Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[Doolhof]

Hi Geoff,

Thanks again for your kind and wise words and for sharing your own experiences.

I have been trying to work out my thoughts and feelings around my mother. I need to sit down and write stuff down until I am done.

Thankfully some of the hurt and the doubts about myself are reducing. The incorrect thoughts I have entertained about my being a totally inadequate, horrible person because my mother doesn't want to see me are still there but not as self destroying.

I'm sorry to read your brother in law caused so much strife in your life Geoff.

Today I am wishing you contentment and something to smile about! Cheers from Dools

[Guest_1584]

Yeah what a sneaky bugger Geoff.

Just never know with people do you eh. My older brothers done some very big tricks too but l'm always in two minds about him and the way he's works things. Seems flavor of the mth with the family last few yrs though , typical.

l've decided l must start just being happier , lifes too short it's always about when the journeys done when this when that. ly shouldn't be like that it's way over due l just need to start enjoying the now again for once , and the rest of the ride too whatever it is along the way.

rx

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

I don't like myself much at all lately. I can't seem to get anything right. I can't stop saying stupid stuff that I wish never came out of my mouth. My life is a complete mess and my relationships are a mess and I can't work out how to fix any of it.

[quirkywords]

Katy

I am sorry you don’t like yourself much at present.

when we are down we say absolute statements like I can’t seem to get anything right and my life is a complete mess.
you are reaching out and being honest that is one thing you have right.
is everything in your life a mess, you have friends on here who care about you and you care about me.

I find if I can narrow down my complaints about myself, instead of saying I am a mess, maybe I can say I am having trouble coping with cruel remarks from others .

So can you narrow down your statements.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

How right you are Quirky, and thank you also for your kind words.

Having anxiety I always worry about what people think of me and the things that I say. I asked someone if I come across weird, and they said yes. They told me I'm quite ridiculous. I guess I feel even more unsure of myself now. I don't really know what I do with that. But not everything is a mess, and some people seem to like me just fine. So, thankyou for the perspective 🙂

[Jstar49]

Someone once said,

in life, 25% of ppl will like you and continue liking you.
25% of ppl will like you at first, then for some reason stop liking you.
25% of ppl will dislike you.
and 25% of ppl will dislike you at first, and end up liking you.
even in my own family I can see how this is true.
I guess it helps me to be more at peace with my own thoughts, words and actions. Not everyone will like me and I’m just giving them power they don’t deserve by thinking that their opinion is the most important thing in my life.
so someone might think I’m weird, but they’re not my people!
for someone rlse

those same words may really resonate, and we’ll click becos of them!

life is strange.

the more I have a solid basis for why I think the way I do, the less it bothers me if someone disagrees with me. If they don’t like me becos they disagree with something I’ve said, then we won’t be friends for long!

this is a fairly new concept for me btw.
cheers

J*

[Guest_1584]

l'm funny like that.

l don't really giva shyt whether people like me or not. The few people l'm close to like me and other people l just like like me , they're the ones that matter to me.

People in general though don't concern me one iota and l suppose l could only end up friends with somebody we like and that like us back or we wouldn't be friends anyway, so that ones pretty straight forward. But alas , l know too that through life we can end up with all kinds of people or so called friends or find out otherwise later or you name it. l don't have any of those in my life though l decided a long time ago now the only people that get called a friend of mine are people that "are" friends . The rest are just people or someone l may know .

rx

[Guest_1584]

A plate of nice crispy potato gems , a glass of wine , with a nap after work , doesn't get much better. My first step to being happy.

rx

[Moonstruck]

Dear randomx.. Haven't had potato gems in years..didn't know they still existed. I have a couple of paragraphs in my journal which I am not quite sure how they got there...yes I know actually..I wrote them...or my pen wrote them without my even thinking about what I was writing.

I had been extremely down, trying to come through the other side of a lot of grief, worry, anxiety, agorapobia, ..it's been a horrible time. I have written short, one line affirmations in the past, stuck on the fridge or whatever...but this is quite different.

I love re reading these paragraphs as they are so comforting, just like "someone else" had written them to "me" to encourage me in my despair. The words are beautiful. And I am not sure where they came from...it was sort of like,my pen had a mind of its own, someone or something was guiding my hand, and as I said, I did not even give any thought or plan what I was going to write. Yet there they are...wonderful, loving words..from me...to me!

Longer than any affirmation, several paragraphs, not rambling but well written with beautifully chosen words....so yes I guess you could say I do like myself...or whoever wrote those words certainly did!

[geoff]

Hello RX, sounds like a great idea zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz