recipe?

Paul thinking of you. We are all here ready to listen Take care