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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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white knight Are there two sides to everyone?
  • replies: 0

I've met a lot of people in my 58 years. Lived with many men in the military, worked countless hours in security with others. Some seemed to be happy- all the time. Every time you meet them you are greeted with the same smile and aura as the previous... View more

I've met a lot of people in my 58 years. Lived with many men in the military, worked countless hours in security with others. Some seemed to be happy- all the time. Every time you meet them you are greeted with the same smile and aura as the previous day...never any change. In fact I would be surprised if they have sad periods at all. We can all put up the mask, often stories from our posters mention how other people like workmates etc have no idea of their inner demons. How often have you had a friend that you connect with so well only to have a fallout, one disagreement and whammo- you find out they are unforgiving? or worse -revengeful? This thread however isnt about that. It's to pose the question- If sufferers of any mental illness has another side to their personality can it be explored and tapped into in order to assist them in their recovery? An example: A sufferer of depression for 2 years has written in. Let's say his symptoms are common for this example, cant get out of bed, trying different medications, prefers no human contact, everything in life is negative and no future is clear. What the poster may not mention unless prompted, is that, many years earlier he had an adventuristic lifestyle, went mountain climbing, cycling, parachuting and other active sports and interests. These interests are so far back and not relevant to them that they dont mention it. Yet, it could I suggest, be a spark that could light up their lives again as an aid to their recovery. What do you think? Are we often only seeing one side of their character? And if so is the other side a lifeline to their future? MY OWN CLOWN I have a mentor A clown I hold in my hand when I express my joy he's a colourful one man band and when he's sad I see him through a blur sitting sadly a mope of course we both were One day, one to forget I watched his arms begging in circles begging and emotionally level pegging I said to him "Why do you copy me clown" as he sat and looked he replied "I copy you when you are up and I copy you when you are down" I stared closer at his face and got a shock to see his face was so familiar -it was a mirror image of me..... WK

Kokentoe Adrenaline - my form of escape
  • replies: 0

First post here, I'm 23, unemployed, single, living at home, and more or less confined within my house as my car registration has expired and I'm unable to afford the renewal cost, so here I am writing this. Given that I can’t drive until I sort out ... View more

First post here, I'm 23, unemployed, single, living at home, and more or less confined within my house as my car registration has expired and I'm unable to afford the renewal cost, so here I am writing this. Given that I can’t drive until I sort out my registration, I have no freedom and am no longer able to undertake the one thing that seems to have been keeping me sane throughout this whole time. Now I understand this might not be the most relatable topic for most people, so unless you’re bored with nothing better to do like myself, you probably won’t be interested, but regardless I'd like to share what has helped me get through some difficult times. I have dealt with depression and anxiety for the better part of my life, finding no closure despite all my efforts. I was put on antidepressants but found that they weren’t helping but rather making me feel worse, so foolishly I decided to dabble in some illicit substances which was a mistake that put me in a mental watch unit and seeing both a psychologist and psychiatrist. Fortunately I pulled through it and learnt my lesson, vowing never to do that again. So drugs definitely weren’t the answer for me. At a certain point in my life I discovered an extreme sport called downhill mountain biking. There are plenty of videos on the internet if you want a better idea of what it’s all about. It took me a while but I overcame my initial fears and started seeing some real progress. I was attempting things that I never would have thought possible when I first started. I guess it’s the same with most things in life, that is you don’t know what you can do until you give it a try and even though you might not succeed at first, if you persevere you should get there eventually. It’s about realising your potential, facing your fears and not giving up. I have never applied this to anything other than my sport, which seems like the only thing I have ever put any real effort into. I didn’t care about doing well at school and the same goes for work. I only saw that as a means of survival, it's not something I would willingly do unless it was something I enjoyed, but from a realistic viewpoint I don’t ever see that happening for me. Now given the nature of my sport, there are many dangers that come along with it. It is inevitable not to crash at some point and I have endured many in my time, resulting in hospital visits in some instances. During those moments, such intense pain is a sensation seldom experienced, it actually made me feel more alive and reminded me that I was still human and that our bones can be broken and our flesh can bleed. Most normal people steer clear from any danger, which makes sense as this is a natural response to preserve one’s own life, but are they truly living? The fight or flight response is a remarkable thing. It's said that “the brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all” and I stand by that saying. Downhill mountain biking is the one and only thing I can somewhat be proud of and rely on to lift me up, even though I am nowhere near the level I want to be, I know how demanding it is and how much courage and determination is required to succeed. So I now had a natural high. The adrenaline rush I get from riding is far better than any drug out there and the best part is that there are no side effects. I can't really describe the euphoria I get from it as it's something only those who have experienced it will understand and I’m quite fortunate to have discovered a passion for a sport that does that. When I'm on my bike nothing else matters except staying on those two wheels and making it to the bottom. I do feel sorry for those who don’t have a creative outlet to deal with their problems as I was once one of them, and in these past 3 weeks I have noticed my symptoms slowly coming back due to a withdrawal from not riding and being stuck at home. I'm not entirely sure how much longer I can last as I no longer have any way to release the tension, boredom and anxiety building up within me and regular exercise does nothing for me. Being in a depressed mental state you’re probably telling yourself there's absolutely nothing out there that you might like or want to try. Of course it doesn’t have to be something extreme like downhill mountain biking, but perhaps you may dare to try something new and enjoy it, if you can force yourself to give it a go. It’s important that you don’t let anyone discourage you and doubt yourself. I've been dissuaded by people for doing what I do because they consider it to be too risky and dangerous. They would try hold you back from chasing your goals, because they were too afraid to chase their own. I’m desperate to get out of my current predicament and get my life back on track and I've already set myself more goals as I want to start doing motorsport racing next. I look forward to embracing the challenges that lie ahead and hope that you are also able to find something you are passionate about in this life.

scorch Need to be kept accountable to help meet goals
  • replies: 69

Hi everyone. So as some of you know I suffer from depression and anxiety. I'm trying to live my life to the fullest, but as anyone who has a mental illness knows, it can sometimes be very difficult to get your butt into gear and do what needs doing, ... View more

Hi everyone. So as some of you know I suffer from depression and anxiety. I'm trying to live my life to the fullest, but as anyone who has a mental illness knows, it can sometimes be very difficult to get your butt into gear and do what needs doing, I am often overcome by feelings of worthlessness and that I am a failure. I know that these feelings are lying to me, I AM precious and beautiful and worth so much! I HAVE accomplished many things and will continue to do... but you know, the feelings can still drag you down sometimes. Anywho... I've been talking to my husband (who is remarkably understanding and patient with my erratic behavior/mood swings) and we've decided to set some goals for us to aim for, so that we can reach our MEGA GOAL which is to undergo IVF treatment and hopefully start a family. I have PCOS which is a genetic disorder that means it is incredibly difficult to have children. It also has about a zillion other side effects including high risk of depression, higher risk of diabetes plus plenty of physical effects all which make me feel like a hideous freak who is hardly a woman at all. We've been trying to have kids for 5 years now, but all treatments have come to naught. We will have to undergo IVF, but it is a long process that costs heaps of money... and we just don't have the funds. This kind of set us both back and over the last year or so we've been sitting stagnant on the kid's issue and it's been negatively affecting our marriage. So the other night we decided enough was enough. We have to get serious about having kids, which means working towards our MEGA GOAL. We're going to attack this on two fronts. First, my husband is trying to pick up some extra work as a security guard as well as his normal day job. Any money he makes from that is going straight into a special 'baby making' bank account. He's also been putting aside a little each week for the last couple of years, but now we're hoping to boost that. I am also putting a little from my wage into the account too. It's already a struggle for us financially, but we'll make it work because this is something we really want. The second part of our goal is for me to lose a whole lot of weight so that I'll be in prime fitness when we can finally undergo treatment. I have to lose about 40kg. I know that sounds like a lot, but I'm really heavy even though I look like I weigh a lot less (thank goodness!) This is where you guys come in. Because of my depression, I struggle to start things. It's hard to get out of bed in the morning, so it's really hard to summon the energy to hop on the treadmill and do a workout. I've got a home setup of a cheapo treadmill and a rowing/cycling machine, so I've got easy access to equipment and no excuses. So it it's not too much trouble, will someone touch base with me once or twice a week to keep me accountable and make sure I'm actually exercising and eating healthily? Does anyone else need to lose weight and want me to help keep you accountable and on track? Is there a whole bunch of us that want to get healthier and we could all keep each other accountable? I hope that some people will think this is a good idea. When we share the load we can go further than we ever could on our own.

white knight Anti social and trouble maker me
  • replies: 2

I'm 58 and a male. Recently retired on a pension with my wife, my carer. Diagnosed with Bipolar 2, dysthymia anxiety and depression. Likely had ADHD when young. I started seeing a psychiatrist in 2003, well after my roller coaster life had begun at 1... View more

I'm 58 and a male. Recently retired on a pension with my wife, my carer. Diagnosed with Bipolar 2, dysthymia anxiety and depression. Likely had ADHD when young. I started seeing a psychiatrist in 2003, well after my roller coaster life had begun at 18. At 17 I joined the military then alcohol was my demon, not that I liked it but it turned me into the village clown. By 20 I was discharged and by 25yo I'd owned 50 cars and worked at 30 jobs. I was and still am super sensitive and I tend to ruin relationships mainly in clubs and large organisations.To better understand my background my father died around 1992 and my mother has, I beleive, to be Borderline Personality Disorder. As we know if someone has big issues and lives in denial then you have little choice but to leave them and that is what my sister and I have done. Harsh? Well no, when it comes to survival and thats how serious it had become up until 2009 when I made that decision. I've read up a lot on how children are effected by a parent with BPD. It can be complex but I know my problems are far worse than had I not had a BPD mother. I got the most out of an online article by Lawson it covers the 4 personalities I had to deal with, the witch, the queen, the hermit and the waif. My mother has all 4.. Of course I couldnt deal with them.Now I am left with the effects. I know I am on the correct medication for all ills and am settled with my kind wife. But where it comes to interpersonal relations I'm a disaster. In one club I had a disagreement and what followed was an abusive private message eg "take more medication" etc I'm free about my illnesses and it has worked against me. What follows is my expectation that all clubs should take up the issues of abuse and "fix it". But they usually dont. And in my case they didnt. Which left me angry and what followed was confrontation with an explosion of anger. A few members supported me and helped, most didnt. Then you get the mob mentality, the talk behind your back and the ostrisizing which is another form of bullying. Eventually you know the only way forward is to leave. Let the able minded be without the burden of us that have caused their own inherited problems?. I've apologised to several and no acceptance was forthcoming making me feel worse.This has all resulted in me withdrawing slowly from society, scared to befriend anyone in case they turn out to be a bully. Social media hasnt helped overall. Even then you'll get an odd post with a double meaning that could be directed at me. So I reduced my friends list from 170 to 40. Its better now but it doesnt answer the whole problem picture.There is another side to me. My user name 'white knight' is a hint. I'm not really a white knight. The white knight syndrome is a person that helps others but eventually wants a reward for what they have done. I help others without wanting reward. Parents that have lost their children is one aspect. To be supportive and kind, an ear, is what I like to do. Sometimes it doesnt work out, other times I have ended up with incredible friends. So I'm a grey knight lol.I'm concerned as I've been ostricized by two clubs now. It cant be that both clubs are evil. It has to do with my over reactions and confrontations and not fitting in. Cognitve deficiency is what I call it. Somehwer ein my childhood I didnt learn street wisdom, the right time to say certain things and the wrong time to say certain things. . For some reason I want to be popular, needed and loved. But the love one gets from club members ends up pretty shallow. Then I think I'm better off in my shed buried in my hobbies and try to stop thinking about all this stuff. Easier said than done. I came up with a plan once. To act mute. To signal to people that I am mute. Then I'd never get into trouble. Of course that was silly. I seem quite strong but my hold on life is paper thin. Wonder if other feel this way and what do you do to enhance your social acceptance.

Sambo How to recover after a suicide attempt?
  • replies: 1

Hi. A few weeks ago i tried to commit suicide. I ended up in hospital for 2 days. This was in Australia and i am now back in England where i am living temporarily at the moment. I have been to 2 CBT sessions since being back and havent really found i... View more

Hi. A few weeks ago i tried to commit suicide. I ended up in hospital for 2 days. This was in Australia and i am now back in England where i am living temporarily at the moment. I have been to 2 CBT sessions since being back and havent really found it that helpful. I am not much of a talker anyway so it is hard for me to get anything across to anyone. I really just want to know if anybody else has ever felt the same after attempting anything. I know i definately havent as i constantly keep thinking about harming myself or different outcomes that could have come of my attempt. Anything would be helpful. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Mares73 Geoff- followup on issues re recovery
  • replies: 6

Hi all this concerns questions I have wanted to ask another member-Geoff about his recovery. I'm trying to work out whether I need to discuss my history with new psychologist or whether to focus on the issues I have at present. I realize most of us a... View more

Hi all this concerns questions I have wanted to ask another member-Geoff about his recovery. I'm trying to work out whether I need to discuss my history with new psychologist or whether to focus on the issues I have at present. I realize most of us are affected by our pasts but how do we move beyond the effect our past has had on us in order to start living in the present only. I know my depression, anxiety & PTSD is related to multiple abuse which in turn left me with very low self esteem & affected my ability to have a life where I was confident, happy & not deeply scarred. Do I need to work through what's happened in my life in order to improve my life? So many people seem paralyzed by trauma & can't move forward. I know I can't change what's happened to me but I must learn to live with it in order to have a decent life. I guess I'm tired of the struggle things like seeking approval from my family, having fears that hold me back, spending so much time on what happened. Yes I've had a harrowing life but I don't want it to always affect me or miss out on things with my kids cause I'm still grieving for my childhood. As Geoffrey has said he got to a point he couldn't resolve certain issues so he got rid of them & started again. How do I do this when my self esteem is so low? Where do I start? Living with depression is hard enough yet alone continuing to have regrets & unresolved issues. But then there's issues like my problem with intimacy which is due to past events but is also currently impacting on my marriage. I find it hard that things from the past can impact so much on the present. I feel like I desperately want to run away & be by myself. Yet I'm not anywhere near confident to know what to do & what action to take to improve my life. I'm really struggling with not going downhill. I want to be able to achieve things & I'm so upset when I cant. A few weeks ago I had a simple list of what I'd do each day but I lack purpose & motivation & by the end of the day I've achieved nothing apart from feeling stuck, unmotivated, lonely & isolated. I'm so disappointed in myself, frustrated that I want to get well but have no idea where to start. Geoff I'd appreciate you continuing our discussion & your advice. As Neil if you read this I've tried to post you a msg but not allowed. So hope your going ok, I think of you. Love Mares also wanted to write a post to Neil to see how he is going but personal messages are not permitted.

SnowBlue Commitment
  • replies: 2

I hearby make the commitment to cook a proper dinner for my family for the next 4 days

I hearby make the commitment to cook a proper dinner for my family for the next 4 days

Neil_1 Alcohol Free Days (part 2)
  • replies: 85

Hi folks April is fast approaching and as a result of the start of a new month I'm going to get off the grog again. Made it through in February - just that little bit tougher in April though - cause there's a couple more days to get through!! If any ... View more

Hi folks April is fast approaching and as a result of the start of a new month I'm going to get off the grog again. Made it through in February - just that little bit tougher in April though - cause there's a couple more days to get through!! If any Beyond Blue poster/community member who reckons they'd like to give this challenge a go with me, I'd LOVE to hear from you on this thread - it'll all commence on Tuesday, so prior to then whoever is interested in trying this, just make sure you've got no more alky-hole in your home cause that'll remove any temptation. Just a first tip I guess. No dramas at all if there's no-one, but I just thought I'd put this out there for anyone who is thinking that now might be a good time to have a bit of a 'dry-out'. ALSO, if any one "does" come on board, again absolutely no dramas if you drop off at some stage. It's the process of giving it a go is the main thing. Cheers beers (for a couple more days anyway!) Neil

Bec_Luke Trying new ways and Ideas to get through Day to day life
  • replies: 4

Hey Again My Fellow Friends, I'v had a different thought in away of dealing with my every day, day to day life, depression and what I maybe going through everyday. I was talking to a very good friend of mine from school he is engaged to his boyfriend... View more

Hey Again My Fellow Friends, I'v had a different thought in away of dealing with my every day, day to day life, depression and what I maybe going through everyday. I was talking to a very good friend of mine from school he is engaged to his boyfriend, who had experienced depression him self. My friend told me the other day that one of the ways that he delt with his depression is, he would make an anonymous you tube account and at the end of each day he would turn his webcam on and would record what his day was like or what had happened during the day. I have had a little bit of thought about trying this as well. However I'm interested to hear other peoples stories of how they deal or what they do to deal with their day to day to life and maybe experience what i have, and through depression. I do keep a diary and write in it occasionally, i seem to only write init when i maybe really confused or up tight about something or just can't figure things out. I haven't started yet but am attempting to maybe try and start blogging, and I also talk to you guys on here. But if anyone has ideas or just wants too share what you may do or helps, or is up for a discussion of different things and ways, Please feel free to reply Thanks heaps Bec.x

Bennybsting finding it hard to enjoy my free time
  • replies: 1

i have a history of mental illness which has had it highs and very lows, but as of the last couple of years im finding it realy hard to enjoy my free time. in order to keep my sanity in check ive minimised my drinking and started to take care of my h... View more

i have a history of mental illness which has had it highs and very lows, but as of the last couple of years im finding it realy hard to enjoy my free time. in order to keep my sanity in check ive minimised my drinking and started to take care of my health in general, but its all come at a cost of having a reduced social life. now on the weekends i cant alow myself to sit and watch movies play video games or do anything that doesnt serve some sort of benifit or productive outcome... and this is starting to have a detrimental effect on me mentally. is this normal? how do i just switch off like so many others seem to able to?