Do You Like Yourself? Your Thoughts are Welcome!

[blondguy]

Hello Everybody and new posters especially:-)

I have had anxiety since 1983 and depression from 1997. There is always someone that says 'You have to Love Yourself' before recovery. When people are suffering from anxiety/depression this may be the last 'advice' they really need. This is only my experience when I am 'advised to love myself' to rebuild my life. I have heard the following from people that cant 'love themselves' which is fair enough as I am a person that cant either. Your thoughts will help me and others learn from your point of view. I can only be 'gentle' to myself to heal...not love.

• Why should I love myself if I dont in the first place?
• I am in a dark place, how can I love myself?
• I dont deserve to love myself
• I am depressed...How can I love myself?
• I have mega anxiety attacks..what is there to love about myself?
• I hate myself and what I stand for...why should I?
• I love my partner more...I will care about myself 'later'

When people have depression/anxiety/denial they dont need to be counseled with ' love yourself'. Thats a huge ask.

I dont need to climb Mt Everest by trying to love myself when I cant. It can be an unrealistic and even silly target to achieve having depression

I just prefer to be 'gentle' to myself. Same results and way less stress 🙂 Your thoughts/opinions are more than welcome

Thankyou so much

Paul

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Not sure if anyone remembers me posting about building a self esteem platform… but anyway I’ve been filling a jar with positives and that’s where compliments go. My psych told me it’s important not to question them, just stick them in the jar, so now I get quite excited about getting a compliment because I’m filling the jar!

On a (sort of?) related note, today I got a mean message on Facebook from someone, calling me mean, ugly and old. I decided those things weren’t true and therefore I wasn’t upset about it. Made me feel good that it didn’t bother me 🙂

Kind thoughts to all. Thinking of you, Paul, hope you’re going ok

[white knight]

Hi Katy

I have turned positive from negatives as a sort of hobby. Every time I see a negative I automatically see a positive.

In your case, yes I've had nasty posts on FB also, if I block them or not reply, the positive is, they don't succeed in getting a reaction.

Recently I wrote a post on "Covid 19, the positives" I didn't get a reply which was expected because it isn't common to see positives of a pandemic!

There is a completely better way of living as a positive person-

". I decided those things weren’t true and therefore I wasn’t upset about it. Made me feel good that it didn’t bother me :)" ...absolutely

TonyWK

[Guest_1643]

thats really shocking and hurtful

i was very hurt when someone implied i was old, he ket talking about his generation b eing so different to mine (a store clerk) . I am 8 years older then him, am i another generation? u never know it could be the persons issue. PPl say things sometimes projecting their own insecurities.

[Guest_1643]

resilience and flexibilty, i like it! good tips

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

Katy, I like the idea of sticking compliments and positives in a jar. I have a new journal that includes 4 things to focus on so I could include compliments in that section each day. A jar is a visual suggestion though, I like it.

Sleepy, being judged to be a certain age is "interesting" at times. I don't colour my hair and had my first greys at aged 19. I may look a lot older than I am. When out with older friends I was asked if I was a senior as well so I said yes and received a cheaper lunch! The young waitress thought everyone over 30 was a senior!

I am trying to let other people's unpleasant comments towards me roll off like water from a duck's back. Not always easy but well worth the effort.

Cheers to you all from Dools

[Guest_1584]

When l was married another couple we use to hang out with or often stay over theirs's a few days a time, the guy had this sorta saying come joke - what will become of me ? We'd all crack up every time , he'd throw it in at the funniest times to go with whatever we were talking or joking about at the time and we'd all start saying it whenever we could squeeze it into something somewhere and it'd often run on and on the whole 2 -3 days after that. You'd probably have to be there but anyway.

Sadly it's not a joke anymore and l really actually worry, seriously , more and more about what really will become of me nowa days. Glad l don't see them anymore bc l know this couple would've just kept on going from there up and up and be living a beautiful and happy life with each other and their kids and off into old age later on, for sure. And unfortunately he seems to have been a lot smarter than me. He knew how to construct and build that life for them , and so did she , and of how to hold onto it and cherish it.

So much of what l feel about myself is drawn from where l am now.

rx

[Goose]

Hello All. Sorry to cut in or intrude any discussions made by others above. I have to finally admit to myself I really don't like myself. I would like to think I'm a nice person but I'm not. With warm Regards, Goose (G)

[Moonstruck]

Dear Goose..you say you are not a nice person? What is there about you that makes you not nice? ...just askin'..

[quirkywords]

Goose

Thanks for making your post here, you are always welcome .

I think you are a nice person as people who are not nice often think they are nice.

Many here think we don’t like ourselves.

do you know why you don’t like yourself.

[blondguy]

Hi Goose...Hey Moon and thankyou Quirky for your care factor!

Great to have you post and no apologies are necessary.....If we didnt have new members post the forums would cease to exist...

I wrote this thread as many people (me included) have a hard time liking themselves. There is no judgement on any thread you choose to post on

Hope you are having a good weekend 🙂

Paul